It always happens when I return from Alaska. I am stuck in that time zone, which would be fine, except that I have a show loading in in seven hours, and another that needs to go into the shop this week, and I will be crashing hard core in a few hours.
The other part of this that sucks is there is little to do at 5:00 AM other than work or sit about thinking. The things I am thinking about are my conundrum. The clarity I seemed to have while I was out of town has vanished like Angelina Jolie's thong*.
My posting may be a bit sparse the next couple of weeks. I leave Friday to work in Minneapolis for two weeks, and have a lot to do before then.
*I have no idea what the hell that even means.
Monday, October 31, 2005
On My Way Home
After almost three weeks in Juneau, I am finally on my way home. The show opened last night, and though there were a few technical hitches during the second act, the audience seemed to really enjoy themselves. I often have difficulty looking at my own work, but I was able to relax and take pleasure in both my work and everyone else’s.
ECAG and I went looking for bears yesterday. A momma bear with two cubs have been seen hanging around Mendenhall Glacier, so we headed out to the valley to see if we could spot them. We arrived to find a group of people staring across the road into the trees, and a park ranger preventing anyone from going up the trail. When we asked, we were told the bears had crossed the parking lot about an hour before we arrived, and they had gone up into a tree to take a nap. We waited for quite a while to see if they would re-emerge, but though I was able to see the movement of the mother in the trees, there was no bona fide bear sighting. Maybe next time.
ECAG and I went looking for bears yesterday. A momma bear with two cubs have been seen hanging around Mendenhall Glacier, so we headed out to the valley to see if we could spot them. We arrived to find a group of people staring across the road into the trees, and a park ranger preventing anyone from going up the trail. When we asked, we were told the bears had crossed the parking lot about an hour before we arrived, and they had gone up into a tree to take a nap. We waited for quite a while to see if they would re-emerge, but though I was able to see the movement of the mother in the trees, there was no bona fide bear sighting. Maybe next time.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Shame
One of the blogs I read regularly is Chairbourne Stranger, posted by a US serviceman stationed in Iraq. It has been interesting to get an insider’s perspective on the situation there, and although I have no idea who he is, I have begun to feel as if I know him somewhat.
So when I read this post, I almost cried. And then I became so angry I couldn’t speak. It is one thing for our nation’s armed forces to have to face the horrors of war in actions that protect the people of this country, but I know the invasion of Iraq has done nothing to make the world safer for US citizens. In fact it has done much to make it less so.
We as a nation are in the wrong. I know it is trite to use comparisons with the Nazis, but by our unwarranted invasion, that is the level we have sunk to. I am personally ashamed to be a citizen of the United States. And I am doubly ashamed that people such as this soldier have to experience the trauma of war for reasons not worthy of their sacrifice.
So for him, and all those who are fighting and dying in this horrible and meaningless war, I offer the following song from Eric Bogle.
Willy McBride
Well how do you do, young Willy McBride.
Do you mind if I sit here down by your graveside,
And rest here awhile, neath the warm summer sun,
I’ve been walking all day, and I’m nearly done.
And I see by your gravestone, you were only nineteen,
When you joined the brave fallen, in nineteen sixteen.
Well I hope you died well, and I hope you died clean
Or young Willy McBride, was it slow and obscene.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Did you leave any wife, or a sweetheart behind?
In some faithful heart are you forever enshrined?
Although you died back in nineteen sixteen,
In that faithful heart, are you forever nineteen?
Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Enclosed there forever, behind a glass pane.
In an old photograph torn and battered and stained,
And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Oh the sun how it shines on the green fields of France.
There’s a warm summer breeze makes the red poppies dance.
See how the sun shines from under the clouds.
There’s no gas, no barbed wire, there’s no guns firing now.
But here in this graveyard it’s still no man’s land,
As the countless white crosses in mute witness stand,
To man’s blind indifference, to his fellow man,
To a whole generation that were butchered and damned.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Now young Willy McBride, I can’t help wonder why.
Did all those who lie here know why they died?
Did they really believe, when they answered the calls,
Did they really believe, that this war would end wars?
For the sorrow, the suffering, the glory, the pain,
The killing and the dying, they were all done in vain.
For young Willy McBride, it’s all happened again.
And again and again and again and again.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Peace.
Please.
So when I read this post, I almost cried. And then I became so angry I couldn’t speak. It is one thing for our nation’s armed forces to have to face the horrors of war in actions that protect the people of this country, but I know the invasion of Iraq has done nothing to make the world safer for US citizens. In fact it has done much to make it less so.
