Unintended Hiatus

I have not been on the blog in a bit. Things have been busy with finishing drawings, elevations and models for a couple of shows. Also with a bit of Production Management for Georgetown's Health Services department and their new student orientation program.

I also have not been blogging lately because I have been much less than productive in the studio over the past month. Partly for the reasons mentioned above, partly because my classes at Corcoran ended, partly because for the past two weeks I was cat sitting and thus not able to paint (oil paint + cat fur = ugly mess on the canvas (and the cat)). But mostly because I have been caught in a cycle of depression and anxiety.

I am still looking for a job, which is becoming more and more stressful as we roll into fall and the last of my theatrical projects, and thus the last of my projected income, are within shouting distance. I was also unduly impacted by the news of Robin Williams' suicide. I spent far more time reading about it online than was good for my own mental health.

But the past month has not been all gloom and doom. The project at Georgetown meant working again with some great, fun people whom I adore. I actually managed to get to the Building Museum and go through the giant maze before it closed. And although the artistic output has been slowed, it hasn't stopped altogether. I have managed to get a little graphite on paper here and there and the results have seemed to show some improvement.

Reclining Nude

Pencil on paper.

This was a twenty minute drawing done a couple of weeks ago. I was at an odd angle to the model which had the advantage of being slightly behind her face, and thus didn't have to stress about drawing it (something I am still struggling with). The downside was the left arm was strangely foreshortened and doesn't look quite natural on the page.

The cat has gone home to my dad, so I am free to paint again, so hopefully I will have more to show soon. Although I am going into tech this weekend, so the posting may be a bit light over the next week or so.

Peace in yer crease.

Mr Williams

Man goes to the doctor, says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead seems vague and uncertain.

Doctor says "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him, that should pick your spirits up."

The man bursts into tears and cries "But doctor, I am Pagliacci."

I am deeply saddened by the news of Robin William's suicide. He was a unique genius and I mourn the loss of all that could have been had he remained with us. My sympathies go out to his friends and family. Losing someone suddenly is hard, but I think never more so than in these circumstances. So many questions which will never receive an answer.

I did not know much about his struggles with depression, although I remember him speaking candidly about his addictions to drugs and alcohol. In retrospect I suppose I am not that surprised. My experience has been that many with substance abuse issues also struggle with mental health issues.

I don't know what drove his decision to end his own life, but I think labeling it as "losing his battle with depression" over- simplifies a very complex set of questions. It also suggests that he had no right to do so. A 2005 Pew Research poll showed that 84% of Americans were in favor of "Right To Die" laws. If he had an inoperable brain tumor and took his own life, would we be saying he had no right to make that choice for himself?  Would we be demanding he spend his remaining days in terrible suffering?

Depression is insidious, and I am by no means suggesting that we do nothing to help save people who have come to a place where they see suicide as their only option. I just think people's right to make that decision should not be so easily dismissed when it comes to someone struggling with mental illness. The pain and anguish are just as real as someone suffering from cancer, and failure to acknowledge that just serves to further the stigma of mental health issues and make it more difficult for people to seek help.

I hope that Robin has finally found the peace he was seeking.

Peace in yer crease.

Direct Painting

I produced the work below in a single session, in my Tuesday evening painting class.

                                                                                          Study. Still Life With Oranges & Limes
                                                                                          Oil on canvas board.
                                                                                          20" w x 16" h

We had spent the first couple of class sessions working through the basic steps of indirect painting. Producing a line drawing that we then introduced value into. Transferring that drawing to canvas (in that incarnation by rubbing charcoal on the back of our drawing, setting it against the canvas and going over the lines with a pencil which left a trace of the drawing in charcoal on the surface of the canvas) and then doing a grayscale painting of the forms. The latest step was then painting color over the greyscale.

The painting above was our first foray into direct painting in class, although I had been experimenting with it on my own off and on for a couple of months. We began by drawing in the outlines with a very thin Burnt Umber, using the brush similar to a piece of charcoal. Then we filled in the broad strokes of the background followed by the table top, the bowl and finally the fruit. Then came lots and lots of refining, dealing with the shading of the various objects.

The first thing I struggled with was using a paintbrush to draw. The bowl especially is a hot mess. The decades of drawing with a pencil make doing it with a brush seem strange. I have to have faith that practice will make that feel more natural.

Compositionally, I wish I had made the bowl and fruit bigger, and moved them all slightly to the left. It bothers me less in the photograph* than it does in the actual painting, but the objects that should be capturing our interest are a little overwhelmed by their background.

The lighting in the room was via fluorescent lamps, so there were no strong highlights or contrast, and I found myself exaggerating the shadows beneath the bowl and the single lime far more than they appeared in reality. I feel like doing so was the only thing to do to make it at all interesting.

I am not sure I am sold on direct painting as an avenue I am interested in pursuing. I have an idea about the sort of paintings I want to produce, which will lend itself far more to indirect painting. But an explanation of the art I think I want to produce is probably best left to a later blog post.

Peace in yer crease.

* So far I have shot all of the photos for this blog with my iPhone. I will at some point have to learn how to take better pictures of my work. But I have been interested in the way these photos have softened some of the things I have felt was less than successful in my work, yet exaggerated other things that I now see could use significant improvement.

Volume

As you can probably tell from the drawing below, I am still struggling with faces, feet and hands.

                                                                                                     Seated Nude

                                                                                                     Charcoal On Paper

This was a 20 minute drawing done in Wednesday night's figure drawing class. The class is four hours long. We begin with one minute drawings, really just long enough to get a gesture of the pose. Having to rough in a gesture that quickly is great because it gets your brain out of the way. You don't think about it because there is no time to think, no time to second guess. There is barely enough time draw.

After the one minute gestures we move on to two minutes, then five, ten, and twenty minutes. As you increase the amount of time the amount of detail increases, as does (hopefully) the accuracy of your rendering. The other thing that increases your accuracy? Volume. Doing a shit ton of drawings.

In my Tuesday evening painting class, the instructor asked me if I was having any particular issues while working on my piece. I mentioned that sometimes I had problems with paint consistency, having either too much or too little solvent on my brush, making the paint either too thick to spread evenly, or too thin to cover adequately. He said there was no magical formula, that you just had to learn to feel it by doing it. Volume. Doing a shit ton of paintings.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice. 

So the goal for myself is three drawings and one painting, outside of class, per week. I will try to show some of that here.

Peace in yer crease.

Job Search: Part Two

I continue to look for a somewhere between part time and full time job. Last week I sent in a resume and cover letter for the first non theatre job I have applied for in about 20 years, a position at The Phillips Collection. As I move more to studio art, is there a better place to work than an art gallery?

What I struggled with the most was figuring out how to frame my skill set and experience into terms that would make sense to someone who knew nothing about theatre. What does being a theatrical scenery, lighting and projections designer mean in real world terms? How about production management?

I put these questions out to the Facebook hive- mind, and got a number of useful thoughts. My friend V, who has recently made the same transition out of theatre, was very helpful. She looked over my resume and made suggestions, and sent me several versions of hers*.

As the job search goes on I am also working on ideas for the set for Oedipus I am designing for Catholic University and a bit of production management for a project at Georgetown University. And of course drawing and painting.

Peace in yer crease.

* I have been overwhelmed by the support and encouragement I have received from so many of my friends. It has been truly humbling.

At The Moment What I Love About Oils Is What I Hate About Oils

I took this rather blurry photo with my iPhone last night in class:

                                                                                  Untitled
                                                                                  Oil on canvas board.
                                                                                  20" x 16"

The current layer of color was brushed on top of a greyscale painting done last week (which I forgot to take a photo of before starting to paint yesterday). I continued to poke at the painting for about 40 minutes after this picture was taken. It's one of the great thing about oils. Because of the extremely slow drying time* you can continue to manipulate the image for hours. Really until you are too tired to hold a brush anymore if you so choose.

