The past few weeks have been all about traveling back and forth. I spent the week before last making three seperate trips to New York to deal with some changes to the lighting for columbinus at New York Theatre Workshop. Despite the annoying trips on the Chinatown bus, I had a great experience working with the Workshop staff, and it was also great to be involved again with a show I belive in, and which ate up a good part of my life last season.
Last week was vacation. I cashed in frequent flyer miles and headed down to New Orleans to see S. My liver may never be the same, but the trip was exactly what the doctor ordered. I was able to leave all of my troubles behind, and had three days without thinking about my life. It was good to just be.
It was also good to be reminded there are people in my life, other than my family, who love me unconditionally.
Last night I journeyed back up to NY for the opening of columbinus. There are people for whom openings are no big deal, just another part of the process. I am not one of those. I find opening nights exciting, and this one especially so. I marvel at the confluence of events that allows my first New York credit to be as Associate Lighting Designer for an Off Broadway show. I know full well that I lead a charmed life, despite my occasional bitching.
And the show was great. I have seen it a lot over the past two seasons, but still found myself deeply moved last night. So congrats to the cast, the crew, and everyone else involved. And thanks for letting me share the ride.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Short Update
No, I have not died. Nor have I been off somewhere having wild monkey sex with someone. What I have been doing is traveling back and forth to NY for columbinus. A lot. Three trips in one week.
Thank god I go to New Orleans on Wednesday.
Thank god I go to New Orleans on Wednesday.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
New York
I may complain about this city from time to time, but really, it is hard not to love New York in the Spring.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
My Life At The Moment
I have not been writing about a part of my life for the past several months, even though it has occupied a good deal of my thoughts. One reason is because it has been too hard to try and speak about here. Another reason is because it involves another person, someone who reads this blog, and I don't want them to read (and possibly mis-interperet) something here that would best be said in person.
As you may have guessed, I have developed rather strong feelings for someone I am exceptionally close to, and these feelings are not mutual. The situation sucks, and I am having a hard time getting over it.
There is no ill will towards this other person. We are friends, and from the beginning have been nothing but honest with one another. They have been far more understanding of how this makes me feel than I really have any right to.
Like I said. The situation sucks, mostly because there is no bad guy here, no one to blame.
There really is not a whole lot more to say about it, except you know the person must be exceptional, if I find them attractive even when they are wearing flops.
As you may have guessed, I have developed rather strong feelings for someone I am exceptionally close to, and these feelings are not mutual. The situation sucks, and I am having a hard time getting over it.
There is no ill will towards this other person. We are friends, and from the beginning have been nothing but honest with one another. They have been far more understanding of how this makes me feel than I really have any right to.
Like I said. The situation sucks, mostly because there is no bad guy here, no one to blame.
There really is not a whole lot more to say about it, except you know the person must be exceptional, if I find them attractive even when they are wearing flops.
Other (Happier) News
Great review for Two Rooms in the Post today. Congrats to all involved, the praise is well deserved.
The News
Of course this story is probably the biggest news. The jury in the trial of Moussaoui came back with a verdict of no to the death penalty. I was surprised by how pleased I was by this. Some who know me may know that I used to believe in the death penalty. I have had a recent turn around on this thinking, due largely to a conversation I had several months ago with MB and City Mouse after my post about the implications of the film Munich.
As Moussaoui may very well be the only person who will ever be brought to trial in connection with the 9/11 attacks, his case brings up some very interesting moral questions. One, where is the line past which someone is beyond forgiveness? Is ten people dead too much? 100? 1,000? Six million? Do we really belive that some people are beyond redemption? And where does redemption end and justice begin? Don't we all believe there are consequences to our actions? Does consequence equal revenge? Let's face it, executing Moussaoui would have been nothing but vengance, but I don't know if in this case it also wouldn't have been just.
Moussaoui did not carry out any of the 9/11 attacks. He was in US custody at the time. But there is evidence he was training to be one of the hijackers, and probably would have participated if he had been free. Federal prosecuters argued that had he co-operated with them, the 9/11 attacks may have been prevented. So if Moussoui is guilty, and deserves the death penalty for having had the ability to stop 9/11 and failing to do so, how safe, morally, are any of us? There is a seemingly endless series of atrocities being carried out every day in the world, yet we fail to act, fail to do anything to stop the suffering and bloodshed. Despite the Bush rhetoric about creating a world "where the strong protect the weak", our refusal to involve ourselves in situations like Darfur because they have nothing we value, leaves a big red stain of guilt on all of our hands.
No answers here folks. Just questions.
Lots and lots of questions.
As Moussaoui may very well be the only person who will ever be brought to trial in connection with the 9/11 attacks, his case brings up some very interesting moral questions. One, where is the line past which someone is beyond forgiveness? Is ten people dead too much? 100? 1,000? Six million? Do we really belive that some people are beyond redemption? And where does redemption end and justice begin? Don't we all believe there are consequences to our actions? Does consequence equal revenge? Let's face it, executing Moussaoui would have been nothing but vengance, but I don't know if in this case it also wouldn't have been just.
Moussaoui did not carry out any of the 9/11 attacks. He was in US custody at the time. But there is evidence he was training to be one of the hijackers, and probably would have participated if he had been free. Federal prosecuters argued that had he co-operated with them, the 9/11 attacks may have been prevented. So if Moussoui is guilty, and deserves the death penalty for having had the ability to stop 9/11 and failing to do so, how safe, morally, are any of us? There is a seemingly endless series of atrocities being carried out every day in the world, yet we fail to act, fail to do anything to stop the suffering and bloodshed. Despite the Bush rhetoric about creating a world "where the strong protect the weak", our refusal to involve ourselves in situations like Darfur because they have nothing we value, leaves a big red stain of guilt on all of our hands.
No answers here folks. Just questions.
Lots and lots of questions.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The In- Between
Somewhere between the highs and lows that we usually are refering to when we discuss love and relationships, is the In -Between. The mundane stuff that fills up our time between the romantic stuff and the hard stuff. Shopping for a birthday present for her niece, buying new blinds for your apartment, looking for that book she heard about on NPR. You could each do these things by yourselves, but somehow having the other person along is what really makes these activities worthwhile.
It is easy to be excited about the other person when out for a romantic evening, or together at a social gathering. But to be excited about spending time with another person while doing something as boring shopping for groceries is the mark of something extraordinary.
For the In-Between is where love truly exists, when you find someone who lifts the pedestrian to the sublime simply because they are there.
It is easy to be excited about the other person when out for a romantic evening, or together at a social gathering. But to be excited about spending time with another person while doing something as boring shopping for groceries is the mark of something extraordinary.
For the In-Between is where love truly exists, when you find someone who lifts the pedestrian to the sublime simply because they are there.
Friday, April 21, 2006
So...
A number of people have commented to me lately about my rather sporadic (and often cryptic) blog posts. There have been two reasons for that. One is because I have been stupidly busy over the past couple of months.
No complaints there. Busy means work, which I love, and income, which my stomach's annoying fixation on being filled, loves. The project I am currently involved in, Two Rooms over at Theater Alliance, is turning into a really great experience. The cast are all great to work with, as are the director and other designers.
The second reason for my lack of posting is one aspect of my personal life is difficult for me at the moment, although not as hard as it could be. I am exceptionally grateful for the latter.
I have not felt like writing about that part of my life. I still don't. But it does occupy my mind a good bit, so it is hard to write about other things. Consequently, I end up not writing at all.
I really can't say too much more about it. I just have to get past where I am right now.
But like the Beatles say, I get by with a little help from my friends.
No complaints there. Busy means work, which I love, and income, which my stomach's annoying fixation on being filled, loves. The project I am currently involved in, Two Rooms over at Theater Alliance, is turning into a really great experience. The cast are all great to work with, as are the director and other designers.
The second reason for my lack of posting is one aspect of my personal life is difficult for me at the moment, although not as hard as it could be. I am exceptionally grateful for the latter.
I have not felt like writing about that part of my life. I still don't. But it does occupy my mind a good bit, so it is hard to write about other things. Consequently, I end up not writing at all.
I really can't say too much more about it. I just have to get past where I am right now.
But like the Beatles say, I get by with a little help from my friends.
I Love When I Do That
I love when I leave my production book at the theatre so I can't work on the paperwork I had planned on this morning.
Hopefully that is not indicative of how the day is going to go.
Hopefully that is not indicative of how the day is going to go.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Drama Prom
First let me say a huge thank you to the organizers of this years Helen Hayes Awards for keeping the thing reigned in at just over two hours. Those of us who were there mostly for the open bar afterwords, apreciate it.
Second, a big thanks to Lucky Spinster for allowing me to be her escort to the festivities last night. And for not wearing flops.
There were no big surprises at the ceremony, although the after party contained a few.
The first was a piece of news that I am afraid I cannot share yet, but I hope you will all send good wishes my way.
I also got to meet a few people I had only known through their on-line persona, most notably Theaterboy. It was nice to finally put a face and voice to the person whose writing I have been reading for a year.
Sadly, I had been up since 6:00 AM, so I pooped out early and went home. So if I did not see you or spend as much time with you as I would normally have done, please don't take it personally. I am just old.
Second, a big thanks to Lucky Spinster for allowing me to be her escort to the festivities last night. And for not wearing flops.
There were no big surprises at the ceremony, although the after party contained a few.
The first was a piece of news that I am afraid I cannot share yet, but I hope you will all send good wishes my way.
I also got to meet a few people I had only known through their on-line persona, most notably Theaterboy. It was nice to finally put a face and voice to the person whose writing I have been reading for a year.
Sadly, I had been up since 6:00 AM, so I pooped out early and went home. So if I did not see you or spend as much time with you as I would normally have done, please don't take it personally. I am just old.
Monday, April 17, 2006
My Word Is My Bond?
This post and the ensuing comments started me thinking again about keeping one's word in this business we call show. I feel as badly as anyone about what happened to Karl, but it should be remembered that he also pulled out of a project he had committed to, and left the company to recast the show without a lot of time, in order to take part in the New York Theatre Workshop production.
There seems to be an accepted convention among those working freelance, that we sign on to a project with the understanding that we may dump it if something bigger/higher profile/better money comes along. In some cases, such as columbinus, the issue is more complicated because a project may have a life farther than we are able to forsee. I don't know how you balance those commitments. I believe that Karl, and the other artists involved were acting on that impulse, and not simply because the show is being done in a high profile venue in NY.
Let's face it. There are rarely real consequences for pulling out of a show. First, we are all struggling, and though it may be a pain in the ass for us at the time, I think most of us want to see our fellow artists succeed. And if we do harbour ill will, it's not terribly likely we are going to go through the trouble of suing over breach of contract. Not for the kind of money most of us are talking about. At most what we will say is "I won't work with/ for that person/ company again."
And really. Who is not going to cast Karl Miller in a role he is suited for?