We as a nation are in the wrong. I know it is trite to use comparisons with the Nazis, but by our unwarranted invasion, that is the level we have sunk to. I am personally ashamed to be a citizen of the United States. And I am doubly ashamed that people such as this soldier have to experience the trauma of war for reasons not worthy of their sacrifice.
So for him, and all those who are fighting and dying in this horrible and meaningless war, I offer the following song from Eric Bogle.
Willy McBride
Well how do you do, young Willy McBride.
Do you mind if I sit here down by your graveside,
And rest here awhile, neath the warm summer sun,
I’ve been walking all day, and I’m nearly done.
And I see by your gravestone, you were only nineteen,
When you joined the brave fallen, in nineteen sixteen.
Well I hope you died well, and I hope you died clean
Or young Willy McBride, was it slow and obscene.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Did you leave any wife, or a sweetheart behind?
In some faithful heart are you forever enshrined?
Although you died back in nineteen sixteen,
In that faithful heart, are you forever nineteen?
Or are you a stranger without even a name,
Enclosed there forever, behind a glass pane.
In an old photograph torn and battered and stained,
And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Oh the sun how it shines on the green fields of France.
There’s a warm summer breeze makes the red poppies dance.
See how the sun shines from under the clouds.
There’s no gas, no barbed wire, there’s no guns firing now.
But here in this graveyard it’s still no man’s land,
As the countless white crosses in mute witness stand,
To man’s blind indifference, to his fellow man,
To a whole generation that were butchered and damned.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Now young Willy McBride, I can’t help wonder why.
Did all those who lie here know why they died?
Did they really believe, when they answered the calls,
Did they really believe, that this war would end wars?
For the sorrow, the suffering, the glory, the pain,
The killing and the dying, they were all done in vain.
For young Willy McBride, it’s all happened again.
And again and again and again and again.
Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the fife lowly,
Did they sound the death march as they lowered you down?
Did the band play the last post and chorus?
Did the pipes play the flowers of the forest?
Peace.
Please.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Still No Bears
Although there was a picture of two in a tree on the front page of the Juneau newspaper yesterday. I am going to try and go out tommorrow to the glacier, where they seem to be hanging out.
Starting to second guess my clarity where my conundrum is concerned.
Though I don't have contracts yet, I have verbal agreements for two more shows here. Add that to the assisting work I have with D and a few other projects I have going (all but one of which are out of town), and by the middle of March I will have done fifteen shows this season.
Fifteen shows in seven and a half months. While I am certainly happy to have work, and to be actually making a living at what I love, it can be somewhat exhausting to be almost constantly in tech. Add to that the fact that I have to travel out of town so much to make a living, despite all the theatre being produced in DC, and it is small wonder I have trouble maintaining a personal life.
I am not complaining, really, just making an observation. I have no delusions about getting rich working in the theatre, but I do sometimes wish that individual gigs paid well enough that I could take fewer of them. Not that I know which ones I would turn down. I am excited about all of the projects i am on, so what is the answer? Maybe i just need to hire an asssistant.
I am babbling, and it is time to go back in the theatre.
Peace.
Starting to second guess my clarity where my conundrum is concerned.
Though I don't have contracts yet, I have verbal agreements for two more shows here. Add that to the assisting work I have with D and a few other projects I have going (all but one of which are out of town), and by the middle of March I will have done fifteen shows this season.
Fifteen shows in seven and a half months. While I am certainly happy to have work, and to be actually making a living at what I love, it can be somewhat exhausting to be almost constantly in tech. Add to that the fact that I have to travel out of town so much to make a living, despite all the theatre being produced in DC, and it is small wonder I have trouble maintaining a personal life.
I am not complaining, really, just making an observation. I have no delusions about getting rich working in the theatre, but I do sometimes wish that individual gigs paid well enough that I could take fewer of them. Not that I know which ones I would turn down. I am excited about all of the projects i am on, so what is the answer? Maybe i just need to hire an asssistant.
I am babbling, and it is time to go back in the theatre.
Peace.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Quick Upate
Number of bears seen: 0
One member of the cast has now seen four.
I think they are hiding from me.
One member of the cast has now seen four.
I think they are hiding from me.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
The Turning Point
Yesterday evening, I was tired and a little bit stressed. I was waiting to meet with P, the director for Twelfth Night, to do a little show and tell of the things we had to work with, and I was anxious about what his reaction would be. I was sitting in the lobby updating some paperwork, and suddenly I wanted to talk to someone. Someone who would listen and understand. But it was far too late to call.
And the person I wanted to call was not S.
Some of you may understand the degree to which the Universe has shifted.
And the person I wanted to call was not S.
Some of you may understand the degree to which the Universe has shifted.