And one of the worst things about oils (at least to me at the moment) is that you can continue to manipulate the image for hours if you so choose. Knowing when to stop can be difficult and it is possible to make the painting worse if you are not careful. In theatre you know when you have to stop working on the art; when the press sees it. I am finding it harder to make that determination with painting**.

* I read recently that conservators do not consider an oil painting completely dry until between 60 and 80 years after it has been completed. Which means I will more than likely be dead before any canvas I have done is completely dry.

** I am not the only one. One of the works on display in the Degas/ Cassatt exhibit at the National Gallery Of Art is a painting by Degas that he would not allow to be sold because he wanted to rework it. He did so for years and it was still in his studio at the time of his death. 

Job Search: Part One

I am looking for a day job. In thinking about how to go about this search I thought it would be helpful to try and prioritize what I would like the ideal job to have. I have categorized this list into three categories.

Must Haves. Things that a job has to have going for it because it's part and parcel of why I am looking for a one to begin with.

Would Love To Have. Things that would make a job attractive, such that I would be willing to make slightly less in order to get them.

Unicorns That Fart Glitter. Things I would love an employer/ situation to offer but I am certainly not expecting to find.

Must Have:
Based in DC and Metro accessible. I have really cheap rent and don't want to move, and I don't have a driver's license.
Financial Solvency. This may seem like an odd thing to point out, but I don't want to go to work somewhere that is going to shut the doors in three months and force me to start this painful process all over again.
A regular, predictable schedule that has some flexibility. Some evenings and weekends are fine as long as I can do things like take full semester classes.
Above minimum wage.

Would Love To Have:
Somewhere between Part Time and Full Time. 32 - 35 hours a week would be ideal. Is there such a thing as 3/4 time?
Health Insurance. I would like to stop paying out of pocket.
Something in some way related to the arts, but not something I am thinking/ stressing about after the end of the work day.
Not having to be on my feet the whole work day. I don't necessarily want to sit behind a desk all day, but some time sitting down would be nice.
Paid Vacation/ Holidays.
Double the current minimum wage.

Unicorns That Fart Glitter:
Dental and optical insurance.
50k+ per year.
Never having to deal with the general public. Ever.
An actual unicorn that farts glitter.

If anyone knows of anything, please feel free to pass it along.

Peace in yer crease.

Faces, Feet & Hands. ARGH!

I went yesterday morning to the Saturday life drawing session with Washington Drawing Center. Both the Saturday morning and Thursday evening sessions are three hours with a single pose, for the insanely low price of $10/ session. The downside is the pose and lighting are generally worked out by committee. Still it is a great resource and I am glad to have the opportunity to work with a model at all.

For the first time since I started attending, I did a single 18" x 24" drawing while standing at an easel. I haven't really drawn anything on that scale in about 15 years. It's a lot of surface to cover with a pencil.

                                                   Seated Nude. 

                                                   Graphite on paper.

It turns out three hours was not really enough to get to a more finished drawing. In my ideal world I would have spent another two hours with the model. The model's left side, arm and breast are a little mushy and I would have liked to clean that up, as well as fill in details about the background.

But mostly the reason I would have liked more time is I am still struggling with are the face, feet and hands. That's probably clear in the above drawing given that I did not draw the hands at all and only one of the feet. And the one I did draw is still not proportioned correctly, even given the foreshortening.

However, even despite it's flaws, I am happier with the rendering of the face than I have been with any of my previous attempts. The nose is still off, and the jaw line is too angular, but it's the first time I have been able to get eyes and lips to look like they belong in a human face.  The thing is I am not really sure how I was able to do that. I spent the last 40 minutes of the session working and reworking just the face. The eyes and lips seemed finally to just come about by accident. That is a little disconcerting.

So my next thing to really work on is drawing the head and face. First to make them look like a person. Then will come creating an actual likeness of the model.

After that it's on to hands and feet.

Peace in yer crease.

What's Next?

I obviously have not blogged in quite some time. I am getting back to it partly because of some thoughts the writer and artist Austin Kleon shares in his book "Show Your Work" about when and how you should begin promoting your art. One of his ideas is that you should find a forum with which to share with the world, if not the actual work you are doing, at least some information about it. A teaser of sorts. He suggests the use of a blog, and since I already have one I thought I would experiment with the notion while I begin to make the transition out of theatre.

I suppose I should backtrack a bit.

Over the past six months or so I have begun pursuing studio art, drawing and painting as a means of expressing an artistic idea rather than the more utilitarian purpose I have used them for in the past. i.e. the illustration of a dramatic idea. In January I started attending life drawing sessions offered by the Washington Drawing Center. In March I began to experiment with oil painting. I spent six days in Florence, Italy at the beginning of April, much of which was spent taking in the breathtaking painting and sculpture to be found there.

In Italy, everything sort of clicked and I realized it was time to really take the plunge and step away from being a freelance theatrical artist. I immediately felt better. I returned to the US and began to hatch a plan.

So why the change? That requires a little bit more backtracking.

2013 was a pretty crappy year which saw either the loss or near loss of several loved ones. Among the many things I took away from all that trauma was a desire to have something that I did not feel so impermanent. I don't have kids, in fact have never wanted to be a parent, so when I depart this world I would like to leave something behind that lasted beyond a six week run and the vague impressions left in the memory of the audiences who saw whatever I had done. Maybe that's ego. I don't know.

Another part of it honestly stems from my frustration about getting less and less work as time goes on. Unlike theatrical design, I can choose when I pick up a paint brush. I don't have to wait for someone to hire me in order to have a means of expression. This is a double edged sword as it is also then my responsibility to do it, independent of deadlines.

But I think the largest reason is simply wanting to exercise more control over the artistic expression. I don't have to filter my ideas through anyone else, I can just do what seems best to me. This is probably also a double edged sword.

So what am I working on now?

I am tying up two theatrical projects that will be presented this Fall. I am taking summer classes in painting and figure drawing through the continuing education department at the Corcoran. I continue to go to life drawing sessions throughout the week. I am reading a lot. I am plotting a trip to Amsterdam this Fall.

And I am looking for a little more than part time job so I can get a predictable income and schedule, put some money away for graduate school (more on that later) and pay for more classes and hopefully a studio space that is not my apartment.

There will hopefully be more posted here, and I might even share some photos of drawing and painting I am doing. Although I am still a little self conscious about doing that just yet.

Peace in yer crease.

Marquee Players In DC Theatres

A great deal has been made recently* (including by me) about the use of out of town artistic talent at theatres here in the DC area. At this year's Helen Hayes Awards, for the first time, I knew or knew of about half of the nominees, which given that I have been working in this town for over ten years, seemed a little strange. The number of out of town nominees who were not in the "Non- Resident" category was staggering.

I understand that at the end of the day, theatres have to put asses in seats. No one wants to play to an empty house, and I want my checks to clear. Theatres in town, especially the larger ones, bank on having names on the marquee that will accomplish that goal. Certainly you will get a lot of people coming to see Stacey Keach as Lear, especially with Robert Falls as director. Even non- theatre people have heard those names, and are impressed enough to risk their hard earned money against the chance of seeing something phenomenal.

But given the number of incredibly gifted designers based in this area, it is shocking how many artists from out of town are brought in to design at theaters here each season. Designers are not marquee players. No one, other than my dad, is coming to see a show because I designed it. And here's a little secret, no one, outside of other designers, are coming to see a show because it was designed by Ming Cho Lee, or Walt Spangler, or Howell Binkley. This is not to say the work of these artists is not of great quality, but there are designers living and working in this town to rival the work of these (and many others) coming in from outside the DC area. And if we are not selling tickets based on our name, what sense does it make to bring in someone from out of town that you have to pay travel expenses, housing, and per diem for, just because they are well known within a very small sphere?

As a final note, I would like to say that while it is true that actors and directors ARE marquee players, it is important to remember that it is theatres who made them so. Artists like Stacey Keach and Robert Falls and the rest of the long list of talent who grace our stages have intelligence and talent and dedication, but they also had theatre who invested in them, promoted them and MADE them stars. The same is true on a smaller scale here in DC. Rick Foucheux, Holly Twyford, Sarah Marshall and others are household names in Washington because not only are they gifted and smart and hard working, but because local theatres have invested time and attention to promoting them as such. Need stars on your marquee? Then make your local talent household names.