But is there a point where our word, or even our signature on a contract, stops being something that can be trusted? And if that trust goes, what happens to the trust neccessary to have a true and successful collaboration? This is a business built on personal relationships. We tend to work with the same people over and over again, mostly because we share a similar aesthetic, but also becasue we trust them.
I do not want to seem as if I am criticising Karl, or anyone else. It would be hypocritical of me in any case. Last season I bailed on assisting on Romeo and Juliet at the Folger so I could go design Hedwig at Perseverance, although it was done with the designer's blessing. I have also gotten two design gigs in the last two seasons because the original designers had to bow out to take other projects, so I am certainly benefitting from this tendency in the business.
I don't have any answers, I am afraid. Theatre is a complicated business, one that is extremely tough to make a living in, so sometimes choices must be made. Still it is largely a business where we truly are only as good as our word, so we should maybe think carefully about who we break our word to, and perhaps more importantly, who we give it to.
There seems to be an accepted convention among those working freelance, that we sign on to a project with the understanding that we may dump it if something bigger/higher profile/better money comes along. In some cases, such as columbinus, the issue is more complicated because a project may have a life farther than we are able to forsee. I don't know how you balance those commitments. I believe that Karl, and the other artists involved were acting on that impulse, and not simply because the show is being done in a high profile venue in NY.
Let's face it. There are rarely real consequences for pulling out of a show. First, we are all struggling, and though it may be a pain in the ass for us at the time, I think most of us want to see our fellow artists succeed. And if we do harbour ill will, it's not terribly likely we are going to go through the trouble of suing over breach of contract. Not for the kind of money most of us are talking about. At most what we will say is "I won't work with/ for that person/ company again."
And really. Who is not going to cast Karl Miller in a role he is suited for?
But is there a point where our word, or even our signature on a contract, stops being something that can be trusted? And if that trust goes, what happens to the trust neccessary to have a true and successful collaboration? This is a business built on personal relationships. We tend to work with the same people over and over again, mostly because we share a similar aesthetic, but also becasue we trust them.
I do not want to seem as if I am criticising Karl, or anyone else. It would be hypocritical of me in any case. Last season I bailed on assisting on Romeo and Juliet at the Folger so I could go design Hedwig at Perseverance, although it was done with the designer's blessing. I have also gotten two design gigs in the last two seasons because the original designers had to bow out to take other projects, so I am certainly benefitting from this tendency in the business.
I don't have any answers, I am afraid. Theatre is a complicated business, one that is extremely tough to make a living in, so sometimes choices must be made. Still it is largely a business where we truly are only as good as our word, so we should maybe think carefully about who we break our word to, and perhaps more importantly, who we give it to.
Smart
I love working on shows with smart people. Smart actors, smart director, smart designers. It makes the whole process so much more enriching.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Catching Up
I feel as if I have not stopped moving since leaving to do Hair at Perseverance. I have no idea where the month of March went, and April does not seem to be faring any better. I have been working at the summer day job in between design gigs, which had tapered off radically after the Fall. The pace seems to be picking back up, which is refreshing, although some of it is last minute so I find myself scrambling to get caught up.
A couple of highlights over the past few weeks:
I designed Cinderella for Columbia Classical Ballet in SC, and got to spend some time hanging out with an old friend from college (the first time around).
I went to a trade show in Lousiville, KY last weekend and caught up with some folks I had not seen in awhile, and even managed to get some leads on side work that will help me stop doing the rigging thing in between designing.
While in Louisville, I also saw the ten minute play that City Mouse directed at Actors Theatre as part of the Humana Festival. The show was outstanding. Nice work, CM.
Calls about design have started to trickle in, so that is a good thing. Of course, they are all for times I am already booked, but it is good to have the offers. Even better, all of the calls are based off recommendations from people I know, including Lucky Spinster. Thanks, sis.
Time to get back to the old drawing board (literally), and finish some paperwork for Two Rooms, being as it loads-in in a week.
Yikes.
Peace in yer crease.
A couple of highlights over the past few weeks:
I designed Cinderella for Columbia Classical Ballet in SC, and got to spend some time hanging out with an old friend from college (the first time around).
I went to a trade show in Lousiville, KY last weekend and caught up with some folks I had not seen in awhile, and even managed to get some leads on side work that will help me stop doing the rigging thing in between designing.
While in Louisville, I also saw the ten minute play that City Mouse directed at Actors Theatre as part of the Humana Festival. The show was outstanding. Nice work, CM.
Calls about design have started to trickle in, so that is a good thing. Of course, they are all for times I am already booked, but it is good to have the offers. Even better, all of the calls are based off recommendations from people I know, including Lucky Spinster. Thanks, sis.
Time to get back to the old drawing board (literally), and finish some paperwork for Two Rooms, being as it loads-in in a week.
Yikes.
Peace in yer crease.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
For Those Of You Who Care
I will produce longer (and less cryptic) posts soon.
Just not this week.
Cause, damn.
Just not this week.
Cause, damn.
It Never Rains But...
Remember a while ago when I was bitching about having no work after the 15th of March?
Yeah.
Careful what you wish for.
Yeah.
Careful what you wish for.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Springtime Again
The good things about the return of Spring.
1) Warmer weather. I love not having to wear a coat.
2) The raiin never smells so good as it does in the Spring.
3) More revealing outfits.
The bad things.
1) Pollen.
2) Once again, people feel it is OK to wear flip flops as street wear.
1) Warmer weather. I love not having to wear a coat.
2) The raiin never smells so good as it does in the Spring.
3) More revealing outfits.
The bad things.
1) Pollen.
2) Once again, people feel it is OK to wear flip flops as street wear.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Blog Hiatus
I have decided to stop posting here on the ol blog for a while, perhaps permanently. I have not been free to write about what has been on my mind lately, so there seems little point in continuing.
Maybe when I get past where I am at the moment, I will return.
Take care, all.
Maybe when I get past where I am at the moment, I will return.
Take care, all.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
A toast for you.
May you have food and clothing,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be in heaven half an hour
before the Devil knows you're dead.
Be safe and have fun everyone.
May you have food and clothing,
a soft pillow for your head.
May you be in heaven half an hour
before the Devil knows you're dead.
Be safe and have fun everyone.
A Sure Sign You Are In The South
The willingness to fry just about anything. I was in a restaurant yesterday that had fried cheescake on the menu.
Yes, you read that right. Fried Cheescake.
Yes, you read that right. Fried Cheescake.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Southbound Silver Star, 9:08 PM
The old man sits down across from me. After a few moments he speaks, to no one in particular. I don't acknowledge it, just put on my headphones and turn up the volume.
He sits there staring off into space. I find myself aping his expression. A part of me wants to reach out to him. I imagine my father, and hope someone in the same situation would not just sit there and ignore his lonliness.
But I am too wrapped up in my own to try and ease someone else's pain. So I sit quietly listening to the droning voice of Bob Dylan, silently wishing the old man would go away.
When he does, I find my lonliness has increased.
He sits there staring off into space. I find myself aping his expression. A part of me wants to reach out to him. I imagine my father, and hope someone in the same situation would not just sit there and ignore his lonliness.
But I am too wrapped up in my own to try and ease someone else's pain. So I sit quietly listening to the droning voice of Bob Dylan, silently wishing the old man would go away.
When he does, I find my lonliness has increased.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
There Is A Private Circle Of Hell...
...reserved for the people who thought the "red-eye" flight was a good idea.
I am a wee bit cranky this morning, can we tell?
I am a wee bit cranky this morning, can we tell?
A Question For The Folks At Northwest Airlines
Who do I have to blow for you to get a fucking plane off the ground on time?*
*Typed angrily in Detroit as I wait three hours for the next plane to DC
*Typed angrily in Detroit as I wait three hours for the next plane to DC
Home, Where My Music's Playin...
After two of the roughest weeks I have ever had in a theatre, I am on my way home. For a few hours at least. Then it is off to South Carolina to do Cinderella with Columbia Classical Ballet.
When I return to DC on Saturday, the season will be over for me as a designer.
And it is only March.
A part of me is glad to have a break from it. Cinderella will be my 15th show this season, and I am feeling somewhat drained.
But the other part of me is annoyed to have to be figuring out how to scrape out a living doing something else, especially after the schedule I have been keeping up so far this season. Add to that I don't really know how to do anything else, and I am feeling in a bind.
I find myself contemplating graduate school again, as I frequently do when my schedule goes dry. S has told me in no uncertain terms I am not allowed to go to graduate school just because I don't feel like facing life in the working world. She is probably right.
I was very bad about keeping in touch while I was in the wilds of Alaska. To those who did not hear from me, don't take it personally. The show ate me alive, and I did little other than go to the theatre and go to where I was staying and go to bed.
The good thing about workin so hard while there was it distracted me from other things that have been weighing on my mind. The bad thing is those things really crashed in on me last night in an uncomfortable way.
The two highlights from my trip were the non-birthday party thrown for me by East Coast Alaska Girl, and A, the theatre's technical director, and dinner last night with A at her place. Both were wonderfully relaxing and allowed me to enjoy the presence of my friends without the angst of the show.
Babbling here, time to sign off.
When I return to DC on Saturday, the season will be over for me as a designer.
And it is only March.
A part of me is glad to have a break from it. Cinderella will be my 15th show this season, and I am feeling somewhat drained.
But the other part of me is annoyed to have to be figuring out how to scrape out a living doing something else, especially after the schedule I have been keeping up so far this season. Add to that I don't really know how to do anything else, and I am feeling in a bind.
I find myself contemplating graduate school again, as I frequently do when my schedule goes dry. S has told me in no uncertain terms I am not allowed to go to graduate school just because I don't feel like facing life in the working world. She is probably right.
I was very bad about keeping in touch while I was in the wilds of Alaska. To those who did not hear from me, don't take it personally. The show ate me alive, and I did little other than go to the theatre and go to where I was staying and go to bed.
The good thing about workin so hard while there was it distracted me from other things that have been weighing on my mind. The bad thing is those things really crashed in on me last night in an uncomfortable way.
The two highlights from my trip were the non-birthday party thrown for me by East Coast Alaska Girl, and A, the theatre's technical director, and dinner last night with A at her place. Both were wonderfully relaxing and allowed me to enjoy the presence of my friends without the angst of the show.
Babbling here, time to sign off.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Mwafrragghhhh!
No, this is not an entry in Chewbacca’s blog. This was me Friday afternoon on board a flight from Minneapolis to Anchorage. Of course, for it to be a flight, we would actually have to have lifted off the ground.
The day began well enough. I woke up at 5:45, showered, finished the last minute packing, and headed to the airport. I breezed through check in and security, and had time to have a small bite and read a little of my book before boarding the first of my scheduled three flights. I had only a forty minutes between each of these flights, so I was somewhat nervous about making all my connections, especially in Minneapolis. The Minneapolis- Saint Paul airport is rather huge.