Monday, October 17, 2005
In Other News
I seem to be figuring out my conundrum. The way ahead could be fraught with danger.
Confused?
Me not so much anymore. Now just nervous.
Confused?
Me not so much anymore. Now just nervous.
The Week So Far
I have spent the last few days getting all the lights hung, plugged in and tested. I have had a great crew here to help me out, all lined up for me by ECAG. Up until the end of today, I have been a little stressed about getting everything done. One piece of scenery proved to be more complicated than had originally been anticipated, and so I have had to wait for it to be done to move forward on my end of things.
Today we focused the show. As my regular readers know, I usually hate the whole focusing process. It never seems to go fast enough, no matter how good the crew is, and I spend most of the day second guessing the choices I have made. But as I have also been acting as Master Electrician on the show, I have been second guessing those choices for days now.
So the focus went great, the crew moved at a good speed, and I was able to see that what I was planning was indeed going to work. Now we just hope the director likes it. This is my first time working with him Designer to Director, so I have been somewhat nervous about whether he will like what I am doing, and some of my angst this week with the delays is the concern there would be no time to change anything if he looks at it and says, “Yeah, hate that.”
But life here has not been all work and no play. I went on a long hike yesterday with ECAG as we searched for bears. No bear sightings, but we did see the aforementioned porcupine, and some spectacular views on one of the old mine trails above downtown.
It rained for the first three days I was here, and by the end of Thursday I was like, “Why the hell do people live here.” But Friday morning I got up and headed out to the theatre, and the clouds had disappeared and the sun was out and I had that moment of, “Oh yeah, this is why.” Alaska is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. I am not nearly articulate enough to describe it, but Friday night, as I stood on the side of a mountain staring at a moon and stars that were closer and more real than any I had seen in my entire life, I saw such beauty that it was painful. You can’t imagine.
It is strange how easily I settle into being here. I really like the theatre, the town and the people. I have made friends here that I would consider visiting even if I were not coming for work. I have been told that part of the Artistic Director’s master plan is to get me to move here, and though I can’t imagine a scenario in which that would happen, a part of me knows there are far worse choices I could make.
I am rambling, and it is time to go to bed.
Peace In yer crease.
Oh yeah, the bonehead who robbed the bank here a few days ago.
Guy signed his name to the note he handed the teller.
Today we focused the show. As my regular readers know, I usually hate the whole focusing process. It never seems to go fast enough, no matter how good the crew is, and I spend most of the day second guessing the choices I have made. But as I have also been acting as Master Electrician on the show, I have been second guessing those choices for days now.
So the focus went great, the crew moved at a good speed, and I was able to see that what I was planning was indeed going to work. Now we just hope the director likes it. This is my first time working with him Designer to Director, so I have been somewhat nervous about whether he will like what I am doing, and some of my angst this week with the delays is the concern there would be no time to change anything if he looks at it and says, “Yeah, hate that.”
But life here has not been all work and no play. I went on a long hike yesterday with ECAG as we searched for bears. No bear sightings, but we did see the aforementioned porcupine, and some spectacular views on one of the old mine trails above downtown.
It rained for the first three days I was here, and by the end of Thursday I was like, “Why the hell do people live here.” But Friday morning I got up and headed out to the theatre, and the clouds had disappeared and the sun was out and I had that moment of, “Oh yeah, this is why.” Alaska is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. I am not nearly articulate enough to describe it, but Friday night, as I stood on the side of a mountain staring at a moon and stars that were closer and more real than any I had seen in my entire life, I saw such beauty that it was painful. You can’t imagine.
It is strange how easily I settle into being here. I really like the theatre, the town and the people. I have made friends here that I would consider visiting even if I were not coming for work. I have been told that part of the Artistic Director’s master plan is to get me to move here, and though I can’t imagine a scenario in which that would happen, a part of me knows there are far worse choices I could make.
I am rambling, and it is time to go to bed.
Peace In yer crease.
Oh yeah, the bonehead who robbed the bank here a few days ago.
Guy signed his name to the note he handed the teller.
Wildlife Sightings:
Eagles: 0
Bears: 0
Porcupines: 1
Drunken Juneau dwellers: Too many to count.
Very annoyed to have not seen any bears yet.
Bears: 0
Porcupines: 1
Drunken Juneau dwellers: Too many to count.
Very annoyed to have not seen any bears yet.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
World's Dumbest Criminals
Yesterday, a bank in downtown Juneau was robbed.
Let us pause to consider this while we remember that there is no way to drive in or out of Juneau. And the town only has 32,000 people in it.
Where does this moron think he is going to go?
Let us pause to consider this while we remember that there is no way to drive in or out of Juneau. And the town only has 32,000 people in it.