*And by recently I mean since I started working in DC.

My expanded thoughts on the recent HHA Summit

Last week, at someone's personal request, I attended the Helen Hayes Award summit hosted by TheatreWashington. It was a fascinating gathering with a lot of interesting ideas exchanged. It was also fascinating because of who attended, and who didn't. I don't know the actual reason for the meeting, only the rumors I have heard, which I won't repeat here, but there did seem a segment of the DC theatre community that was conspicuously not represented.

First let me say that I thought TW made a smart move in bringing in a professional facilitator to lead the discussion. Some form of open mike forum could easily have become unruly at best, an absolute bloodbath at worst. And I thought the format helped set the correct tone. Beginning the discussion with thoughts about what the HHA does successfully allowed us to think about changes we wanted to see as additions to, not subtractions from, the awards as they stand now. Mostly.

There were a lot of interesting thoughts expressed throughout the evening, but there were two in particular that I wanted to respond to.

The first is the non-resident categories. This was said a number of times throughout the evening, but I wanted to give my 2 cents*: Dump them. I understand that at one time they were necessary to help get national exposure for the HHA, but that time is past. Actors, directors and designers are listing their nominations in programs across the country. The awards are reported in all of the major trade rags. If TW and the HHA are truly about the Washington, DC theatre community, then who really cares who did the best job in the touring company of "Spamalot" at the National. It seems that half the time the winner is not even present to accept their award because they are playing another city, which would seem to reinforce the point. Get rid of the non-resident categories, which would make room for expansion of other categories (suggestions for which I will not be making at this time).

Another suggestion made, that ended up getting a great deal of applause, was that eligibility for the HHA be restricted to shows that employed more than 50% DC based talent. I responded to this idea in a most inarticulate fashion, mostly because I have an almost phobic aversion to speaking in public**. What I wish I had said was this: I understand the impetus for this idea. When Stephen Epp was giving his acceptance speech for Outstanding Lead Actor In A Resident Production at this year's awards ceremony, and was going on and on about all of the cities they had played the show before DC, and all the places they had been afterwards, you could feel the whole room go cold. I half expected him to get booed off stage. I was angered by it. But I think trying to limit eligibility for the HHA on those grounds presents two distinct problems.

One, I don't know how you police that. What criteria are you using? Is the scene shop staff included in those numbers? How about the marketing department? And who has the time to look into all of that?

But more importantly I think the message it sends is that the only way DC based artists can be recognized for excellence is if we stack the deck in our favor. The first year I was nominated, among the other nominees was Walt Spangler. I can't speak for anyone else, but I was thrilled to be listed in that company, and I would put my work up against any out of town artist who is named in the same category as I am.

Still, I stand by what I did say at the HHA Summit, and that was the problem is not with the HHAs, but with the theatres doing the hiring. There is an insanely deep and gifted talent pool to draw from in this community, so why are so many artists being brought in from out of town***? And while I don't think the HHAs should be policing that, I would love to see TW lead that discussion. Some sort of summit to bring together artists and the ADs and Casting Directors from area theaters to discuss the issue. Because I do have some understanding of the reasons theaters think they have to do this, and I think it would be helpful for the rest of the community to hear those explanations, and for the theatres to hear artists' responses to those issues.

I applaud TW for taking this step to include so much of the DC theatre community, and I hope it will lead to more productive dialogue, and a greater awareness of how really outstanding theatre in Washington, DC really is.

*Like anyone really cares about my 2 cents. But this is my blog so if you are reading it, maybe you do.

**There is a reason I work on the side of the footlights that I do.

***There will be another post dedicated to this very question.

Life Goals And Other Random Musings

My apartment is a cave. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing tends to shift from moment to moment. It's mostly ok except when I am working on a number of projects at once, especially scene design*, and the work spreads out everywhere.

What would help to even that out would be to have studio space that was somewhere else. I have been looking into that possibility, but I am somewhat nervous about having enough work to pay for that. I could certainly make enough money if I worked more over hire, but that would eat up the time I could be working in the studio.

The other aspect of the cave that is somewhat troublesome is how unwelcoming it might seem to someone else. I like to cook for people, but I am too self- conscious about the toilet you have to jiggle in just the right way to make it work, etc, to invite someone to dinner. I could move, but I love the neighborhood I live in and could never afford to live here if I were not paying the below market rent my father is charging me. I don't drive, so living out in the boonies to get the sort of rent I could currently afford is not really an option.

The conclusion would seem to be that I need to make more money. Over the past few years, the amount of design work I have had has been on a steady decline. Interestingly, I am in general making more per show as time goes by, so other than this calendar year my income from designing has held fairly steady**.

I have no hard explanations for why the decline in design gigs has happened, but I have some theories.

First, I joined the Union. While this was a logical step for me to take, it made me more expensive for some employers. I know of one theatre in particular that fell under the Bay Area contract and the minimum put me out of their price range. It was not that I did not know this was going to happen when I joined but it did have an effect.

Another contributing factor has been people with whom I had long standing relationships moved from their positions. This has been especially true for theatres out of town.

The economy went down the toilet. Theatres cut back on their programming, or worse yet closed their doors. They also got more conservative in their choices, not just in terms of material but also in terms of who they hired. They became less willing to work with new people.

There is more high quality competition in town than there really was even three years ago.

A couple of years ago I drew a line for myself that I would not work for less than a certain dollar amount. There have been one or two exceptions because it was a project I really wanted to work on, but in general that minimum has meant there are some theatres are not going to hire me.

So what do I do about this trend of decline? I am not entirely sure. I have never been very good at promoting myself. I think maybe I am getting better at it, and hopefully having an agent now will help to get me out of this slump.

On a more cheerful note, I am starting to get really excited about the 2012/ 13 season. I suppose the newest update is I am designing scenery and lighting for American Utopias at Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company in March. It will be challenging because the schedule for load- in and tech is very tight, but from the conversations we have had so far I think the show will be awesome.

There are thoughts about family life, dating, starting a Not For Profit and beginning to think about the time when I might retire, but they will have to wait for another post.

Peace in yer crease.

* There is a huge amount of space required in Scene Design, especially when you start working on the scale model. Even though I draft on the computer, I still begin the design process with pencil and paper and lots of visual research to look at all at once.

** Though the dollar amount of my income has been fairly consistent over the past several years, it has in no way kept pace with inflation. So I am actually making less than I was three years ago.

David Bowie Thoughts

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes...

Sorry, very bad joke. Between Twitter, FB and a few other odds and ends, my literary creativity seems to be sapped at the moment. Or maybe I just need a nap.

The recent changes I was referring to:

Design work has begun to trickle in. Given how slow 2012 has been up to this point, this is wonderful news. I am designing lighting for a production of The Rocky Horror Show in October. I lit a production of that show in October of 1992, so this feels like an anniversary show. I am not sure I am ready to be having 20th anniversary events in my career, but whatever. It's a fun show and I am psyched about the other members of the design team and the director.

I am also re- designing scenery for Black Nativity which goes up at the end of November.

There are other possibilities on the horizon, but I am not ready to talk about them just yet.

The other career oriented change is I now have an agent. Something I am still getting used to saying.

More soon.

Peace.

Where The Hell Have Ya'll Been?

Annnnd..... we're back.

Have not posted here on the ol blog in quite some time. There have been a number of reasons for that. Here are some of them, in no particular order:

I joined Facebook and for some time that was adequate for expressing my feelings in short bursts.

I felt like I was perhaps being too open on this thing (although an argument could be made I have been doing the same on FB), especially considering the less than anonymous nature of this thing.

Most people I knew in the blogosphere had slowed down or stopped their blogging altogether, and I felt like people had stopped reading.

So why am I starting back up now?

I am not really sure. There has been a lot swirling around in my mind and FB is not always the best place to write about it. I guess I am hoping my lengthy hiatus here will provide me with a renewed sense of anonymity.