I had apparently used up all of my good flight karma for the day. We touched down a few minutes behind schedule at Minneapolis, and my connection was at another gate. Cue LD running* through the airport to get to his connection. I made it to the plane, got on board to discover I was seated in the family section. Not one, not two, but three different families traveling with children under the age of two. One family with two. Can we guess where they were seated?
We all settled in and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
About half an hour after our scheduled departure time, the captain came on the speaker to inform us they were replacing a light bulb in the cockpit, and we would be on our way momentarily.
Some twenty minutes later the doors were finally closed.
And we waited.
The captain then informed us we were waiting for a crew to push us back from the gate. A short time later we actually began moving. We backed up about two hundred yards from the gate.
And we stopped.
And waited.
Finally the captain came on to inform us there was a computer problem, and they were waiting on word form the maintanence department.
And we waited.
We began to move, and the whole cabin breathed a sigh of relief.
A sigh that was cut short when we realized we were moving back to the gate. Someone please kill me now! We arrived back at the gate and guess what we did. We waited.
They finally opened the doors and made an announcement that anyone who wanted to exit the plane and get something to eat could do so. Then we were given a stern warning that as soon as the computer was switched out, we would be departing and anyone not on board at that time would be left behind. Oh, and by the way, we can’t tell you how long the repair will take. I knew if I got off the plane there was no way in hell I was getting back on, so I stayed on board.
And who else decided to stay on board? All three families.
After some time I stood up to stretch out, and ended up staying up for about an hour because I was just too pissed off to sit.
Eventually, they re-boarded the plane, and we took off exactly three hours past our scheduled departure time. Needless to say, I missed my connection in Anchorage, and as there was no room on the last flight to Juneau, I was put up in a hotel near the airport (the Puffin Inn, really, I couldn’t make that up).
The only good thing to say about the trip, despite the nine hours aboard a single aircraft, was the view in the morning as we flew South to Juneau was spectacular. It started me on a whole series of contemplations that will have to wait because I need to go to bed.
More later, because there are tales to tell.
The day began well enough. I woke up at 5:45, showered, finished the last minute packing, and headed to the airport. I breezed through check in and security, and had time to have a small bite and read a little of my book before boarding the first of my scheduled three flights. I had only a forty minutes between each of these flights, so I was somewhat nervous about making all my connections, especially in Minneapolis. The Minneapolis- Saint Paul airport is rather huge.
I had apparently used up all of my good flight karma for the day. We touched down a few minutes behind schedule at Minneapolis, and my connection was at another gate. Cue LD running* through the airport to get to his connection. I made it to the plane, got on board to discover I was seated in the family section. Not one, not two, but three different families traveling with children under the age of two. One family with two. Can we guess where they were seated?
We all settled in and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
About half an hour after our scheduled departure time, the captain came on the speaker to inform us they were replacing a light bulb in the cockpit, and we would be on our way momentarily.
Some twenty minutes later the doors were finally closed.
And we waited.
The captain then informed us we were waiting for a crew to push us back from the gate. A short time later we actually began moving. We backed up about two hundred yards from the gate.
And we stopped.
And waited.
Finally the captain came on to inform us there was a computer problem, and they were waiting on word form the maintanence department.
And we waited.
We began to move, and the whole cabin breathed a sigh of relief.
A sigh that was cut short when we realized we were moving back to the gate. Someone please kill me now! We arrived back at the gate and guess what we did. We waited.
They finally opened the doors and made an announcement that anyone who wanted to exit the plane and get something to eat could do so. Then we were given a stern warning that as soon as the computer was switched out, we would be departing and anyone not on board at that time would be left behind. Oh, and by the way, we can’t tell you how long the repair will take. I knew if I got off the plane there was no way in hell I was getting back on, so I stayed on board.
And who else decided to stay on board? All three families.
After some time I stood up to stretch out, and ended up staying up for about an hour because I was just too pissed off to sit.
Eventually, they re-boarded the plane, and we took off exactly three hours past our scheduled departure time. Needless to say, I missed my connection in Anchorage, and as there was no room on the last flight to Juneau, I was put up in a hotel near the airport (the Puffin Inn, really, I couldn’t make that up).
The only good thing to say about the trip, despite the nine hours aboard a single aircraft, was the view in the morning as we flew South to Juneau was spectacular. It started me on a whole series of contemplations that will have to wait because I need to go to bed.
More later, because there are tales to tell.
For Those Of You Wondering
I made it safely to Juneau, although a day later than planned.
More on that later.
More on that later.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Grrr.
I am currently sitting in the office (Starbucks). It is, as you might imagine on a Sunday afternoon, rather crowded. And the person who just vacated the seat beside me? Had been taking up two spaces worth of counter with his laptop and laptop bag, and had not ordered anything. Was taking up space without contributing anything to the establishment that was providing him with the opportunity to get his Wi-Fi on.
People like that should be taken out and shot.
Grrrr.
People like that should be taken out and shot.
Grrrr.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Backward Steps
This morning, my alarm went off at 5:00 AM. Not because I had made a mistake in setting it, and not because I had to go to the airport. No, my alarm went off because I had agreed to go back to work for a few days for the company I used to install rigging and machinery for.
The past month and a half have not been banner months where producing income are concerned, so I was grateful to have the work. I know I was helping them out of a bind, and they also are very greatful. Still, I feel like I have just taken several Paul Bunyon sized steps backwards in terms of where I want my professional life to be going.
My anxiety level has been building as time goes on and I am still unable to line up work after the middle of next month. And it seems the more I try to grasp at possibilities for the future, the more thay wriggle away. My neurosis about the future has even spilled over to other aspects of my ife, and was a key issue in my doing something that risked alienating someone I care for a great deal. Fortunately, they are a better person than I and have chosen to let it go.
I feel very much at a crossroads, and am unsure what the next step should be.
There is a point in there somewhere, but I think the sleep deprivation is taking it's toll.
The past month and a half have not been banner months where producing income are concerned, so I was grateful to have the work. I know I was helping them out of a bind, and they also are very greatful. Still, I feel like I have just taken several Paul Bunyon sized steps backwards in terms of where I want my professional life to be going.
My anxiety level has been building as time goes on and I am still unable to line up work after the middle of next month. And it seems the more I try to grasp at possibilities for the future, the more thay wriggle away. My neurosis about the future has even spilled over to other aspects of my ife, and was a key issue in my doing something that risked alienating someone I care for a great deal. Fortunately, they are a better person than I and have chosen to let it go.
I feel very much at a crossroads, and am unsure what the next step should be.
There is a point in there somewhere, but I think the sleep deprivation is taking it's toll.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Random Crap
I have been a little wrapped up in myself of late. There has been a lot on my mind, and I think I may have been wallowing in the negative aspects of my life a bit. Time, I guess, to put that behind me.
I got a surprise call from BP (formerly known as BL), one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, last night. In a long discussion about life, love and other such matters, she ended by articulating what she was looking for like this: " I want complicated (because if you are really involved in the reationship, it is complicated), I want to know I am loved, and I want great sex."
That doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?
She concluded the conversation with two bits to cheer me up, one was of a personal nature, but the other was that someone we both know used to be a male stripper. I have not laughed that hard in weeks.
Other things going on.
I finished my plot for Hair yesterday evening and sent it on to the theatre. I was feeling a bit of cabin fever (I had not left the house since Sunday afternoon) so decided to take a walk. This was around 12:30 AM.
I had a lot swirling around in my head, and my attempts at writing it out had proved fruitless. I found the walk really cleared my head. Maybe Mr. Cruise was on to something.
Nah.
In the midst of my walk I got a call from East Coast Alaska Girl. One of the advantages to having a Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse is that no matter what the hour, there is a good chance one of them is up.
I got a surprise call from BP (formerly known as BL), one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, last night. In a long discussion about life, love and other such matters, she ended by articulating what she was looking for like this: " I want complicated (because if you are really involved in the reationship, it is complicated), I want to know I am loved, and I want great sex."
That doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?
She concluded the conversation with two bits to cheer me up, one was of a personal nature, but the other was that someone we both know used to be a male stripper. I have not laughed that hard in weeks.
Other things going on.
I finished my plot for Hair yesterday evening and sent it on to the theatre. I was feeling a bit of cabin fever (I had not left the house since Sunday afternoon) so decided to take a walk. This was around 12:30 AM.
I had a lot swirling around in my head, and my attempts at writing it out had proved fruitless. I found the walk really cleared my head. Maybe Mr. Cruise was on to something.
Nah.
In the midst of my walk I got a call from East Coast Alaska Girl. One of the advantages to having a Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse is that no matter what the hour, there is a good chance one of them is up.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Things I Don't Need In My Life Right Now
Just read a job posting on line. The job is in town, pays well with benefits, and I could do it with my eyes closed. Have I mentioned I have no work after the middle of March.
I don't need this temptation in my life right now.
I don't need this temptation in my life right now.
Wonder What Will Become Of This?
I read this story this evening. Seems the Vice President was on a hunting trip in Texas and accidentally shot one of his fellow hunters. The person survived and was taken to a hospital where he is in good condition. What I am left wondering, however, is if you or I shot someone in a hunting accident*, would we be allowed to board a plane and leave the state within 24 hours?
*Don't even ask how such an event could occur, being as I don't hunt.
*Don't even ask how such an event could occur, being as I don't hunt.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
On Why I -Heart- My MSGAP So Much
Because when I am on the phone at 1:00 AM being a self-centered, egomaniacal asshole, they call me on it.
I love that they don't let me get away with bullshit.
I love that they don't let me get away with bullshit.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Current Mood: Shitty
On S's blog, she has the option of giving a descriptor to her current mood. It even comes with a little emoticon. I wonder what the emoticon for "Shitty" would be?
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Backyard Additions
So now, in addition to the super-sized rat trap behind my apartment building, they have added a one of those stand up cigarette butt collectors beside it.
If I see one rat out there smoking a Camel, I am fucking out of here.
If I see one rat out there smoking a Camel, I am fucking out of here.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Blog On Demand
A number of people have pointed out to me that I have not been posting much here on the ol blog. There are a couple of reasons for this, but mostly I feel like I have been using this blog to keep people up to date on my life, instead of actually sitting down and talking to them/ calling them. Seems a little anti-social.
There has been a lot going through my mind of late, issues of career and the future and personal life and such. I have been feeling a little stressed about work and the lack thereof after the middle of March. Also on my mind is what the next step is in terms of working out of town (which actually pays enough to live on) vs. working here in town (which doesn't).
Twelve shows have opened so far this season with my name attatched to them in some way, and I am feeling a little fried.
On to the positive.
A fellow blogger has asked me to do event lighting for her wedding reception this Fall. I just think that's really cool.
Through a strange bit of randomness, I got to see a friend this evening that for various reasons I have not seen in a few weeks. Also really cool.
My brain is mush. I am going to bed. There is a plot for Hair to be finished by end of day tomorrow.
Peace.
There has been a lot going through my mind of late, issues of career and the future and personal life and such. I have been feeling a little stressed about work and the lack thereof after the middle of March. Also on my mind is what the next step is in terms of working out of town (which actually pays enough to live on) vs. working here in town (which doesn't).