Where does this moron think he is going to go?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Juneau, Yet Again
Part 3: Juneau.
On the flight from Seattle to Juneau, I figured out why it is I hate that leg of the trip so much. It is not that it takes five and a half hours, but instead that you have to take off and land three times. I hate to fly because I hate take-off and landing, it scares the hell out of me. By the time the plane touches down at the Juneau airport, I would rather stay there than get on another plane ever again.
My flight got in at 7:15 PM local time (11:15 PM EST). ECAG met me at the airport with the costume designer, A, in tow. We made two quick stops to provision the two apartments the theatre had secured, one of which I would be staying in while I am here. Then we toodled off to the Hangar for some dinner. Fried calamari and a Woodchuck amber. MMMM.
I am still a day behind in my reporting, but I probably won't catch up anytime soon. A very long day tommorrow, and the beginning of tech looming I will try to post at least to say I have not yet been eaten by bears.
My happy thought for the day came early this morning upon checking my cell phone messages.
Peace in yer crease, ya'll.
On the flight from Seattle to Juneau, I figured out why it is I hate that leg of the trip so much. It is not that it takes five and a half hours, but instead that you have to take off and land three times. I hate to fly because I hate take-off and landing, it scares the hell out of me. By the time the plane touches down at the Juneau airport, I would rather stay there than get on another plane ever again.
My flight got in at 7:15 PM local time (11:15 PM EST). ECAG met me at the airport with the costume designer, A, in tow. We made two quick stops to provision the two apartments the theatre had secured, one of which I would be staying in while I am here. Then we toodled off to the Hangar for some dinner. Fried calamari and a Woodchuck amber. MMMM.
I am still a day behind in my reporting, but I probably won't catch up anytime soon. A very long day tommorrow, and the beginning of tech looming I will try to post at least to say I have not yet been eaten by bears.
My happy thought for the day came early this morning upon checking my cell phone messages.
Peace in yer crease, ya'll.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
To Juneau, Yet Again:
Part One: National Airport
It is only 6:30 AM and I am already annoyed.
I left the house at 5:15, having been up all night because first I couldn’t sleep and then, when I could, I was afraid I would oversleep. As I was lugging my bag and suitcase the five blocks to the metro station, one of the wheels on the suitcase (which I borrowed from the Vegetarian) came off. I proceeded to drag it the rest of the way, fairly certain the handle would be snapping off at any moment.
When I arrived at National Airport, I came off the elevator right at the Alaska Airlines check in station. On my three previous trips, I have used the electronic check in to print my boarding passes and enter my frequent flier number, and then dealt with the agents to check my bags. This morning, however, the people behind the counter were determined to help me through the whole process, so I handed over my ID and set the suitcase up on the scale.
“Your bag is over by about five pounds, sir.” Said the rather officious looking gentleman on the other side of the kiosk. “Is there something you can take out and put in your backpack?”
I now understood why it had felt like I was hauling around fifty pounds of dead weight behind me as I made my way to the airport.
“I have an empty box back here if you just want to check two items and distribute the weight.” Added the woman working with Officious Guy.
I started to pull the bag back off so I could figure out what five pound item I could remove and stick in my “backpack” (actually a soft briefcase, but what’s semantics when I am annoyed. Oh yeah, FUCKING EVERYTHING), when OC chimes in, “It’s a twenty five dollars overage fee, sir.”
“Well I don’t have twenty five dollars to give you.” I snapped back, choking down the remainder of my thought “So why don’t you STFU before I take this five pounds and stuff it down your throat.”
“Would you like the box sir?” asked Helpful Lady.
“That would be great.”
I pulled out some jeans, a few shirts and my camera and stuffed them in the box. I hastily filled out the ID tags for the luggage while Helpful Lady taped up my box. I got my boarding pass and headed for security.
I was so flustered by this experience that I forgot to have them do the whole frequent flier thing, so I am hoping I can get that dealt with at the help desk in Seattle. At the end of this trip, I will have flown on Alaska Airlines, since last November, enough miles to circumnavigate the globe. I am hoping to use those miles for free air travel so I can actually take a vacation next year. The bastards better give me my miles.
Part Two: Seattle
12:35 PM Local time. (3:35 EST) Much less annoyed.
The flight was delightfully uneventful. On a mostly full flight I had an empty seat between the woman sitting at the window and myself (I prefer aisle seats when flying), so there wasn’t the cramped sardine feeling one usually gets in coach. I slept for most of the almost five hour flight, waking up only when the beverage and food carts came trundling by.