So what's been going on? A lot and not a damned thing, all at once.

I am still based in DC, still doing the freelance design thing, although I am doing as much scenery and projections work as lighting these days. I added the Scene Design category to my USA card. There has been a sharp drop off in design work over the past year or so, but it seems that is beginning to turn around. I have been filling in the gaps with over- hire work as an electrician or carpenter at various theaters around town.

I am still single. 

I know, we are all shocked.

More soon.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!  Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa!

My wish for you all is that you are able to hold the peace and joy of the holiday season in your hearts all year long.

Can We Get A Reality Check On Aisle 7 Please?

I was on my way to a meeting this evening when I passed an upscale furnishings store.  As part of their window display they had a coffee table book entitled Luxury Private Islands.

Luxury Private Islands

We will pause while you consider this.

Really?  Isn't the word "Luxury" terribly redundant?  Not to mention insulting to those of us without private islands.

Is there anyone, anywhere, who has actually said, "Yes I have a private island but it is a real dump."?

And if there is, do they understand they will be among the first whose heads wind up in the basket?

Good Grief!

For Those Of You Who Monitor This For News Of My Health

I made it back from New Orleans mostly intact (my liver might disagree).

Lots of fun.  Lots of relaxation.  Lots of avoiding the confusion that my life has become.

Sadly, I must once again face that confusion.

Yeah.

Does Anyone Know?

When it comes to male/ female interactions, do we ever really get out of middle school?

Yes folks, we are back to the cryptic posts.

Sorry about that.

A Quick Shout Out...

... to the MSGAP.  

On Sunday I was in desperate need of female- behavior- reading help, and who better to aid me than the Multi- State, Girlie- Advising Posse.  So I turned on my Clueless Symbol and pointed it at the nearest cloud.  My much esteemed Posse did not fail me.  

Each one talked me through the finer points of what I was witnessing, and provided sage advice on how to proceed.  

So thank you all, ladies.  I don't know how I would make it through life without you, but I am comforted by the knowledge I won't have to.

So keep watching the clouds for the Clueless Symbol.  Odds are pretty good it will be on again soon. 

And This Has What To Do With Art?

The day started favorably.  I got into the studio, taped out a clean ground plan onto the drafting table, taped down a piece of tracing paper, and started the beginnings of a doodle.  Then the Production Manager dropped by with a contract for me to sign.

I read the contract, cause you know, I do that.

I then spent the next three hours rewriting and adding language to said contract, turning it from a page and a half document into one over seven pages long.  Cause you know, I do that.

Why does anyone really think I would sign a document that says you can fire me at any time without cause, but the only way I can get out of the contract is for you to fail to pay me?  On opening night.  On the date the contract ends anyway.

Why does anyone think I would sign a document that says I can't sue you if through your own negligence, you drop something heavy on me?

I really need a manager!

Yesterday's Quote of the Day

From Hell's heart I stab at thee.

For Hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

So I was a little grumpy yesterday.

WaaH HOOoh.

We now have less than one year to suffer under the Presidential Imbecile.

I Even Ate First

Dammit!

I just finished watching the film Big Night, and I am hungry again.

The Day I Knew Would Come...

... has arrived.

I am now out of bookshelf space in my apartment.

Time to move.

Happy New Year

A New Year.

Really, how the eff did it get to be 2008.  Just yesterday it was March.

Unlike last year, where I missed the turning of the new year because I was reading a book, I actually managed to make plans and go out.  Indeed I went to two parties and had a wonderfully festive time at both.  I even got kissed at midnight.

The down side of New Years Day, other than the hangover, is it is a week before my birthday. So that whole what have I done in the last year/ what am I going to do in the future year just feels so much more intense.

The past year was mostly up, with a bit of down.

The Ups:

Two fantastic design gigs with the most creatively inspiring director I have ever had the privilege of working with.  

I got to assist on a show at Roundabout Theatre in NY.

I managed to patch up a friendship that had gone south.

I got to work with a director who wants to hire me for much better money at another theatre.

I had work for the whole year.

Also for a brief time I was involved in a relationship, which was lovely while it lasted.

The Downs:

My brief relationship ended.

My uncle passed away after a short illness, and I did not have a chance to see him before he died.

The year ahead looks far more uncertain.  I don't have a lot of design work lined up at the moment, although there are some rumors on the wind.  

I am planning to take the Scene Design Exam in the Spring.

I have decided to swear off women for the year.  I love the women in my life dearly, but women are insane.  And all of the MSGAP who I have said this to agree.

I hope everyone's New Year is safe, happy and prosperous.

If You Are Planning To Buy A Car...

...please consider buying a Ford.

I stopped driving several years ago, so I cannot comment on the quality of Ford's automobiles.  However, their commitment to fair treatment of homosexuals and trans-genders is certainly something worth supporting.

Interestingly enough I was alerted to this by an email from the American Family Association, an organization that seems, at least as far as I can tell from it's emails, to spend most of it's energy and resources promoting blind hatred and bigotry disguised as religion.  They refer to the "Homosexual Agenda" and ask their members to encourage companies that have non-discrimination policies and provide benefits to same sex partners to "remain neutral".

The rest of their emails tend to be about boycotting stores that use the words "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".  One wonders in a nation with somewhere between 700,000 and 2,000,000 people homeless (36% of whom are families with children),  36.5 million people living in poverty (including 12.8 million children) and 47 million people without health insurance (including 8.7 million children), what Jesus would have to say to those bastards who won't say "Merry Christmas".

I Love Panda Cam!

It's just a little burst of happiness in the day.

Am I The Only One Who Thinks This?

The Internet is the worse thing to happen to dating.

Ever.

The Holidays

The period from Thanksgiving to New Year's is my favorite time of the year.  It always reminds me of good food, fine wine and the company of people whom I love.  Even if I don't get to partake in all of that every year, I still love the season and all it means.

And the best part of the whole package is Christmas.  I was discussing this recently with a friend of mine who noted how strange it was that an atheist (ie me) should love Christmas so much.  I tried to quote to her the passage from the Bible that to me sums up the idea behind Christmas* but I mangled it.  Here it is:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them: and they were afraid.

And the Angel said unto them, "Fear not, for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

While I don't believe in the divinity of Jesus, I do think he had a lot of great ideas about what it means to be a part of the human race.  And I don't think it at all hypocritical to celebrate that idea; peace on earth, good will toward men.  Would we did not have to confine that notion to one day.

So I hope my non- Christian friends will forgive me when I wish you all a Merry Christmas.  I hope you all can take from it the same meaning I do.  

And wishes for you all to have a Happy New Year.

* So did Charles Schultz.

Wahoooo!

This is my first post from my new I-Mac.

I love this machine.

DAMMITT!!!

That is all.

Randomly Overheard Statements This Past Weekend

"It's sheep, sheep, sheep, and then we're out."

Dan Covey

"It's that sheep! It's trying to kill us!"

Holly Twyford

What Are You Doing Saturday Night?

This Bitches!

If Only You Could Translate Sounds Onto Blogger

Then you would hear me crashing and burning.

To the MSGAP, ignore the previous post.

A Question For The MSGAP*

What do you think of asking someone out via email?

* Multi- State, Girlie- Advising Posse

Update?

For several months I have been less than motivated to write here on the ol blog. Part of the reason is that work has been busier than the law should allow. Seriously, I went four months without going to the grocery store. There are only so many different meals you can really make from the stuff available at 7-11.

Another factor in my lack of posting was being involved in a relationship for a while. Strangely enough, I wanted to spend free time with the GF rather than sitting about writing blog posts.

Probably the biggest reason for my silence of late is that most of the things I have cared enough to write about recently I have cared too much about to write a half-assed or truncated post.

I would like to pause and say a big thank you to those of you who have continued to tune in despite the lack of reasons to do so. I appreciate your loyalty.

So what is going on?