Twelve shows have opened so far this season with my name attatched to them in some way, and I am feeling a little fried.
On to the positive.
A fellow blogger has asked me to do event lighting for her wedding reception this Fall. I just think that's really cool.
Through a strange bit of randomness, I got to see a friend this evening that for various reasons I have not seen in a few weeks. Also really cool.
My brain is mush. I am going to bed. There is a plot for Hair to be finished by end of day tomorrow.
Peace.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Meme* Madness
Doing the meme from yesterday, I was reminded of one that East Coast Alaska Girl tagged me with about a bazillion years ago. So here goes.
1. What are the 3 stupidest things you've ever done in your life?
I try not to regret the things I have done in my life. Who I am now is based on where I have been, and I am pretty happy with the person I am (not to say there is not room for improvement). But here goes.
1) Getting married without having figured out who I was first. You can't build a life with someone else until you have built a life for yourself.
2) Letting that marriage go so long without being honest with her about how I felt.
3) Putting aside my dreams for someone else, when I knew in my heart it would not make the slightest difference to the other person.
2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
The Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse. You can't have too much tough love in your life.
3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?
1) Myself twenty years ago.
2) Myself twenty years from now.
3) Socrates
4) Thomas Jefferson
5) Leonardo Da Vinci
4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
That I was not in debt, that my friends were free to pursue their callings without financial concern, that I had the means to see some of my friends a little more often.
5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
Things I wish DC had:
24 Hour Metro.
More places to eat at 3:30 in the morning.
Things to avoid.
Thomas Circle (at least until they are finished with construction)
The area around the Capitol when we are on "Mauve Alert" or whatever the color coding is now.
I tag, City Mouse, Bea Yourself, S.
* Forgive my ignorance, how is this word pronounced?
1. What are the 3 stupidest things you've ever done in your life?
I try not to regret the things I have done in my life. Who I am now is based on where I have been, and I am pretty happy with the person I am (not to say there is not room for improvement). But here goes.
1) Getting married without having figured out who I was first. You can't build a life with someone else until you have built a life for yourself.
2) Letting that marriage go so long without being honest with her about how I felt.
3) Putting aside my dreams for someone else, when I knew in my heart it would not make the slightest difference to the other person.
2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
The Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse. You can't have too much tough love in your life.
3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?
1) Myself twenty years ago.
2) Myself twenty years from now.
3) Socrates
4) Thomas Jefferson
5) Leonardo Da Vinci
4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
That I was not in debt, that my friends were free to pursue their callings without financial concern, that I had the means to see some of my friends a little more often.
5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
Things I wish DC had:
24 Hour Metro.
More places to eat at 3:30 in the morning.
Things to avoid.
Thomas Circle (at least until they are finished with construction)
The area around the Capitol when we are on "Mauve Alert" or whatever the color coding is now.
I tag, City Mouse, Bea Yourself, S.
* Forgive my ignorance, how is this word pronounced?
Friday, January 27, 2006
City Mouse tagged me with this meme
SEVEN SONGS:List seven songs you are into right now; no matter the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good. They must be songs you're really enjoying this week. When you're done, tag seven people to see what they're listening to.
SEVEN SONGS:List seven songs you are into right now; no matter the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good. They must be songs you're really enjoying this week. When you're done, tag seven people to see what they're listening to.
- Sweet Child O' Mine; Guns and Roses. When I am in a crappy mood (which because of work silliness has been most of this week) this song goes to 11 on the iPod.
- American Woman; The Guess Who. Same reason. Sometimes you just really need loud rock and roll.
- Origin Of Love; Hedwig and The Angry Inch soundtrack. I love how this song sets up the psychological action of the whole show. Plus, it's a beautiful story.
- Shake Your Groove Thing; Peaches and Herb. What can I say, I am old enough to remember 70's radio. And I can't hear it without seeing in my mind's eye Bill Irwin in The Clown Bagatelles.
- The Big Reel of Ballynacally/The High Hill/Flash Away The Pressing Gang: Solas. My favorite Irish trad band. Great walking music and really lifts the spirits.
- It's Only Rock and Roll; The Rolling Stones.
- Blinded by the Light; Manfred Mann's Earth Band. Yeah, really have no excuse for this one. Just fond memories.
I tag the MSGAP (Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse), at least those of you with blogs. This would include S, Bea Yourself, Lucky Spinster, East Coast Alaska Girl, Biker Chick. I don't have two more, I am afraid.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Rats: Part II
I was on the phone with a colleague this afternoon, and happened to look out my apartment window down on the rat trap below. And there was some poor guy, cleaning it out.
After I got over my convulsions, I was left with one thought.
Thank god I have job skills.
After I got over my convulsions, I was left with one thought.
Thank god I have job skills.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Rats
The window in my apartment looks out onto the backs of two other apartment buildings. At night, I look down on a light fixture that shines over two doorways. The doorways are flanked by two concrete posts, and the light from the fixture just manages to paint the edges of them. The fixture itself casts a lovely pattern on the ground. All in all, a lovely composition.
At least it would be, but the focal point of this composition is the largest rat trap I have ever seen. I don't mean the kind with a spring and a piece of cheese, but the ones where they go in and get stuck and then starve to death. It is huge. Seriously, you could lose a poodle in there.
I have a severe rodent phobia* (I have been known to cross the street to avoid them), and I don't really want to have to contemplate how large the rats are that this trap is meant to ensnare, and how close they are living to me.
*There is a funny bit of irony there, but I don't think I will share it.
At least it would be, but the focal point of this composition is the largest rat trap I have ever seen. I don't mean the kind with a spring and a piece of cheese, but the ones where they go in and get stuck and then starve to death. It is huge. Seriously, you could lose a poodle in there.
I have a severe rodent phobia* (I have been known to cross the street to avoid them), and I don't really want to have to contemplate how large the rats are that this trap is meant to ensnare, and how close they are living to me.
*There is a funny bit of irony there, but I don't think I will share it.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Self Editing
On the phone with S the other night, she pointed out to me that of late I have not been very open here on the ol blog. I suppose this is true, and probably why I have stopped posting on a regular basis. I won't go into why I feel the need to self edit, but it does leave me wondering if I shouldn't just discontinue writing here.
Your thoughts, gentle readers?
Your thoughts, gentle readers?
Monday, January 16, 2006
Munich
Saw the film this evening. I have to start off by saying I think it is a very well crafted bit of storytelling. Probably the best piece Spielberg has ever done.
Now, having said that, I have to say I had huge thematic issues with the movie. Despite his protestations otherwise, Spielberg has sent out a message that says violence will only beget violence, leading us down an endless path of retribution. I don't have a problem with this idea, in fact I believe it with all my heart. What bothers me is that in the end, the mouthpiece for this notion is a man who murdered eight people, and is seemingly only concerned with their actual guilt after he feels his family is threatened. And lest we forget, his family is in danger because of his actions. He made a concious choice to murder (whether you call them assassinations or murder, the people in question are still dead) these people, yet Spielberg expects us to have some level of sympathy for him. Sorry, Steven, the character is a scumbag, plain and simple. Murdering for the state is no different than murdering for the mob, or for the guy's rolex, the end result is still the death of another human being. Having a moral issue with it after you have committed the deed is not evidence of a strong character.
If we are trying to make some statement about trying to stop an endless stream of violence, then please have it come from someone not steeped in the blood of others.
Now, having said that, I have to say I had huge thematic issues with the movie. Despite his protestations otherwise, Spielberg has sent out a message that says violence will only beget violence, leading us down an endless path of retribution. I don't have a problem with this idea, in fact I believe it with all my heart. What bothers me is that in the end, the mouthpiece for this notion is a man who murdered eight people, and is seemingly only concerned with their actual guilt after he feels his family is threatened. And lest we forget, his family is in danger because of his actions. He made a concious choice to murder (whether you call them assassinations or murder, the people in question are still dead) these people, yet Spielberg expects us to have some level of sympathy for him. Sorry, Steven, the character is a scumbag, plain and simple. Murdering for the state is no different than murdering for the mob, or for the guy's rolex, the end result is still the death of another human being. Having a moral issue with it after you have committed the deed is not evidence of a strong character.
If we are trying to make some statement about trying to stop an endless stream of violence, then please have it come from someone not steeped in the blood of others.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Mr Crankypants
There is a lot swirling around in my head at the moment. Some of the randomness.
I have had American Woman on continuous loop on my iPod for two days now.
I have been in a pissy mood for about the same amount of time.
By invading Iraq with no real cause, George Bush has left the US without a viable military option where Iran's nuclear ambitions are concerned. In an election year, there is no way Congress is going to authorize another military action.
Being on the road so much, I forgot about the concept of free time. I am having toruble adjusting to having it.
I am becoming increasingly bitter about my inability to make a living in this town.
I know I have no right to bitch about the above. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's my blog and if you don't like what I have to say, fuck off and read someone else's.
I am perhaps a little cranky this morning.
No one should read anything into the mental diahrea (sp?) above. Just need to write so I can get out of my own head for a bit.
Peace
I have had American Woman on continuous loop on my iPod for two days now.
I have been in a pissy mood for about the same amount of time.
By invading Iraq with no real cause, George Bush has left the US without a viable military option where Iran's nuclear ambitions are concerned. In an election year, there is no way Congress is going to authorize another military action.
Being on the road so much, I forgot about the concept of free time. I am having toruble adjusting to having it.
I am becoming increasingly bitter about my inability to make a living in this town.
I know I have no right to bitch about the above. But I'm going to do it anyway. It's my blog and if you don't like what I have to say, fuck off and read someone else's.
I am perhaps a little cranky this morning.
No one should read anything into the mental diahrea (sp?) above. Just need to write so I can get out of my own head for a bit.
Peace
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
No, I Have Not Died
I have been in tech for Lift at Theatre of the First Amendment since I got back from Orlando. The time with the family last week has generated a lot of thought, but I have not really had time to process it, let alone write about it. More on that later.
Big things have shifted for me on an emotional and psychological level. Some of it is related to the time in Florida (I was there for my Uncle's funeral), some related to my birthday (I am 38 now, for some reason a scary number to me), and some is for reasons I will keep to myself. I will say that I was re-reading a post I wrote over the summer, and it has come back to haunt me in a big way.
So. Happy New Year to all. If I can ever get my brain to slow down long enough for me to write what's in it, there will be more.
I know you are all quivering in .......
anticipation.
Peace in yer crease.
Big things have shifted for me on an emotional and psychological level. Some of it is related to the time in Florida (I was there for my Uncle's funeral), some related to my birthday (I am 38 now, for some reason a scary number to me), and some is for reasons I will keep to myself. I will say that I was re-reading a post I wrote over the summer, and it has come back to haunt me in a big way.
So. Happy New Year to all. If I can ever get my brain to slow down long enough for me to write what's in it, there will be more.