I was awake long enough to notice the woman’s fabulous shoes and handbag.*
We actually arrived half an hour early in Seattle, so I was able to get my frequent flier miles adjusted. I spent about 45 minutes looking for a T-Mobile wi-fi** connection so I could check my email. In my quest, I discovered parts of the airport I had never seen before, including a series of columns with some very cool mosaic work on them. There is also a program here among the vendors that they will collect money for hurricane relief, and match every dollar donated. For whatever reason, that little bit of human compassion put me in a much better mood.
When I am traveling by myself, which is most of the time, I have found I retreat further into myself than usual. I am not sure why that is. I think it may be because I am somewhat obsessive about travel details, times, places, flight numbers, and I have a hard time feeling relaxed until I have made my last connection to wherever I am going. I probably just need to get my ass stranded somewhere and get over it. Just, not this trip.
Part 3 Tommorrow.
* And yes, I know this is why people think I'm gay. I'm OK with that. Flattered, in fact.
** I signed up for T-Mobile partly because of their nationwide coverage, especially in airports. So I am a little annoyed that their airport coverage seems confined to the first class lounges, especially when you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Starbucks in Seatac.
It is only 6:30 AM and I am already annoyed.
I left the house at 5:15, having been up all night because first I couldn’t sleep and then, when I could, I was afraid I would oversleep. As I was lugging my bag and suitcase the five blocks to the metro station, one of the wheels on the suitcase (which I borrowed from the Vegetarian) came off. I proceeded to drag it the rest of the way, fairly certain the handle would be snapping off at any moment.
When I arrived at National Airport, I came off the elevator right at the Alaska Airlines check in station. On my three previous trips, I have used the electronic check in to print my boarding passes and enter my frequent flier number, and then dealt with the agents to check my bags. This morning, however, the people behind the counter were determined to help me through the whole process, so I handed over my ID and set the suitcase up on the scale.
“Your bag is over by about five pounds, sir.” Said the rather officious looking gentleman on the other side of the kiosk. “Is there something you can take out and put in your backpack?”
I now understood why it had felt like I was hauling around fifty pounds of dead weight behind me as I made my way to the airport.
“I have an empty box back here if you just want to check two items and distribute the weight.” Added the woman working with Officious Guy.
I started to pull the bag back off so I could figure out what five pound item I could remove and stick in my “backpack” (actually a soft briefcase, but what’s semantics when I am annoyed. Oh yeah, FUCKING EVERYTHING), when OC chimes in, “It’s a twenty five dollars overage fee, sir.”
“Well I don’t have twenty five dollars to give you.” I snapped back, choking down the remainder of my thought “So why don’t you STFU before I take this five pounds and stuff it down your throat.”
“Would you like the box sir?” asked Helpful Lady.
“That would be great.”
I pulled out some jeans, a few shirts and my camera and stuffed them in the box. I hastily filled out the ID tags for the luggage while Helpful Lady taped up my box. I got my boarding pass and headed for security.
I was so flustered by this experience that I forgot to have them do the whole frequent flier thing, so I am hoping I can get that dealt with at the help desk in Seattle. At the end of this trip, I will have flown on Alaska Airlines, since last November, enough miles to circumnavigate the globe. I am hoping to use those miles for free air travel so I can actually take a vacation next year. The bastards better give me my miles.
Part Two: Seattle
12:35 PM Local time. (3:35 EST) Much less annoyed.
The flight was delightfully uneventful. On a mostly full flight I had an empty seat between the woman sitting at the window and myself (I prefer aisle seats when flying), so there wasn’t the cramped sardine feeling one usually gets in coach. I slept for most of the almost five hour flight, waking up only when the beverage and food carts came trundling by.
I was awake long enough to notice the woman’s fabulous shoes and handbag.*
We actually arrived half an hour early in Seattle, so I was able to get my frequent flier miles adjusted. I spent about 45 minutes looking for a T-Mobile wi-fi** connection so I could check my email. In my quest, I discovered parts of the airport I had never seen before, including a series of columns with some very cool mosaic work on them. There is also a program here among the vendors that they will collect money for hurricane relief, and match every dollar donated. For whatever reason, that little bit of human compassion put me in a much better mood.
When I am traveling by myself, which is most of the time, I have found I retreat further into myself than usual. I am not sure why that is. I think it may be because I am somewhat obsessive about travel details, times, places, flight numbers, and I have a hard time feeling relaxed until I have made my last connection to wherever I am going. I probably just need to get my ass stranded somewhere and get over it. Just, not this trip.
Part 3 Tommorrow.
* And yes, I know this is why people think I'm gay. I'm OK with that. Flattered, in fact.
** I signed up for T-Mobile partly because of their nationwide coverage, especially in airports. So I am a little annoyed that their airport coverage seems confined to the first class lounges, especially when you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Starbucks in Seatac.