I am currently in Baltimore designing scenery for one of the universities up here. The show has been going fairly well, although there have been some interesting mindset adjustments that have had to be made. For instance, part of the action of the play is for one of the characters to smash a guitar onstage. I suggested rigging a fake guitar to do this bit, but instead we purchased enough guitars to destroy one every night of tech and performance.

We have spent more on guitars for this show than the scenery budgets for several projects I was involved in last season. Of course this is a university with a "use it or lose it" budget situation. Like I said, a whole different world.

I have met someone I think I would like to see a whole lot more of. I suppose time will tell.

Work slows down considerably after this week. I am actually going on vacation for a while. Looking forward to getting away.

I hope I will get back to a little bit of blogging soon.

Peace in yer crease.

Why I Am Aggravated At The Moment

Because I am a big wuss.

It is amazing how much this bothers me.

And yes, I know I am being cryptic again.

Eastern Promises

Easily the best movie I have seen all year.

A Moment Of Silence

Luciano Pavarotti died today at the age of 71.

Argh!

Expletive! Expletive! Expletive!

That is all.

Blah!

I am in California at the moment. Tonight was 1st preview for Bleacher Bums. The show has been going well so far. We will start tech-ing The Weir on Monday. I will catch a plane Wednesday and finally head home.

As always seems to happen when I go out of town for extended periods of time, life has thrown me a few curve balls*. One of my mother's two surviving brothers had been sick and went to the hospital to discover that his whole body is riddled with cancer. The doctors have estimated one to six months left for him.

I received an email last week that a friend from college (the first time) died after a long illness last Sunday. Steve was truly one of the good guys. Despite the pressure of a very intensive program, he was always able to maintain a view of the larger picture. He was a dedicated family man and managed to find a balance between life and work that has so far eluded me. I wish I was a better writer so I could really express what a loss to the world Steve's passing is.

I won't go into details other than to say there is no bad guy in the situation, but I am single again.

I will pause here to say Happy Birthday to S, who is 28 today.

Peace in your crease, folks.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

Let all of the gods in heaven be praised.

I have working AC in my apartment!

Wouldn't It Be Great...

...if there was a magic ring we could drop into a volcano, and George Bush and all his cronies would just go away?

What I Am Doing Right Now...

...is drinking Jack Daniel's from the bottle and listening to Folsom Prison Blues.

It's been a grumpy two days.

If Nothing Else....

A meme. Citymouse tagged me with this some time ago.

Bloggers must post these rules and provide eight random facts about themselves. In the post, the tagged blogger tags eight other bloggers and notify them they have been tagged.

1) I can juggle. At an earlier time in my life, I lived with professional clowns. I could not stand to be the only person in the house who could not juggle, so I learned. I can only do balls though, not clubs. My attempts to juggle clubs ended when I actually knocked myself unconscious with one.

2) I have three tattoos. I want more. The last one I got was with S, a few days before she moved to New Orleans and I moved back to DC. It is a symbol that means truth, a promise between us that there we will always be honest with one another, whether we want to hear it or not.

3) When I was a small child, I had surgery to correct a chest and rib deformity and for some time had a metal plate in my chest. I have a wicked scar as a reminder. I usually win the "Best Scar" contest unless someone has had open heart surgery.

4) I have lived in my current apartment longer than I have lived any one place in my adult life.

5) My 40th birthday is on a Tuesday. How much does that suck?

6) I spent about a year managing a fast food restaurant when I was 18/19.

7) I am allergic to most fruits and vegetables raw.

8) I hate the taste of licorice.

I don't have anyone to tag because most of my friends have stopped blogging. So it's a free for all.

What I Am Doing Right Now....

... is procrastinating.

I have much to do in these next couple of days before I head to Hartford for a week (I did mention Hartford, right?) to assist D on a show at Hartford Stage. I am designing scenery for Songs For A New World with Open Circle Theatre, then is scenery and lighting for Bleacher Bums and The Weir, which are being done in rotating rep. And I have been having meetings about African Continuum's first show of the season.

So a lot of scenery to draft.

Other stuff that has been going on.

S finally got a new phone, so I have been able to chat with her again, which has been good, especially because I have been able to get updates on a mutual friend who was in the hospital.

I am, as I write this, waiting on the AC guy to come look at my unit. With any luck the AC will be repaired in my apartment when I get back from Hartford.

I am trying to find time to go look at studio space so I can finally stop working from home.

I have been spending much of my free time with the GF. That has been nice.

Not much else going on. I know I have been really bad with the whole staying in touch thing of late. Sorry about that folks. Check back soon, because I actually have some thoughts on the news to share, and I have a meme from City Mouse I still need to do. So there should be something to read up here soon.

Peace in yer crease.

Show Me The Money

So you would think this is simple, right? A fee was agreed on, we signed a contract, I did the work. Yet the contract has been violated because the producer did not have my check for me on the day of the show. It has now been four days and I have yet to see the check.

Just effing pay me what was agreed to!

This is my single biggest complaint about being a freelance artist. Why do some people feel it is OK to pay people when they get around to it? I doubt very much the people responsible would accept the same behavior from their employer.

Here is a little clue, folks. This is not a hobby. This is how I make my living. I have bills to pay just like you. So fucking pay me on time!

One of the things that sucks about this situation, other than not having the money, is I now have to be an asshole to people I will (hopefully) be working with again. In a discussion with fellow designers recently, the subject of having an agent came up. While many were skeptical about the benefits of employing someone in that role, the mutual agreement was there was certainly value in having someone else who engaged in the fights with management so that one could go into the working situation without having to be the bad guy.

The other thing that sucks is I have very little real recourse. Both shows for which I am currently owed money have closed, so I can't threaten a cease and desist. Do I have to be that guy? You know the one who takes the show disc out of the console and won't restore the show until they have been given a check. Talk about a way to sour a relationship.

What do my readers think?

A Few Thoughts On The Upcoming Presidential Elections, And Other Political Ramblings

First off, the first Presidential Primary is not until my birthday next year*, yet media outlets of all kinds are focused on presidential candidates. I think this is a little nuts, but there are probably a number of reasons for this. The Democrats** certainly smell the blood in the water, believing they are a shoe-in for the White House, so it is just a matter of choosing who. The Republicans are trying to simultaneously appear to believe we are pursuing the right course in Iraq whilst distancing themselves from the President. I have not had the leisure to really examine the front runners closely, but I have not heard a great deal on either side that has inspired much hope. The political system is broken methinks, though I have a few thoughts on steps to get it back on the right direction.

According to Project Vote Smart's website, as of yesterday there were 28 Democrats, 37 Republicans, and 49 from various other political parties. Lets just do the math shall we? 28+37+49= 114 people running for President! 114. And if we are lucky we will have three of those people to choose from come next November. Three out of 114. Now I am all for a little sifting of the political field, separating the wheat from the chaff. But it seems that every election I have voted in since I was eligible to do so has been a choice between two or three bits of chaff. Where the hell is the wheat? Perhaps the current threshing machine is not as effective as we would like to think, so here is another idea:

Do away with the Primary system. Everyone runs. Let those who have extreme agendas syphon off the fringes of the political spectrum, so that those of us who are more moderate and more capable of compromise might be able to find a candidate who exhibits those same qualities. Perhaps then we could have actual discourse on those things that really matter to most people, the economy, health care, education, retirement security, public safety, the enviroment. Perhaps then we would not have the President of the United States suggesting to us that we should waste time, money and energy to amend the Constitution to prohibit gay marriage in an attempt to arouse the most rabid and radical fringe of his party.

And speaking of Constitutional amendments, isn't it strange that the only amendment to that document in the last thirty- six years has been one to keep Representatives from voting themselves a pay raise that will take effect while they are in their present term. Here is one I would like to suggest: term limits for Senators and members of the House. We have imposed those limits on the Executive branch, yet a Congressmen or Senator can be re-elected to that position until they die, or at least until they send suggestive emails to high school pages. If you want to begin to break the stranglehold that big business and their various lobbies hold over government, take away the incentive for our elective officials to pander to them. If they can only serve two terms in the House and two terms in the Senate, they won't be so worried about securing campaign contributions so they can get re-elected ad-infinitum.