I know you are all quivering in .......
anticipation.
Peace in yer crease.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Home Again
I got back form Orlando this morning.
There is a lot more in my head at the moment, but I am trying to decide how to say it, and whether it should be said at all.
It is good to be home.
There is a lot more in my head at the moment, but I am trying to decide how to say it, and whether it should be said at all.
It is good to be home.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Alaska Time, Or Insomnia?
Either way, it sucks. I have been up for three hours now, and am rapidly approaching the time when I actually have to get out and run some errands. I have to fly to Orlando this afternoon, and have a few things that must be dealt with before I go.
I have in the past day and a half, imported about 2/3 of my CDs into i-Tunes, and thus onto my iPod. I now have two days worth of music. I will be with my family in Florida for three days, so at least I have options for dealing with the insanity. For two days at least.
I love my iPod. It is my constant companion*.
I have no idea whether I will be able to post on the ol blog while I am away down South. I am staying at my Uncle's house (I think), and don't know if there is a shot at an internet connection down there. I also don't know if there will be the opportunity.
I saw King Kong Friday night. It dragged a little in the middle, and I could have lived without the bug scene (I have a bit of a phobia there), but like my blog sis, Lucky Spinster, I cried through the last twenty minutes of the movie. I am usually one of those geeks who sits all the way through the credits anyway, but this time I was forced to so I could avoid having anyone looking at me and being able to tell I was crying. I am a big sap**, what can I say.
As I am going to spend three days with the fam, I decided to go see The Family Stone this afternoon. I figured a comedy about family was just the thing to help lighten the mood for the next three days.
Boy has that movie been mis-marketed. It is billed as a comedy, and there are certainly funny moments, but it deals with some rather serious issues. Issues that at the moment hit a little too close to home for me. I have not read the review in the Post, but was told it was not favorable. I think it is worth a look, although maybe as a rental.***
*That and my fuzzy alligator.
**Actually, I am a girl. At least that is what my close friends keep telling me.
***Do people even rent movies anymore? I think I am the only person on the planet not signed up for Net Flicks.
I have in the past day and a half, imported about 2/3 of my CDs into i-Tunes, and thus onto my iPod. I now have two days worth of music. I will be with my family in Florida for three days, so at least I have options for dealing with the insanity. For two days at least.
I love my iPod. It is my constant companion*.
I have no idea whether I will be able to post on the ol blog while I am away down South. I am staying at my Uncle's house (I think), and don't know if there is a shot at an internet connection down there. I also don't know if there will be the opportunity.
I saw King Kong Friday night. It dragged a little in the middle, and I could have lived without the bug scene (I have a bit of a phobia there), but like my blog sis, Lucky Spinster, I cried through the last twenty minutes of the movie. I am usually one of those geeks who sits all the way through the credits anyway, but this time I was forced to so I could avoid having anyone looking at me and being able to tell I was crying. I am a big sap**, what can I say.
As I am going to spend three days with the fam, I decided to go see The Family Stone this afternoon. I figured a comedy about family was just the thing to help lighten the mood for the next three days.
Boy has that movie been mis-marketed. It is billed as a comedy, and there are certainly funny moments, but it deals with some rather serious issues. Issues that at the moment hit a little too close to home for me. I have not read the review in the Post, but was told it was not favorable. I think it is worth a look, although maybe as a rental.***
*That and my fuzzy alligator.
**Actually, I am a girl. At least that is what my close friends keep telling me.
***Do people even rent movies anymore? I think I am the only person on the planet not signed up for Net Flicks.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
BTW
Happy New Year, everybody.
A cheesy toast, but a nice sentiment:
May the best of your yesterday be the worst of your tomorrow.
Peace
A cheesy toast, but a nice sentiment:
May the best of your yesterday be the worst of your tomorrow.
Peace
Meaning? Or, Sometimes A Light Up Santa With A Trash Can Is Just A...
While driving around L.A. with D last month, we spotted a light up Santa Claus with what appeared to be a light up trash can behind it. My first response was "Perhaps it symbolizes the crass commercialsm behind the holiday season."
Or perhaps it was just a light up Santa with a light up trash can.
I tend to read meaning into a lot of things, both the arrangement of objects, and people's behavior. Being the meglomaniacal person that I am, I often assume people's behaviour is in some way about me.
An example:
As my regular readers know, I have a thing about the return of phone calls. This started as a professional thing. When a phone call is returned can often give you a clue as to where you fall in a colleague's radar. Now that has bled over into my personal life, so that if someone has not called me back, it indicates things to me that it probably shouldn't. I know that people are busy and it's not always about me, but it still bothers me.
I suppose this "trait"* of mine helps explain why I have such a hard time taking the things I am told at face value. Not the negative stuff, or the strictly benign stuff (when someone says "It's four PM." I usually believe them), but I often worry that, in an attempt to not hurt my feelings, people tell me what they think I want to hear.**
This is why I love the Muti-State, Girlie-Advising Posse so much. They tell me when I am being an idiot, much like Feste's foes in Twelfth Night. I would rather be told I am an ass.
There is a point in here somewhere. If you find it, could you tell it I am looking for it?
*You say neurosis, I say trait.
** Further evidence of my meglomania
Or perhaps it was just a light up Santa with a light up trash can.
I tend to read meaning into a lot of things, both the arrangement of objects, and people's behavior. Being the meglomaniacal person that I am, I often assume people's behaviour is in some way about me.
An example:
As my regular readers know, I have a thing about the return of phone calls. This started as a professional thing. When a phone call is returned can often give you a clue as to where you fall in a colleague's radar. Now that has bled over into my personal life, so that if someone has not called me back, it indicates things to me that it probably shouldn't. I know that people are busy and it's not always about me, but it still bothers me.
I suppose this "trait"* of mine helps explain why I have such a hard time taking the things I am told at face value. Not the negative stuff, or the strictly benign stuff (when someone says "It's four PM." I usually believe them), but I often worry that, in an attempt to not hurt my feelings, people tell me what they think I want to hear.**
This is why I love the Muti-State, Girlie-Advising Posse so much. They tell me when I am being an idiot, much like Feste's foes in Twelfth Night. I would rather be told I am an ass.
There is a point in here somewhere. If you find it, could you tell it I am looking for it?
*You say neurosis, I say trait.
** Further evidence of my meglomania
Friday, December 30, 2005
Home Again
There was no plane crash. I made it back home safely. I even managed to be in bed by 2:00 AM. I proceeded to sleep for twelve hours. So much for the productive day I had planned.
I got home to a package from S, which contained Christmas presents. So I put on The Muppets Christmas CD and opened the following:
I got home to a package from S, which contained Christmas presents. So I put on The Muppets Christmas CD and opened the following:
- A feather boa. Not sure what is being said there.
- A new scarf to replace the one I lost in Juneau back in October. This makes two scarves I have been given in the past week.
- A T-shirt that says "Make Levees, Not War."
- A Carmen (you know, the opera by Bizet) finger puppet theatre, wrapped in Devil Ducky paper.
Thanks, dear. Now I feel like I have had a Christmas*.
*Yes, I know I am an atheist, but I love the season, and the idea that surrounds Christmas. Peace on Earth goodwill to all. Who can't stand behind that?
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Number Eleven
"But I could swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul,
was the same, as the one down in mine."
Hedwig and The Angry Inch
was the same, as the one down in mine."
Hedwig and The Angry Inch
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
If You Here Of A Jet Crash On Thursday, It's Probably Me*
On Monday, a baggage worker smacked into an Alaska Airlines jet with one of those conveyor belt thingys at Seattle Tacoma International Airport. He told no one of this, and later, at 26,000 feet (that's almost five miles above the surfave of the earth) a one foot hole opened in the fuselage of the plane, causing the loss of cabin pressure and an emergency landing.
I saw a brief mention of this on CNN, and when I Googled it, found a disturbing amount of incidents involving Alaska Airlines, including a plane crash into the Pacific Ocean that killed 88 people in February of 2000.
Can we guess which airline I am flying on Thursday?
This Fall has been a string of increasingly distressing incidents while flying, and I am beginning to wonder if someone is trying to send me a message. A message like "Stop flying, you fucking idiot."
And because I belive if there is a god, he has a sick sense of humour, and because timing is everything in life, it would be make sense I would die in a plane crash on my way home this time.
I am actually terrified of getting on that plane tomorrow.
* I wonder how many bells are sounding at the NSA** right now as this post is published***.
** NSA: National Security Agency. You know, the folks that have been monitoring our phone calls and emails since 9-11.
*** If you are at the NSA reading this, my wondering about plane crashes is not an indication of nefarious ... (waiting while you get a dictionary)... intent, just an indication of my increasing fatalism.
I saw a brief mention of this on CNN, and when I Googled it, found a disturbing amount of incidents involving Alaska Airlines, including a plane crash into the Pacific Ocean that killed 88 people in February of 2000.
Can we guess which airline I am flying on Thursday?
This Fall has been a string of increasingly distressing incidents while flying, and I am beginning to wonder if someone is trying to send me a message. A message like "Stop flying, you fucking idiot."
And because I belive if there is a god, he has a sick sense of humour, and because timing is everything in life, it would be make sense I would die in a plane crash on my way home this time.
I am actually terrified of getting on that plane tomorrow.
* I wonder how many bells are sounding at the NSA** right now as this post is published***.
** NSA: National Security Agency. You know, the folks that have been monitoring our phone calls and emails since 9-11.
*** If you are at the NSA reading this, my wondering about plane crashes is not an indication of nefarious ... (waiting while you get a dictionary)... intent, just an indication of my increasing fatalism.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Happy Holidays
I was going to write this post filled with self-pity about how much it sucks spending most of Christmas alone in a hotel room thousands of miles away from friends and family, but then I read this. Seems the desire to do something nice for someone else, without reciprocation, does still exist in the world.
I hope all of you have a safe and joyous holiday season.
I hope all of you have a safe and joyous holiday season.
Are We The Least Bit Surprised By This?
| Frodo You scored 40% Sturdyness, 60% Influence, 16% Supernatural, and 11% Evil! |
| You are Frodo Baggins, the Ring Bearer and chosen one. You are courageous and passionate about the heavy burden that has been laid upon you, but even though you get into trouble a lot, you have good friends (like Sam) to help you through. Not counting your size and strength, and the devouring power of the Ring, your abilities will get you far! |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The LOTR Character Test written by NoxTyger on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Funny Photos: An Experiment
Yes, this is in fact East Coast Alaska GirlWith a basket on her head.
I have no idea why the picture has been reproduced so many times. But I have figured out how to post pictures here on the ol blog.
You have been warned.
On Why Juneau Is The Weirdest Place On Earth
Our run of Hedwig (which we are mounting in a bar out by the airport) is only two weeks long because the following weekend the bar is presenting midget wrestling, billed as Half Pint Brawlers.
The Western Union is in the local head shop/ sex toy shop.
I couldn't make this shit up.