I Am Here!
For those of you monitoring this for news of my health, I made it in to Juneau just fine. There are observations to share, but those will have to wait till later.
Peace in yer crease.
Peace in yer crease.
Monday, October 10, 2005
So....
It's a quarter of three in the AM, and because of my already whacked out sleep schedule, I am up. I have to leave for the airport in three hours to fly to rainy Juneau, Alaska, where I am designing Twelfth Night for Perseverance Theatre. I will be there for a little under three weeks.
I am excited about the gig, just dreading the 11 and a half hours on a plane it takes to get there.
This trip begins a stint of travel that will also include trips to Minneapolis, MN, to assist on a show for Beverley Emmons, and Lafayette, CA to design a new adaptation of Peter Pan. I have a week at home between each of these trips, but I am doing a show in the week I am back from Alaska, and the week back from Minneapolis is Thanksgiving. So I am effectivly away from home from tommorrow morning until the beginning of December.
It's not that I mind traveling for work, in fact it's one of the things I really love about what I do. But what is disheartening is that I have to travel in order to make a living as a designer in this town. This town, with all of the theatre that is produced here, cannot seem to provide more than a handful of people working as designers with a living wage. I know many actors and directors are in the same boat, but this is my blog, not theirs.
The other somewhat unfortunate thing about leaving now for two months is that I have begun things in my personal life that are now on hold for weeks at a time. And who knows what the situations will be like when I return. Because timing is everything in life.
I guess that is my fault really, for trying to have a personal life while trying to push a career, especially a career in the arts. I had been activly avoiding the whole personal life thing for a while, but sometimes things just move on their own, whether you want them to or not.
All of that movement has caught me off guard, and I am confused on several fronts. But those are tales best told at another time, if they ever are.
You didn't really think I was going to get through a blog post about myself without being cryptic, did you?
The things I am looking forward to in my travels, other than working on the shows:
Hanging out with ECAG in her new hood (that's right, I said hood)
Seeing Perseverance's new TD, a friend of mine from school.
Smoked salmon hash and eggs at the diner.
Hopefully seeing some bears before they go in to hibernate.
Catching up with Speed in Minneapolis.
New placemats from the San Fransisco Museum of Modern Art.
Seeing Brundibar at Brekley Rep.
Next time I post will probably be from Alaska.
Happy Trails
I am excited about the gig, just dreading the 11 and a half hours on a plane it takes to get there.
This trip begins a stint of travel that will also include trips to Minneapolis, MN, to assist on a show for Beverley Emmons, and Lafayette, CA to design a new adaptation of Peter Pan. I have a week at home between each of these trips, but I am doing a show in the week I am back from Alaska, and the week back from Minneapolis is Thanksgiving. So I am effectivly away from home from tommorrow morning until the beginning of December.
It's not that I mind traveling for work, in fact it's one of the things I really love about what I do. But what is disheartening is that I have to travel in order to make a living as a designer in this town. This town, with all of the theatre that is produced here, cannot seem to provide more than a handful of people working as designers with a living wage. I know many actors and directors are in the same boat, but this is my blog, not theirs.
The other somewhat unfortunate thing about leaving now for two months is that I have begun things in my personal life that are now on hold for weeks at a time. And who knows what the situations will be like when I return. Because timing is everything in life.
I guess that is my fault really, for trying to have a personal life while trying to push a career, especially a career in the arts. I had been activly avoiding the whole personal life thing for a while, but sometimes things just move on their own, whether you want them to or not.
All of that movement has caught me off guard, and I am confused on several fronts. But those are tales best told at another time, if they ever are.
You didn't really think I was going to get through a blog post about myself without being cryptic, did you?
The things I am looking forward to in my travels, other than working on the shows:
Hanging out with ECAG in her new hood (that's right, I said hood)
Seeing Perseverance's new TD, a friend of mine from school.
Smoked salmon hash and eggs at the diner.
Hopefully seeing some bears before they go in to hibernate.
Catching up with Speed in Minneapolis.
New placemats from the San Fransisco Museum of Modern Art.
Seeing Brundibar at Brekley Rep.
Next time I post will probably be from Alaska.