While we are on the subject of election campaign financing, let's amend the Public Campaign Financing laws to stop making it a choice whether or not to accept public funding. Every candidate gets the same amount of money. Period. And no individual or organization may spend money on a candidate's election campaign, or take out ads on their behalf. Theodore Roosevelt suggested this in his State of the Union address in 1907. That's one hundred years ago, BTW, and let me tell you that is one "old fashioned value" I could get behind.

Another thing I would like to see shifted is the Electoral College system. I know many liberals who would like to see the system go away entirely, and become a popular vote, but I disagree. To go to a popular vote would mean a candidate would really only have to campaign in California, Texas, New York, Florida, Illinois and Pennsylvania to obtain the majority of the popular vote. That leaves most states with no say in the head of the Executive branch of the government. Instead I would propose a change so that carrying the majority in a state does not garner a candidate that entire state's Electoral College voted, but instead the percentage of the popular vote he or she carried.

A few other thoughts at random.

Hillary Clinton cannot win. Why has no one told her this. Why is the Democratic leadership so blind on this issue? As much as the Republicans hated Bill, they despise her even more. I know women who refer to her as "That stuck up bitch who doesn't know her place." The conservatives will come out of the woodwork to bring her down. Hillary on the ticket puts a Republican in the White House for four more years.

Barak Obama cannot win either. I may be called a racist, but I don't believe we will see a black President in my lifetime. I also think that is sad.

We need to stop trying to force "Democracy" down everyone's throats. It is not a system of government handed down by the gods and just because it seems to work for us does not mean it is right for all countries.

We need to stop fighting the "War on Terror". No government in the history of the world has ever defeated terrorism. They have all eventually negotiated peace and given concessions to those they labeled "terrorists". The people who are targeting our country are doing so because of a half a century of US interference in their countries. Don't believe me, look at what a Republican candidate for President had to say.

There is more, but it will have to wait.




* January 8, 2008

** ie. the pussies who have waited until they had a majority in Congress to even begin to confront the Presidential Imbecile about the debacle that is Iraq.

Back To Work!

Except for returning a few emails, I took last week off. I sat in my apartment and read, watched movies, played video games. It was fabulous. I have designed or assisted on 21 shows so far this season in addition to work at the Atlas and working as Production Manager on a ballet production in November. I have been ready for a break.

Now I am trying to adjust to being in the working world again. I would love for the season to be over, but I have three more shows to finish up. Fortunately they are all small, but still I am feeling as if maybe the week was not enough.

Have to get back to work now.

Peace in yer crease!

The End Of The NY Adventure, And Life In DC

The NY adventure went well.

Friday night, after the first preview and expected rounds of drinks at the bar just down the street, I went with the General Manager, the Sound Designer and others to a party being thrown in the Museum of Natural History. It was a blast, despite the odd "buy tickets to get drinks" system that did not seem to be working particularly well (we just slipped the guy at the table some cash). We went to the planetarium and watched the Cosmic Collisions show, narrated by Robert Redford. An interesting experience while somewhat less than sober.

Of course at all such events I feel fairly out of place. I kept waiting for one of the staff to come up and say, "Sorry sir, but you are not nearly hip enough to be in here."

Saturday morning was a bit murky. I woke up about an hour and a half before my alarm, probably because I was so excited that the GF was coming in that night. I packed up my stuff and left the keys for the whacko landlady, then headed to the theatre to go over focus with the person who will be responsible for maintaining the show through it's run.

After the matinee I checked into a hotel in midtown, and took a nap. Then was the evening performance, then back to the hotel for, you guessed it, another nap.

The GF was coming in on a bus at around 2:00 AM, so I left the hotel around 12:30 to get a bite to eat and meet her at Port Authority. While I was walking around the block, I had one of those quintessential NY experiences. A guy came up to me and tried to sell me Ex. I so love NY.

Her bus arrived in NY on time, but because the gate into the station was closed, they ended up circling the block for the better part of half an hour waiting for a guide to get them in a different route.

Sunday we saw a matinee of The Drowsy Chaperone which was fabulous. I cannot gush enough about this show. It is this sweet, mildly self deprecating ode to musical theatre and it's ability, when really good,I to transport us out of this at best tedious and at worst soul crushing experience that is daily life. I cried a little at the end.

Afterwords was dinner with D and R and a friend of theirs, then the evening performance of Beyond Glory. We finished the evening having cocktails with the other designers at the hotel, and saying farewell to the Sound Designer, who lives in Portland, and the Projection Designer who is from Chicago.

On Monday we checked out of the hotel, and then headed for Coney Island. A friend had tod me they were closing the attractions there to build condos or something, so I figured we should go see it before it was gone.

The place was delightfully tacky. We rode a roller coaster that actually aggravated an old back injury, took a turn on the Wonder Wheel Ferris wheel, rode some other ride the name of which
I can't recall (I think the name was shaken out of my head by all the twisting around), and even watched the Coney Island Side-Show. We finished up with hot dogs from Nathan's. Then was the long bus ride back home.

I am endeavoring to settle back into life in DC.

The past couple of days have been about trying to straighten up the cave and putting out a few fires in work life. I am trying to take it easy this week, as much of a vacation as I can manage. Next week the madness starts again as I finish up with my last three shows of the season and start prepping for the top of next season, which is much fuller than it has ever been.

Peace in yer crease.

The New York Adventure- Day ?

The show here has been going frighteningly well so far. We have invited dress this evening, and during yesterday afternoon's run I took not one single note. We are so far ahead of the game that I went with the design staff of our show last night to see Corum Boy. Despite some over the top moments, I really enjoyed the show. I was saddened (although not really surprised) to hear that it has already posted closing notices. If you get to NY before it closes it is certainly worth a look.

Not much else going on. I had thought I would be here for three weeks, but I will now be home Monday night. I will miss the great food to be had here in NY, but I am ready to be back home and perhaps spend some time quietly in my apartment for a few days.

The GF is coming to NY on Saturday night. Since the woman I am subletting a room from here is such a nutjob, we will be checking into a hotel. I am excited to see her.

Peace in yer crease!

The New York Adventure- Day 1

We began focus around 9:00 AM this morning. We finished up about 4:20 PM. D and I went to have dinner and a cocktail with a friend of his and R's. A delightful day full of work done with enough people, all of whom were competent and eager to perform their duties.

How I wish every show could be that way.

On a side note:

It is often easy for those of us who do not live and work here to be cynical about it, but I have to say working every day in the theatre district in NY is pretty effing exciting.

There is an energy here that just infects you.

Peace in yer crease!

In Case You Were Wondering

My landlady here in NY is an effing whacko!

Just thought you would like to know.

What A Difference A Year Makes

About a year ago, I wrote a post about how much I liked New York in the Spring.

It still holds true a year later.

But unlike this time last year, I am not here on my last gig of the season with no work to look forward to. Right now I am booked through October. And the work keeps rolling in.

Also unlike last year, I have someone in my life who puts a big smile on my face. For the first time in a long time I left town for work with a sense of regret. And that is a good thing. It makes me look forward to coming home.

So things are great. Something I sometimes have a hard time adjusting to. But I am beginning to get used to it.

Peace in yer crease.

What's New?

So where the heck have ya'll been?

Just kidding.

Clearly I have been less than diligent about writing here on the ol blog. In my defense, I have been a bit busy of late, so have not had a great deal of free time.

So what's been going on?

I have been in tech for about the past six weeks. The most recent show, The Oracle with African Continuum, was a wonderful experience from a creative standpoint, and is some of the best lighting I have ever done. Go see it, not for my lighting, but for the fabulous work done by the other designers as well as for the cast who are fantastic.

I am trying to get my ducks in a row so I am prepared to go to NY on Thursday. I will be there for about three weeks assisting D on Beyond Glory at Roundabout Theatre.

Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile probably remember that last summer was a bit stressful because of a lack of work, among other things. No such worries this year. I am at the moment booked pretty solidly through early October. There are a few small gaps in there, but since i just opened my 20th show this season as a Designer or assistant, I will be trying to take it easy during those times.