The Western Union is in the local head shop/ sex toy shop.
I couldn't make this shit up.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Beauty And Oddness
I am in Juneau, Alaska, remounting the production of Hedwig and The Angry Inch that I designed here last season. I had forgotten how much I love this show. It is hard, and bitter, and lonely, and beautiful, and, ultimately, re-affirming. I know so many people (myself included) who have lived through the same experience, searching for identity in an increasingly confusing world, seeking love and acceptance, both from others and ourselves. Hedwig is a freak, an outward representation of the freak I suspect we all feel on the inside. Her search for herself, and the other half she lost is painful to watch, but in the end provides the hope we will all find what we are looking for.
Last season I worked on two shows here that dealt with being outsiders, and the consequences of that status. One of those shows was Hedwig, the other was columbinus. I am struck by the different paths feeling on the outside leads. In one case, it leads to creative acts, in the other (and based on history) it leads to death and destruction. I suppose the difference is that despite her marginilization, Hedwig still believes in love. I wonder at what point Harris and Klebold stopped hoping for it. As I have searched for answers to the question of why they acted the way the did, that they despaired at ever loving or being loved is the only reason I can come up with. It is the only reason I can accept.
On to other things.
I had also forgotten how much I love this production of this show. I sat through a run through this afternoon, and was crying at the end. In a good way. The cast is amazing, and I believe it's some of the best work I have ever done. I will be sorry to leave this one behind.
The week has been one of a lot of emotional upheavel (sp?). I had the rather unpleasant experience of facing my mortality very up close and personal. I realized I am not ready to go gently. Still too much to do.
Other upheavals have been profound changes in the lives of some people very close to me. Of probably greatest note, S, one of the founders of the MSGAP, is getting married.
Yeah.
Peace in yer crease.
Last season I worked on two shows here that dealt with being outsiders, and the consequences of that status. One of those shows was Hedwig, the other was columbinus. I am struck by the different paths feeling on the outside leads. In one case, it leads to creative acts, in the other (and based on history) it leads to death and destruction. I suppose the difference is that despite her marginilization, Hedwig still believes in love. I wonder at what point Harris and Klebold stopped hoping for it. As I have searched for answers to the question of why they acted the way the did, that they despaired at ever loving or being loved is the only reason I can come up with. It is the only reason I can accept.
On to other things.
I had also forgotten how much I love this production of this show. I sat through a run through this afternoon, and was crying at the end. In a good way. The cast is amazing, and I believe it's some of the best work I have ever done. I will be sorry to leave this one behind.
The week has been one of a lot of emotional upheavel (sp?). I had the rather unpleasant experience of facing my mortality very up close and personal. I realized I am not ready to go gently. Still too much to do.
Other upheavals have been profound changes in the lives of some people very close to me. Of probably greatest note, S, one of the founders of the MSGAP, is getting married.
Yeah.
Peace in yer crease.
Monday, December 19, 2005
"And, We're Back In The Car Again"
For those of you wondering, I made it to Juneau safely, though I had my doubts going in and out of Seattle.
Although I hate take-off and landing, I have never seriously been fearful for my life in an airplane. That is until yesterday. The wind was so strong around Seattle that right as our plane was touching down we were blown to the side and bounced several times on the runway. The pilot was able to maintain control and we eventually stopped sliding back and forth across the tarmac, but in those moments I had to face whether or not I felt ready to die.
The answer came back a resounding no.
On to happier thoughts.
Saturday I went with City Mouse to see the panda cub at the National Zoo. Though he spent the duration of our ten minute visit with him sleeping in a bowl, he is still pretty darned adorable. And I found myself wishing I could spend some time curled up in a bowl napping.
There are other thoughts, but I am out of time.
Peace in yer crease, ya'll.
Although I hate take-off and landing, I have never seriously been fearful for my life in an airplane. That is until yesterday. The wind was so strong around Seattle that right as our plane was touching down we were blown to the side and bounced several times on the runway. The pilot was able to maintain control and we eventually stopped sliding back and forth across the tarmac, but in those moments I had to face whether or not I felt ready to die.
The answer came back a resounding no.
On to happier thoughts.
Saturday I went with City Mouse to see the panda cub at the National Zoo. Though he spent the duration of our ten minute visit with him sleeping in a bowl, he is still pretty darned adorable. And I found myself wishing I could spend some time curled up in a bowl napping.
There are other thoughts, but I am out of time.
Peace in yer crease, ya'll.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Ups And Downs
At a certain point this evening, I turned to D, the designer I am assisiting here in LA, and said, "could you be on headset for awhile?" This marked the end of my giving a rat's crap about the show this evening. I lasted almost the whole day, but about twenty minutes from the end of rehearsal, I just couldn't take it any more.
At two seperate times, D restrained me from getting back on headset.
The show has not been going well. The stage manager* has not been able to call the show correctly** yet, some of the lights for the show have yet to turn on, and we have an audience at 10:30 AM tommorrow (actually today as I type this).
I am on my tenth show of the season and I have been in tech since the 7th of October. I am weary as I have seldom been before. I am ready to be home for awhile; to see friends and family, and maybe enjoy an evening in my own apartment.
But that is the negative stuff. I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I feel incredibly blessed. I work at the thing I love, and people pay me to do it. Tonight I watched 60 children dance in ant costumes with drums on their butts. It is too cute for words.
I also saw Tim Robbins in the hotel bar this evening.
The best part of my evening, I will keep to myself.
And special thanks to those who have called in the past few days. I really appreciate hearing from you.
Peace in yer crease.
*The person who is supposed to run rehearsals and help the artistic staff realize their vision for the show.
** ensuring that all the changes, whether they be lighting, sound scenery, or something else, happen when they are supposed to happen.
At two seperate times, D restrained me from getting back on headset.
The show has not been going well. The stage manager* has not been able to call the show correctly** yet, some of the lights for the show have yet to turn on, and we have an audience at 10:30 AM tommorrow (actually today as I type this).
I am on my tenth show of the season and I have been in tech since the 7th of October. I am weary as I have seldom been before. I am ready to be home for awhile; to see friends and family, and maybe enjoy an evening in my own apartment.
But that is the negative stuff. I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I feel incredibly blessed. I work at the thing I love, and people pay me to do it. Tonight I watched 60 children dance in ant costumes with drums on their butts. It is too cute for words.
I also saw Tim Robbins in the hotel bar this evening.
The best part of my evening, I will keep to myself.
And special thanks to those who have called in the past few days. I really appreciate hearing from you.
Peace in yer crease.
*The person who is supposed to run rehearsals and help the artistic staff realize their vision for the show.
** ensuring that all the changes, whether they be lighting, sound scenery, or something else, happen when they are supposed to happen.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Funniest Conversation So Far in California
I was having dinner with BR, one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, and her husband. They were asking me questions about the shows I was working on, and I was going on about the dancing elephant at Children's Theatre Company.
LD: " Sometimes there is nothing happier than a dancing elephant."
BR: "Or maybe you just need to have sex."
Yeah. I got nothing.
LD: " Sometimes there is nothing happier than a dancing elephant."
BR: "Or maybe you just need to have sex."
Yeah. I got nothing.
I Couldn't Make This Up
The room I am staying in at the Culver Hotel is the Clark Gable Room.
There is a 24x36 framed photo of Clark staring down at the bed. It's a little disturbing.
There is a 24x36 framed photo of Clark staring down at the bed. It's a little disturbing.
Friday, December 09, 2005
On The Holidays, And Getting Older
Not much posting lately. I have been in tech* for Alice at the Kennedy Center this week. I have also been taking advantage of working in my home town and attempting to have a life outside of work. It has been nice, but has left little time for the old blog.
For the second time this week, it has snowed in Washington. When I still drove, the appearance of snow used to really annoy me. It meant delays and all sorts of tomfoolery on the road. Now that I walk everywhere, I love the snow. There is something delightfully romantic about traipsing about the city while the little white flakes swirl around you. I was positivly giddy on monday, stopping several times to catch snowflakes on my tongue, and fighting hard the urge to lay down in the sidewalk and make a snow angel.
I have started my Christmas shopping, an activity I had all but ended for several years due to financial concerns. It is nice to actually have a little coin in hand to be able to get presents for some of the important people in my life.
I will be spending Christmas in Juneau, Alaska. I am glad that I have close friends there (like East Coast Alaska Girl) to spend time with. The notion of spending Christmas in a hotel room is too crappy for words. I will be home for New Years, which for various reasons I am really excited about.
In a little less than a month, I will turn 38. That's awfully close to 40. I am not one of those people who believes you must have achieved some laundry list by each age marker, but I am more and more aware of the things in my life that are not as permanent as they once seemed. Two years ago my mother went through a bout with breast cancer, and it was the first time I had really come face to face with the very real possibility I will have to deal with the loss of my parents. I was not ready for that then, and I don't think I am any more ready for it now.
One of the other things my impending birthday has had me contemplating has been my relationship with my brother, and somewhat more importantly, his kids. Outside of our parents, my brother and I really share very little in common. We don't have the same interests or even the same values. When we get together, there is nothing for us to talk about except the past. As a consequence, I have avoided most contact with my brother and his family, and have been all but absent from the lives of my niece and nephew as they have been growing up.
I have started to realize how selfish that has been. A child often does not understand the rifts that occur between adults. I am afraid that they think I don't love them, which is certainly not the case, and so am trying to slowly become a part of their lives. But maybe that is just selfish too.
Really what this is probably about is rather uncomfortable feelings regarding my own mortality. Almost 40, and I am statistically more than halfway through my life. I would rather not die with regrets.
For the second time this week, it has snowed in Washington. When I still drove, the appearance of snow used to really annoy me. It meant delays and all sorts of tomfoolery on the road. Now that I walk everywhere, I love the snow. There is something delightfully romantic about traipsing about the city while the little white flakes swirl around you. I was positivly giddy on monday, stopping several times to catch snowflakes on my tongue, and fighting hard the urge to lay down in the sidewalk and make a snow angel.
I have started my Christmas shopping, an activity I had all but ended for several years due to financial concerns. It is nice to actually have a little coin in hand to be able to get presents for some of the important people in my life.
I will be spending Christmas in Juneau, Alaska. I am glad that I have close friends there (like East Coast Alaska Girl) to spend time with. The notion of spending Christmas in a hotel room is too crappy for words. I will be home for New Years, which for various reasons I am really excited about.
In a little less than a month, I will turn 38. That's awfully close to 40. I am not one of those people who believes you must have achieved some laundry list by each age marker, but I am more and more aware of the things in my life that are not as permanent as they once seemed. Two years ago my mother went through a bout with breast cancer, and it was the first time I had really come face to face with the very real possibility I will have to deal with the loss of my parents. I was not ready for that then, and I don't think I am any more ready for it now.
One of the other things my impending birthday has had me contemplating has been my relationship with my brother, and somewhat more importantly, his kids. Outside of our parents, my brother and I really share very little in common. We don't have the same interests or even the same values. When we get together, there is nothing for us to talk about except the past. As a consequence, I have avoided most contact with my brother and his family, and have been all but absent from the lives of my niece and nephew as they have been growing up.