Happy Trails
Yes, I Take Too Many Of These, But This Was Just Funny
| Male Best Friend You scored 28 despair, 25 relationship potential, 100 feelings, and 100 patience |
| You're always there, you're nice, you're the shoulder to cry on, you get along just fine, why won't she/he date you? you're the "male best friend" DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired. |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Why Are You Single Test written by luminiscent on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
At Last, My Evil Genius Is Recognized! Bwaa Ha Haa!
| TEH EBILEST You scored 79% Evil, 75% Violent, and 83 %Heartless! |
| You are so Evil, Cruel, and Heartless you are BEYOND evil overlord. Even the Evilest of evil overlords looks up to you and strives to be just like you. You are the definition of Evil Overlord and your picture should be right there beside the description in the dictionary. Now go out, gather your army, and lead them to destroy ALL! |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Are you and Evil Overlord Test written by iirimarauko on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Sunday, October 09, 2005
More Mail For W.
Mr. President,
I am responding to an article in The Washington Post detailing the Senate's adoption of new limits on interrogation of detainees being held in US custody. In the article, it is reported that members of your administration, including the Vice President, had put pressure on Senate Republicans to prevent the restrictions, and that you are now threatening to veto the bill.
How is it that you and your administration do not know that the humane treatment of prisoners is the ONLY morally acceptable choice.
Mistreatment, either physical or psychological, is wrong. Under any circumstances. Just wrong. Period.
That you do not know that is just further proof of you unfitness to lead this nation.
Mr. President, I call once again for the resignation of you and your entire administration. You do not represent the leadership, political or moral, that we as a people expect of our President.
I am responding to an article in The Washington Post detailing the Senate's adoption of new limits on interrogation of detainees being held in US custody. In the article, it is reported that members of your administration, including the Vice President, had put pressure on Senate Republicans to prevent the restrictions, and that you are now threatening to veto the bill.
How is it that you and your administration do not know that the humane treatment of prisoners is the ONLY morally acceptable choice.
Mistreatment, either physical or psychological, is wrong. Under any circumstances. Just wrong. Period.
That you do not know that is just further proof of you unfitness to lead this nation.
Mr. President, I call once again for the resignation of you and your entire administration. You do not represent the leadership, political or moral, that we as a people expect of our President.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Other Good Thing About Last Night
I got to hang out with the cast after the show, as well as Lucky Spinster and her Gentleman Caller.
Glad to see my Big Blog Sister happy.
Glad to see my Big Blog Sister happy.
Return To The Scene Of The Crime
I rarely see a show I have worked on after it has opened. I am generally too busy with other work anyways, and I find it difficult to look at my own work after I can't fix it any more. The few times I have been back to see my work, I can only see what isn't right, what I missed, or what isn't being done right by either the actors or the board-op/ stage manager.
So imagine my surprise when I went back to see Upshot last night over at Church Street Theatre. I knew they had been having really small houses, despite the great press the show has been getting, and I wanted to at least show my support for the incredible cast.
The show really held together, the cues (and the actors) were all in the right places, and I didn't see a thing that, given the same resources, I would change. I think it is some of the best work I have ever done, and it was a relief to see myself growing and moving forward as an artist.
If you haven't seen it, it is running through next weekend, and is well worth the trip. And not just for my work, but for the amazing work of all three cast members.
So imagine my surprise when I went back to see Upshot last night over at Church Street Theatre. I knew they had been having really small houses, despite the great press the show has been getting, and I wanted to at least show my support for the incredible cast.
The show really held together, the cues (and the actors) were all in the right places, and I didn't see a thing that, given the same resources, I would change. I think it is some of the best work I have ever done, and it was a relief to see myself growing and moving forward as an artist.
If you haven't seen it, it is running through next weekend, and is well worth the trip. And not just for my work, but for the amazing work of all three cast members.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
My Second Happy Thought For The Day
From Robert Fulghum's website:
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -
That myth is more potent than history,
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That hope always triumphs over experience -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
As for my first happy thought, that is a secret.
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -
That myth is more potent than history,
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That hope always triumphs over experience -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
As for my first happy thought, that is a secret.
Synchronicity
Yes, I probably spelled the title wrong.
One of the things I love about this whole blog phenomenon, is even though I will probably never meet most of the people whose blogs I read, I seem to share a remarkable similarity with people regarding what we all hope, dream and fear.
I just read this post over at Waiter Rant. He reflects on the demons haunting him; fear of spending his life alone; wondering if his life has any meaning aside from mere existence. I know I wrestle with those same issues, and write about them on this blog ( although certainly with much less elegance*), and I see these same sentiments reflected in the blogs of others.
So the lesson is we are all in the same boat. We all want to live a peaceful life, have someone who loves us, and have an impact on the world beyond ourselves.
And for those of you who doubt that is the life you are living, I offer this old Suffi tale.
There was a man who lived a good life. The gods wanted to reward him for this and told the man they would grant him one wish. The man thought about it and then replied, "I would like to go through the world doing good for others and not know it."
The gods thought this was such a good idea, they granted this wish to everyone.