What free time I have had has been spent with my girlfriend.

I will pause now whilst you pick yourselves up off the floor.




Yes, I used the words "my girlfriend" and I wasn't being ironic. I won't share details here, but if I am not posting a lot for the next while, I hope you will understand.

Peace in yer crease, folks. I love you all.

Things To Look Forward To

On Friday I load in Sleeping and Waking for Charter Theatre. We tech over the weekend and have previews mid next week. I really like the script and am enjoying the challenge of making the show work in a small space with limited resources.

Next week load in begins for The Oracle with African Continuum. I am designing both Scenery and lighting, and although I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed, I am really psyched about the chance to do a big show again.

I am looking forward to something else I won't share here, but it has put a smile on my face more than once during what has been a very stressful week.

Peace out, bitches!

Things To Look Forward To

On Friday I load in Sleeping and Waking for Charter Theatre. We tech over the weekend and have previews mid next week. I really like the script and am enjoying the challenge of making the show work in a small space with limited resources.

Next week load in begins for The Oracle with African Continuum. I am designing both Scenery and Lighting, and although I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed, I am really psyched about the chance to do a big show again.

I am looking forward to something else I won't share here, but it has put a smile on my face more than once during what has been a very stressful week.

Peace out, bitches!

Things Not To Do At 5:00 AM

Leave your X-Acto knife lying on the floor and forget about it.

Because you will find it with your foot.

Who knew a foot could bleed that much?

That Galloping Sound You Hear ...

...is probably the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse.

For the first time in a very long time, I am content.

I am not just content, I am truly happy.

My professional life could not be going better.

I have friends who love me, despite their better impulses.

Other things I will not discuss here.

It has been a great week for me personally.

Virginia Tech.

I am heartbroken by the events at Virginia Tech yesterday.

As I try to wrap my head around it, I keep going back to Cho Seung-hui, the gunman. I am saddened that this 23 year old young man ever got to that emotional place where killing 32 people and then taking his own life seemed like the right thing to do.

A lot of questioning and examining will be done in Blacksburg and across the country over the next several weeks. It is my sincere hope that while the pundits are asking about this kid's mental stability and whether there were missed warning signs, we will take a few moments to look at what drove this young man to act in this way.

My deepest sympathies are with the victims and their families, and the entire faculty, staff and student body at Virginia Tech.

Please, be good to one another.

To Quote U2

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for..."

That would be a ticket to the Helen Hayes Awards.

How To Tell It's Getting Towards The End Of The Season

My ability to suffer fools gladly is greatly diminished.

Helen Hayes Tickets

Anyone got one they would like to sell?

My Life At The Moment

The Good Stuff:

For the past three days I have been assisting D on Alex in Wonderland at the Kennedy Center. We had an invited dress rehearsal last night, and it was the first time I have had a chance to watch the show. At one point in the stage directions is written "Pharoh's army of cute, tap-dancing bunnies enters". And they do. I love that a part of my job is to watch tap-dancing bunnies.

I received my Union card in the mail last week. I won't go into all that means to me, but it was a big moment.

I have work lined up until the middle of June, and already have six gigs for next season. I might even be able to not work between the end of this season and the beginning of the next.

One of the gigs I have is to design Scenery and Lighting for Hedwig and The Angry Inch. It's one of my favorite shows ever.

I decided the time had come to revive the DC Theatre Technician Cattle Call, and the response has been overwhelming. Three days ago we filled the last of our interview slots, and we have more than thirty theatres and production companies being represented. It will make for a busy Saturday, but hopefully I will get to have cocktails with ECAG-Retired afterwards.

It is beginning to look like I will have AC for the summer.

The Not So Good Stuff:

I am having real insomnia issues. It is becoming something of a pain.

I still have had no luck in striking that work/life balance thing. I have no personal life because I have so much work, but if I am honest with myself a small part of the reason I take so much work is because I don't really have a personal life. Snake eating it's own tail, doncha know.

S' phone died several weeks ago. This is the longest we have gone without talking since before we started dating. It is just plain weird that I can't pick up the phone and call her. I feel un-moored.

About 90 percent of the time I am happy and content with the overall status of my life. Really, I would have to be an imbecile not to be. I get paid to watch cute tap-dancing bunnies for god's sake. But every once in a while a wave of loneliness washes over me that is so heavy I have difficulty breathing, let alone moving. Then things pretty much suck.

I Am So Fucked!

My X-Box 360 was delivered today.

Reading My Stuff

Quite awhile ago I embedded Statcounter code in my blog. I get a weekly report telling me how many pageloads The Lighting Designer's Life recieves on a daily basis.

Recently I discovered that I had access to far more information regarding the visits here, including IP addresses and their country, city and state of origin. I can find out what links brought people here, how long they stayed, and how many times they come back.

Initially it sort of creeped me out, felt far too Big Brother for my tastes. Yet I find I am addicted to the info.

Things I have discovered:

People google the weirdest shit and get links to my blog. Things like "for the rain it raineth every day", "how do you do young willie mcbride", and my personal recent favorite, "sometimes you just stand there, hip deep in pie".

Not surprisingly, most of my readers are from the DC area, but I also have regular visits from people in in NY, California, Florida and Massachusetts. In addition, I have had readers from England, Canada, Mexico, South Africa, and China.

I have a regular reader that sometimes visits this blog five times a day. Unusual for reasons I won't go into.

It is odd to know not just that there are people are reading this, but also knowing from where, and in some cases who they are.

Update

My last day in California.

We had our second preview last night, and the cast received a standing ovation. The show is funny (I am still laughing even after having seen it all week) and I am happy with my work, given the limitations of the equipment.

I met someone last night who would actually make me reconsider my "Don't Date Actors" rule.

I had to bow out of designing the next show out here because I now have a gig assisting D at Roundabout Theatre in May. I am excited about both the project and the chance to hang out in NY for a couple of weeks.

I already have two gigs lined up for next season, one of which is designing scenery and lighting for Hedwig and The Angry Inch out here.

I have a lot of work to catch up on when I get back to DC tomorrow.

S's cell phone died a couple of weeks ago. We have emailed back and forth, but it has been strange not actually speaking to her.

More soon.

For Those Of You Wondering

I made it safely to California.

My Favorite Starbucks In Manhattan

The one on the corner of West 43rd and 8th Avenue.

I have been here for the better part of four hours, reading the mounds of paperwork I picked up today at the union office, and watching the world go by.

I just wish I didn't have to wait another four hours to get on my train to come home.

NY Weather Report

It is a wee bit chillier than I had planned on.

No, that is not some metaphor. I am freezing my ass off up here.

Am I The Only One Who Thinks This?

In this whole debate about whether to withdraw troops from Iraq or not, a lot of noise is being made that by fighting the insurgency there, we are not actually engaged in the "War On Terror" because Al-Qaeda is not operating in Iraq.

I have to admit to having doubts about whether the "War On Terror" is one we should be fighting to begin with.

Nothing is gained by responding to violence with violence. A saying attributed to Confucious goes "Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

So what would happen if instead of dropping bombs, invading nations, kidnapping and torturing people, we engaged in a dialog with those nations where terrorists are being recruited? What if we sought to help those governments improve infrastructure such as roads, power plants and water treatment facilities? What if we helped fund educational institutions and granted small business loans to help stimulate economic growth? What if we did all of this with absolutely no strings attached?

What if instead of being the boot that kicks, we became the hand that fed?

Do we think we would still face the same threat of terrorism as we do today?

I Don't Know ABout You Guys...

...but I want my damned hour back!

Random Stuff

I go to NY on Tuesday to pay my initiation fee to United Scenic Artists. After that I will only need to be sworn in. It will be good to have all that behind me.

On Thursday I fly to CA to light Lend Me A Tenor. I am excited about the show but wish I had a few more days to tie up loose ends and see where something is going.

I am now booked pretty solidly through late June. A good feeling.