I have started to realize how selfish that has been. A child often does not understand the rifts that occur between adults. I am afraid that they think I don't love them, which is certainly not the case, and so am trying to slowly become a part of their lives. But maybe that is just selfish too.
Really what this is probably about is rather uncomfortable feelings regarding my own mortality. Almost 40, and I am statistically more than halfway through my life. I would rather not die with regrets.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I Can't Write About...
...what is really on my mind at the moment. Somewhat frustrating, but there you have it.
It relates to the solving of my conundrum, and a timing issue.
I am not sure whether I am being sensible and level headed, or just avoiding the issue. Problem is, by avoiding the issue, it may go away in a way I don't want.
How's that for effing cryptic?
It relates to the solving of my conundrum, and a timing issue.
I am not sure whether I am being sensible and level headed, or just avoiding the issue. Problem is, by avoiding the issue, it may go away in a way I don't want.
How's that for effing cryptic?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Random Wednesday Musings
Too much rattling around in my head at the moment to even attempt a coherent entry*, so just a bunch of pot shots.
I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with this show. I can't wait to get home.
A message for politicians of all stripes: Creating jobs is not the same as providing economic opportunity.
S the originator of the Multi-State, Girlie Advising Posse, sent me a link to her blog. I will wait for her permission to link to it, but I am, as always, impressed with her insights into herself and those around her. And since I know she is reading, Christmas won't be the same without you, either.
I go to LA in two weeks. BR, one of the MSGAP lives there, so hopefully we will be able to catch up.
The return of my crypticness** has been noted by some. Hopefully soon that will cease, though there still may be no explanation given here.
How is it that in the almost two thousand years since the writings about Jesus, we still have not grasped the fundamental message. I don't belive in the divinity of Jesus, but I do believe in his ideas. We are responsible for the well being of those we share the world with. Living according to the letter of the law is not the same as leading a moral life. Peace and forgiveness. Self sacrifice for the greater good.
Up until the end of the day yesterday, I was a pretty big ball of negative energy for about four days. My thanks to those who bore the brunt of that, and my apologies.
Have I mentioned how much I love my iPod. It's like crack. I just can't stop.
For all my bitching the past couple of days, I am as happy as I have ever been. I know am the luckiest guy alive.
*I know, I know. Most of you are still awaiting the emergence of this coherentness.***
** Is that even a word?
*** Or that?
I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with this show. I can't wait to get home.
A message for politicians of all stripes: Creating jobs is not the same as providing economic opportunity.
S the originator of the Multi-State, Girlie Advising Posse, sent me a link to her blog. I will wait for her permission to link to it, but I am, as always, impressed with her insights into herself and those around her. And since I know she is reading, Christmas won't be the same without you, either.
I go to LA in two weeks. BR, one of the MSGAP lives there, so hopefully we will be able to catch up.
The return of my crypticness** has been noted by some. Hopefully soon that will cease, though there still may be no explanation given here.
How is it that in the almost two thousand years since the writings about Jesus, we still have not grasped the fundamental message. I don't belive in the divinity of Jesus, but I do believe in his ideas. We are responsible for the well being of those we share the world with. Living according to the letter of the law is not the same as leading a moral life. Peace and forgiveness. Self sacrifice for the greater good.
Up until the end of the day yesterday, I was a pretty big ball of negative energy for about four days. My thanks to those who bore the brunt of that, and my apologies.
Have I mentioned how much I love my iPod. It's like crack. I just can't stop.
For all my bitching the past couple of days, I am as happy as I have ever been. I know am the luckiest guy alive.
*I know, I know. Most of you are still awaiting the emergence of this coherentness.***
** Is that even a word?
*** Or that?
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
And Still More Movie Quotes
Marcus: “I’ve been meaning to ask you. What’s the difference between a girl who’s just your friend, and a girlfriend?”
Will: “Well, I don’t know. Do you want to touch her?”
Marcus: “Is that so important?”
Will: “You’ve heard of sex, right? It’s sort of a big deal in a relationship.”
Marcus: “I know. I just can’t believe there isn’t more to it than that. I mean, I want to be with her. I want to be with her all the time. And I want to tell her things I don’t even tell you or Mom. I don’t want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all that, I wouldn’t care if I touched her.”
About A Boy
Will: “Well, I don’t know. Do you want to touch her?”
Marcus: “Is that so important?”
Will: “You’ve heard of sex, right? It’s sort of a big deal in a relationship.”
Marcus: “I know. I just can’t believe there isn’t more to it than that. I mean, I want to be with her. I want to be with her all the time. And I want to tell her things I don’t even tell you or Mom. I don’t want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all that, I wouldn’t care if I touched her.”
About A Boy
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Three Wishes?
Last week, I was in Minneapolis working on a production of Disney's Aladdin. We all know the story, Aladdin finds a lamp, out pops a genie who grants Al three wishes.
It started me thinking, if I could wish for three things, and have them be true, what would I wish for?
1. That I could sing as well as Bing Crosby.
2. That I could dance as well as Fred Astaire.
3. That empathy was an inate human quality.
What would you wish for?
It started me thinking, if I could wish for three things, and have them be true, what would I wish for?
1. That I could sing as well as Bing Crosby.
2. That I could dance as well as Fred Astaire.
3. That empathy was an inate human quality.
What would you wish for?
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
I Am An Asshole
My conundrum has led me to do to someone else something I hate having done to me. In the time I have been figuring out what to do, I have left someone to wonder.
If you are still reading, I am very sorry.
If you are still reading, I am very sorry.
Another Mastercard Moment
30 GB iPod: $300.00
Music downloaded from i-Tunes: $45.00
Five hour plane ride unable to hear the screaming children seated directly behind you: Priceless
Music downloaded from i-Tunes: $45.00
Five hour plane ride unable to hear the screaming children seated directly behind you: Priceless
Monday, November 21, 2005
A New Member Of The Posse
East Coast Alaska Girl has now become an official member of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Seeing Ourselves
There are two people in my life right now who are dealing with the aftermath of ending relationships. I won't share details, (they are not mine to share), but the thing I find in common about these two women and their situations, is how much each are questioning themselves, not just in terms of the relationship, but their whole lives. Questioning and doubting.
What I find frustrating about this is that neither of them are able to see themselves the way I do. Both are funny, intelligent, beautiful, vibrant, sexy women who have so much to offer the world, and also to any man lucky enough to be worthy of them. They are both extraodinary human beings.*
If I can see that, why can't they.
*I am priviliged to surround myself with fantastic people who make me a better person because they are my friends.
What I find frustrating about this is that neither of them are able to see themselves the way I do. Both are funny, intelligent, beautiful, vibrant, sexy women who have so much to offer the world, and also to any man lucky enough to be worthy of them. They are both extraodinary human beings.*
If I can see that, why can't they.
*I am priviliged to surround myself with fantastic people who make me a better person because they are my friends.
An Open Letter To The US Press
Take two hours of your day, go to the movie theatre, and see Good Night and Good Luck. Pay very close attention to Murrow's speech at the beginning and end of the film. Take it to heart, and go put it into action.
The Fourth Estate exists to protect the governed from their government. We as citizens lack the access to our public officials to ask the questions that so desperately need to be asked. I cannot stand up and ask the President, point blank, whether intellegence was doctored to justify the invasion of Iraq, or whether he truly believes torture is an acceptable option to obtain information from prisoners.
I cannot advocate for a government that is accountable to the people. I cannot pry into the corners to assure that those in power are using that power responsibly. I cannot bring to task those who line their pockets at the expense of the lives and welfare of others.
You can.
And you must.
The Fourth Estate exists to protect the governed from their government. We as citizens lack the access to our public officials to ask the questions that so desperately need to be asked. I cannot stand up and ask the President, point blank, whether intellegence was doctored to justify the invasion of Iraq, or whether he truly believes torture is an acceptable option to obtain information from prisoners.
I cannot advocate for a government that is accountable to the people. I cannot pry into the corners to assure that those in power are using that power responsibly. I cannot bring to task those who line their pockets at the expense of the lives and welfare of others.
You can.
And you must.
Friday, November 18, 2005
The Show Is Open
We opened Disney's Aladdin this evening. The show went off without a hitch, and the writing flaws not withstanding, the audience had a wonderful time.
Despite my maudlin posts over the past two weeks, the experience here with the staff at Children's Theatre Company has been one of utter delight. Everyone involved in the whole process has been positive, upbeat, co-operative and professional. My followspot operators were the best I have ever had. I have been spoiled. I would return here to do another show in a heartbeat.
The best part of all: They gave the elephant a bio in the program.
Despite my maudlin posts over the past two weeks, the experience here with the staff at Children's Theatre Company has been one of utter delight. Everyone involved in the whole process has been positive, upbeat, co-operative and professional. My followspot operators were the best I have ever had. I have been spoiled. I would return here to do another show in a heartbeat.
The best part of all: They gave the elephant a bio in the program.
My Last Posts
The zoological nature of my last few posts does not in any way indicate a shift in the focus of The Lighting Designer's Life. I will soon post more whining drivel about my personal life (or lack thereof) and projeccts I am working on. Don't you worry.
Last Night
After some gut wrenching, soul searching debate, they decided not to cut the elephant from the show.
And last night, it danced. Shook it's money maker. Got down with it's own bad self.
I was giddy with delight.
Sometimes, you just need a dancing elephant.
And last night, it danced. Shook it's money maker. Got down with it's own bad self.
I was giddy with delight.
Sometimes, you just need a dancing elephant.
Oddest Thing Seen In Minneapolis
A man walking through downtown at 9:oo AM carrying a 3 foot tall kangaroo.
I couldn't make that up if I tried.
I couldn't make that up if I tried.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Random Wednesday Musings
I have not been posting much lately, not because I don't have anything to talk about, but because most of what is on my mind I don't really want to share with the general public.
The show had it's first preview last night. The audience seemed to love it. And the orchestra was fantastic.
It snowed here last night.
We had Rain Man driving our cab last night. "I'm an excellent driver."
Heard my first Christmas songs of the season on the radio. Surprisingly (sp?), I was not annoyed, but somewhat warmed by it.
I am feeling rootless, especially as the holidays approach. I have been walking by the Crate and Barrel every couple of days, and their displays all say "Gather and Prepare". I miss having people to gather with, to prepare for. I will spend Thanksgiving in California, and Christmas in Alaska, so it is not as if I would be around to do any preparing or gathering anyway, but I would like it to be an option*. Maybe I am just feeling lonely.
This will be the first Christmas in five years I have not spent with S.
A couple of months ago, Lucky Spinster asked me why I had never come to Wing Night, and my response was "Because I have never been invited." It came out way snottier than I had intended, so I had to explain. I was raised by a Southern woman, with Southern manners. You do not just show up somewhere without an invitation. It is not polite. LS proceeded to give me an open invitation to Wing Night (although she has now done away with it, that tease). I have been wondering lately if I would feel less lonely if I were more able to invite myself places. I just don't want to be that guy, you know?