I have made a decision to stop paying attention to age, mine and others. If it seems right, why should age stand in the way?

Still struggling with that life vs work balance thing.

I am really glad I have gotten to hang out with the folks from Perseverance while they are in town.

Because I have been so busy with work lately, I don't have much food in the apartment. I want to go grocery shopping and do some cooking, but I don't want to leave food around while I am in CA for a week and a half.

On a related note, I am getting tired of cooking just for myself. Some of you folks need to come over for dinner. And you know who you are.

Must be up early to prep for a meeting, so I am off to bed.

Peace out.

I Am Going To Hell

I will see some of you there.

An Update Of Sorts

As is probably obvious, I made it back from New Orleans in one piece. I had a blast and am already making plans to go next year. I saw one parade, actually marched in another, and saw more boobies than I could count. What I did not see was much of S, she was working pretty much the whole time I was there.

I returned to DC to spend 74 hours in one week at my "part time" job. That is largely the reason for the light posting of late.

An old friend from High School has doggedly been tracking me down, and it looks like we might hang out this weekend for the first time in (gulp!) twenty years.

Hearing from him has been a much needed reminder that I am often not good with taking the time out to see those who are close to me. We tend to always say yes to work in this business, because you don't know when the offers will stop coming in. I think I need to have a little more faith in myself and trust that people will still call me even if I say no once in a while.

I am struggling to find a balance behind work and having a life. The past few months have been much more with the work than they have been with the life. I think i am still freaked out about last summer and the three months sans income. But right now I feel the no life thing is getting pretty effing old.

I have to take a moment to say how much I love the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse. I really don't know what I would do without these ladies in my life. A tender shoulder and tough love. What more could a guy ask for?

I have spent the past two days at Theatre On The Run in Arlington, loading in and teching 37 Stones for Charter Theatre. Monday night I was certain my part of it was going to be a total disaster, but we cued through the whole show this evening and I am actually pretty happy with the results. We will see how it all holds together in the run tomorrow night.

It is late, and time for me to go to bed.

Peace out bitches!

Nope!

Don't get women.

Not at all.

Go See This

I am in tech both nights, but you folks have no excuse!

The Best Thing About Online Dating

You both know what you are there for.

Ughh!

Beginning of day 4.

Hour 45.

14 more to go today.

"Part Time" job my ass!

Off To The Big Easy

I leave for the airport in about 30 minutes.

I am doing a little Lighting Designer unplugged thing and not taking my laptop, so there will be no posting until I return.

Be good to one another while I am gone.

Peace out!

So This Must Be What We Meant....

...when we said we were bringing Freedom and Democracy to the Iraqi people.

An article in Wednesday's NY Times reported that Lt General Aboud Quanbar, who runs both the Ministry of Defense and the Ministry of the Interior in Iraq, has unveiled a plan to stop sectarian bloodshed in Baghdad by ordering tens of thousands of residents to leave homes they are occupying illegally.

Other parts of General Quanbar's plan include closing the borders with Syria and Iran, as well as having the government break into homes and cars it (emphasis mine) deemed dangerous, open mail and eavesdrop on telephone calls.

Hmmmm. Can't you just taste the Freedom?

Why I Prefer To Work At Home

In the room next to my office, there has been an alarm going off for two days.

It seems far more annoying to me today, but that may be because I am a wee bit hung over this morning.

Stuff

The "part time job" I started in late December has been eating up more and more of my time of late. I am not sure what the long term is going to be with this thing.

I am really excited about upcoming projects, including 37 Stones with Charter Theatre, and The Oracle for African Continuum (for which I am also designing scenery).

I will not even attempt to weigh in on the Helen Hayes noms. But really, how many theatres with an annual operating budget below 8 million are represented?

In New Orleans soon. Soon.

Six Days From Now...

...I will be laying face down in a pool of my own vomit*.

ie. I will be in New Orleans for Mardi Gras.


*I am of course, kidding. We at The Lighting Designer's Life encourage everyone to drink responsibly.

And BTW...

...where the hell did Friday go?

Aren't I Too Old For This?

And by this, I mean pulling an all nighter to get a project done.

LD is a wee bit cranky this evening.

Other Stuff Going On This Week

I have a ticket to see Shakespeare's Rape Of Lucrece at WSC Friday night. The show was written and directed by two members of the MSGAP*.

I have begun to bury the hatchet with someone I was once very close to.

I have a one-off I am designing at the Atlas this weekend. The first bit of design work in the new year.

In a little over nine days I will be in New Orleans. But really, who's counting.

I discovered tonight that I have a blog reader I was previously un-aware of. Hopefully they are not the person who has been posting anonymously the past few days.

*MSGAP: Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse

How You Know It Is Too Damned Cold Out

I actually listened to a whole Doors song while walking home because I didn't want to unzip my coat to reach my iPod.

And Sometimes You Just Stand There...

Dan: " You know sometimes it's worth it. Standing there taking all of those pies in the face sometimes really pays off."

Pause

Dan: " So how was your day?"

Casey: "And sometimes you just stand there. Hip deep in pie."

Sports Night*


*I loaned my copies of Sports Night, so I may have paraphrased the first part of that quote a little.

:)

:)


That is all.

Good Stuff

If you want to see the show that will win the 2008 Helen Hayes Awards for Outstanding Scenery and Lighting Designs, go see this show.

It is the best design work I have ever seen.

Grrr!

As you probably remember, in October I took the exam to be admitted into United Scenic Artists, the union that represents designers of scenery, lighting, and costumes for theatre, opera, dance, film, and television. The following week I received notice that the exam committee was recommending me for union membership, and a vote would be made by the general membership.

And that was the last I heard from the union.

After several months of waiting, I finally called the union office on Friday, to be told that none of the people who had passed the exam had been brought on the floor at the November meeting, or at the January meeting. So now I wait until February 20th, when hopefully the office staff will have it's shit together enough to put my application into the meeting agenda.

And these are the people who are supposed to have a grasp on my pension and welfare?

So far, I am not impressed.

Hey, Where The Hell Ya Been?

I looked at the ol blog a few days ago and realized I did not post at all in the month of January. I would love to say it was because I was too busy having wild monkey-sex with some really hot chick, but alas I have no such excuse. Indeed, I have no excuse at all. I was busy with work, but no more than usual. I have just been a wanker.

So what have I been up to?

I spent the Christmas break with S and her mother. Several days of doing nothing but eating good food, drinking good wine and hanging out. Exactly what the doctor ordered.

The beginning of January was spent settling into a new part time work situation. Perhaps more on that later.

The end part of January was spent assisting D on Jitney at Ford's Theatre, and then on Crave at Signature Theatre. Both shows were great experiences, and a wonderful reminder that the production process does not have to be fraught with angst.

And in case you were worried I had gone out and developed a social life while you were not looking, have no fear. Such an event does not seem likely to occur, does it?

What is coming up for LD? In two weeks I fly to New Orleans to visit S for Mardi Gras. My liver may not make it back intact.

In March I am designing lighting for this show at Charter Theatre, then flying back out to California to light Lend Me A Tenor at Towne Hall Theatre.

I am also launching on a decorating project in the cave, er I mean apartment.

But right now I have to finish my NEA/TCG grant application and finish importing my CD collection into iTunes.

More later.

Peace out, bitches.

Oh! Dear! God!

I am such a pussy!

And In A Marketing Sort Of Way

My Designer website.

Turning The Corner

At Playbill this evening, I had a brief discussion with a director whose work I admire very much. That forty-five second exchange left me feeling better about my choice of career than I have in months.

The Fall was stupidly busy. It was also frequently busy with things that, although they paid really well, had little if anything to do with being a designer. Given that I went through a lot of trouble and no small expense to become a part of United Scenic Artists, the union that represents theatrical designers, the lack of design work has been exceptionally discouraging.

Having that moment this evening of "Oh yeah, you are someone I would be really excited to work with!" has recharged the ole battery a bit and I feel motivated to try and find more design work.

Now I just have to get better at marketing/ publicity...