* I have recieved two invitations for Thanksgiving. I just miss hosting large groups, spending a long day with people I love. The people I love either have family thay spend the holidays with, or they live out of town. And this foot note is turning into it's own post, so i will stop. I might expound on this more later.
The show had it's first preview last night. The audience seemed to love it. And the orchestra was fantastic.
It snowed here last night.
We had Rain Man driving our cab last night. "I'm an excellent driver."
Heard my first Christmas songs of the season on the radio. Surprisingly (sp?), I was not annoyed, but somewhat warmed by it.
I am feeling rootless, especially as the holidays approach. I have been walking by the Crate and Barrel every couple of days, and their displays all say "Gather and Prepare". I miss having people to gather with, to prepare for. I will spend Thanksgiving in California, and Christmas in Alaska, so it is not as if I would be around to do any preparing or gathering anyway, but I would like it to be an option*. Maybe I am just feeling lonely.
This will be the first Christmas in five years I have not spent with S.
A couple of months ago, Lucky Spinster asked me why I had never come to Wing Night, and my response was "Because I have never been invited." It came out way snottier than I had intended, so I had to explain. I was raised by a Southern woman, with Southern manners. You do not just show up somewhere without an invitation. It is not polite. LS proceeded to give me an open invitation to Wing Night (although she has now done away with it, that tease). I have been wondering lately if I would feel less lonely if I were more able to invite myself places. I just don't want to be that guy, you know?
* I have recieved two invitations for Thanksgiving. I just miss hosting large groups, spending a long day with people I love. The people I love either have family thay spend the holidays with, or they live out of town. And this foot note is turning into it's own post, so i will stop. I might expound on this more later.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Tooting My Own Horn*
I got a mention in a Potomac Stages review.
Production values are almost never mentioned in reviews in DC, so I am happy to have the mention at all.
And yes, I do design scenery as well.
* Does anyone else think that sounds dirty?
Production values are almost never mentioned in reviews in DC, so I am happy to have the mention at all.
And yes, I do design scenery as well.
* Does anyone else think that sounds dirty?
Saturday, November 12, 2005
If I Were Inclined To Get A Graduate Degree
| You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts) |
 You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker. |
I Am Not Up To The Task
It is times like this I wish I was a better writer. If were, if I had the ability to articulate a point of view clearly, cleanly and concisely, I might be able to convince George W Bush that his thinking on pretty much every issue is completely incorrect.
Issue one: In a Vetran's Day speech yesterday, the President contended that the Democrats asking questions about whether or not his administration had used false intelligence to justify the invasion of Iraq was, "deeply irresponsible".
"The stakes in the global war on terror are too high, and the national interest is too important, for politicians to throw out false charges," Mr. Bush said. "These baseless attacks send the wrong signal to our troops and to an enemy that is questioning America's will. As our troops fight a ruthless enemy determined to destroy our way of life, they deserve to know that their elected leaders who voted to send them to war continue to stand behind them."*
Huh?
How is asking whether we have committed troops into harm's way on false pretenses in any way sending the message to our troops that their elected officials do not stand behind them? How do you spin that? To me, that seems to be the greatest show of support.
And let me say the thing that no other liberal seems to be willing to say out loud. For all the people on the extreme right posturing about "un patriotic Americans" who openly question the "war on terror", the President has committed the greatest unpatriotic act. He has lied to the American people, and the entire world community, and used our armed forces for purposes that have nothing to do with defending this country.
It is the President, and his administration, who are betraying the United States, by willfully disregarding the ideals we as a nation were founded on.
A note on this "ruthless enemy determined to destrory our way of life." Intelligent, college educated people do not fly planes into buildings over idealogical differences. This is not about not believing in the freedom of speech, or the protection against unwarranted search and seizure. It is not even about hatred of western religion. They do it because they live in a place being adversely effected by US policies, and violent action is the only way to get our attention. These are people who have suffered as few of us could comprehend, people who have watched economic sanctions starve their children. Who have seen the US meddle in their local affairs for no other reason than the protection of US financial interests. I do not condon the loss of innocent life, but it is time for us to realize that to a certain extent, we are simply reaping what we have sown.
The use of violent acts to attempt to change policy has a long history. There would be no Republic of Ireland except for armed resistance. And lest we forget, one of the events celebrated in history classes around the nation as a milestone in the US struggle for independance, the Boston Tea Party, was itself an act of terrorism.
There is much more to say on this, but it will have to wait
Issue one: In a Vetran's Day speech yesterday, the President contended that the Democrats asking questions about whether or not his administration had used false intelligence to justify the invasion of Iraq was, "deeply irresponsible".
"The stakes in the global war on terror are too high, and the national interest is too important, for politicians to throw out false charges," Mr. Bush said. "These baseless attacks send the wrong signal to our troops and to an enemy that is questioning America's will. As our troops fight a ruthless enemy determined to destroy our way of life, they deserve to know that their elected leaders who voted to send them to war continue to stand behind them."*
Huh?
How is asking whether we have committed troops into harm's way on false pretenses in any way sending the message to our troops that their elected officials do not stand behind them? How do you spin that? To me, that seems to be the greatest show of support.
And let me say the thing that no other liberal seems to be willing to say out loud. For all the people on the extreme right posturing about "un patriotic Americans" who openly question the "war on terror", the President has committed the greatest unpatriotic act. He has lied to the American people, and the entire world community, and used our armed forces for purposes that have nothing to do with defending this country.
It is the President, and his administration, who are betraying the United States, by willfully disregarding the ideals we as a nation were founded on.
A note on this "ruthless enemy determined to destrory our way of life." Intelligent, college educated people do not fly planes into buildings over idealogical differences. This is not about not believing in the freedom of speech, or the protection against unwarranted search and seizure. It is not even about hatred of western religion. They do it because they live in a place being adversely effected by US policies, and violent action is the only way to get our attention. These are people who have suffered as few of us could comprehend, people who have watched economic sanctions starve their children. Who have seen the US meddle in their local affairs for no other reason than the protection of US financial interests. I do not condon the loss of innocent life, but it is time for us to realize that to a certain extent, we are simply reaping what we have sown.
The use of violent acts to attempt to change policy has a long history. There would be no Republic of Ireland except for armed resistance. And lest we forget, one of the events celebrated in history classes around the nation as a milestone in the US struggle for independance, the Boston Tea Party, was itself an act of terrorism.
There is much more to say on this, but it will have to wait
Friday, November 11, 2005
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Things Accomplished Today
Finally found my stride at the theatre. Sleeping helps.
Made a decision about my conundrum.
Took a photo of the elephant costume in it's storage place off-stage right; flown up about eight feet off the deck.
Yes folks, we have flying elephants.
Made a decision about my conundrum.
Took a photo of the elephant costume in it's storage place off-stage right; flown up about eight feet off the deck.
Yes folks, we have flying elephants.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Finding My Niche
I have been having trouble settling into a groove here. Normally, an assistant is either someone brought in by the designer, or someone with a staff position at the theatre. I am neither. I did not get the paperwork for the show until the day before I came here, so I don't have a firm grasp on the way the designer has organized her information. I am also unfamiliar with CTC's operating procedures, so I don't know what the dynamic usually is, or even where to go to get things (I was here for a whole day before I even knew how to get onto the stage).
The consequence of all of this is I have not been feeling on my game. And I hate that. While I am never sure of myself in almost any other aspect of my life, the one place I always feel like I know what I am doing is the theatre.
As City Mouse pointed out, it is probably good for me to get rattled around every once in a while. Keeps me honest, and hopefully softens that whole arrogant prick thing I have going.
The other odd thing about the situation here is that I have absolutely no emotional investment in the project. I am nervous about doing a good job, but that has more to do with where I am working and with whom. I am ambivilant about the show itself. I am working just to work and that is not a place I like to be.
And that is the reason I probably will never have a career in commercial theatre. I am not someone who can be passionate about just collecting a check. For me to be at my best, I have to have an emotional investment in the project as a whole, not just my part of it.
Perhaps that is why I really have not been feeling on my game here.
The consequence of all of this is I have not been feeling on my game. And I hate that. While I am never sure of myself in almost any other aspect of my life, the one place I always feel like I know what I am doing is the theatre.
As City Mouse pointed out, it is probably good for me to get rattled around every once in a while. Keeps me honest, and hopefully softens that whole arrogant prick thing I have going.
The other odd thing about the situation here is that I have absolutely no emotional investment in the project. I am nervous about doing a good job, but that has more to do with where I am working and with whom. I am ambivilant about the show itself. I am working just to work and that is not a place I like to be.
And that is the reason I probably will never have a career in commercial theatre. I am not someone who can be passionate about just collecting a check. For me to be at my best, I have to have an emotional investment in the project as a whole, not just my part of it.
Perhaps that is why I really have not been feeling on my game here.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I May Convert To Scientology
Cause those Scientology women are hot.
At least the ones in Minneapolis.
At least the ones in Minneapolis.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Job Listing
In case you know anyone looking for a job, the Church of Scientology in downtown Minneapolis is hiring.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Why I Love My Job
This evening, while watching the run through of Aladdin, I got to watch two men in an elephant costume dance.
It just doesn't get any better than that.
It just doesn't get any better than that.
Why I Now Hate Flying More.
As most of you know, I hate to fly, but my terror is generally confined to the take-off and landing portion of the exercise. Something like 95% of all air crashes occur during take-off and landing, so if I can get through that, I feel like I have pretty much beaten the odds (even my luck isn't that bad)
Now imagine you are on a flight to Chicago, cruising along at 28,000 feet (that's five miles above the surface of the earth). Now imagine the fasten seatbelt sign turns on and the plane suddenly dives down 14,000 feet in the span of about two minutes. Let me say that again.
The plane dives down 14,000 feet in the span of about two minutes. That's almost three miles.
Finally the pilot comes on the loudspeaker to tell us our sudden change in altitude was because they were unable to keep the cbin at pressure at the height we were travelling.
In plain English, what that means is there was a leak somehwere blowing the air out of the cabin.
Have I mentioned I hate to fly.
I am safe in Minneapolis, BTW.
Now imagine you are on a flight to Chicago, cruising along at 28,000 feet (that's five miles above the surface of the earth). Now imagine the fasten seatbelt sign turns on and the plane suddenly dives down 14,000 feet in the span of about two minutes. Let me say that again.
The plane dives down 14,000 feet in the span of about two minutes. That's almost three miles.
Finally the pilot comes on the loudspeaker to tell us our sudden change in altitude was because they were unable to keep the cbin at pressure at the height we were travelling.
In plain English, what that means is there was a leak somehwere blowing the air out of the cabin.
Have I mentioned I hate to fly.
I am safe in Minneapolis, BTW.
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