You have no idea the good you do in the world. Just try to give more positive energy than negative, and I promise it makes a difference. Even if it's just the comfort of knowing that someone else understands the way you feel.
Peace In Yer Crease.
* I am not fishing here. I long ago accepted that I was not good at everything I did. I am just fortunate to be good at the things I truly love.
One of the things I love about this whole blog phenomenon, is even though I will probably never meet most of the people whose blogs I read, I seem to share a remarkable similarity with people regarding what we all hope, dream and fear.
I just read this post over at Waiter Rant. He reflects on the demons haunting him; fear of spending his life alone; wondering if his life has any meaning aside from mere existence. I know I wrestle with those same issues, and write about them on this blog ( although certainly with much less elegance*), and I see these same sentiments reflected in the blogs of others.
So the lesson is we are all in the same boat. We all want to live a peaceful life, have someone who loves us, and have an impact on the world beyond ourselves.
And for those of you who doubt that is the life you are living, I offer this old Suffi tale.
There was a man who lived a good life. The gods wanted to reward him for this and told the man they would grant him one wish. The man thought about it and then replied, "I would like to go through the world doing good for others and not know it."
The gods thought this was such a good idea, they granted this wish to everyone.
You have no idea the good you do in the world. Just try to give more positive energy than negative, and I promise it makes a difference. Even if it's just the comfort of knowing that someone else understands the way you feel.
Peace In Yer Crease.
* I am not fishing here. I long ago accepted that I was not good at everything I did. I am just fortunate to be good at the things I truly love.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
I Worry About Myself Sometimes
I just got my latest I-tunes reciept, and noticed I purchased "I Will Always Love You". Yes, the Whitney Houston version. And I love the song.
It is not the most embarassing thing in the ole music collection, though. God willing, nothing will ever push out Kylie Minogue's Fever CD from that category.
What's the most embaressing thing in your music collection?
It is not the most embarassing thing in the ole music collection, though. God willing, nothing will ever push out Kylie Minogue's Fever CD from that category.
What's the most embaressing thing in your music collection?
Shameless Plug
Print out this post to get $5 off the ticket price.
The World Premiere of
UpShot
by Ami Dayan
A darkly comedic story about a playwright who struggles to create a show about Earth’s last surviving human being. Things go ballistic when the “character” declares war on his creator’s world! A play about the power of creation in the face of destruction.
“To say Upshot is one cool piece of theatre would be accurate, but that statement alone would not do it justice... Unique ideas and presentation make Upstart a production you should include in your fall theatre plans.... more than worth a visit.”
--DC Theatre Reviews (www.dctheatrereviews.com)
“... the series of battles that ensue is heady fodder for the sort of viewer who wants to debate God vs. man, man vs. woman, art vs. life over a post-show espresso.”
--City Paper
“Forum Theatre-Dance, is continuing to present some fascinating experimental drama with their current Upshot... one hopes that the word gets around quickly to assure a successful run for this dynamic company. ”
“Shirley Serotsky shows the finest direction in her career...”
--AllArtsReview4U.com
October 6th – October 16th, 2005
Thursdays-Saturdays at 8pm / Sundays at 2pm
@ The Church Street Theater
1742 Church Street NW, Washington DC
Between 17th & 18th and Q & P Streets, N.W.
2 blocks from the Dupont Circle Metro Stop (Red Line)
director · Shirley Serotsky
featuring · Scott Graham, Jason Lott & Adrienne Nelson
designers · David C. Ghatan, Klyph Stanford, Michael Dove, Kenneth Gilbert, Austin Bragg, Benjamin Flaherty
stage management · Katie Clemmons
producers · Brent Lowder and Michael Dove
The World Premiere of
UpShot
by Ami Dayan
A darkly comedic story about a playwright who struggles to create a show about Earth’s last surviving human being. Things go ballistic when the “character” declares war on his creator’s world! A play about the power of creation in the face of destruction.
“To say Upshot is one cool piece of theatre would be accurate, but that statement alone would not do it justice... Unique ideas and presentation make Upstart a production you should include in your fall theatre plans.... more than worth a visit.”
--DC Theatre Reviews (www.dctheatrereviews.com)
“... the series of battles that ensue is heady fodder for the sort of viewer who wants to debate God vs. man, man vs. woman, art vs. life over a post-show espresso.”
--City Paper
“Forum Theatre-Dance, is continuing to present some fascinating experimental drama with their current Upshot... one hopes that the word gets around quickly to assure a successful run for this dynamic company. ”
“Shirley Serotsky shows the finest direction in her career...”
--AllArtsReview4U.com
October 6th – October 16th, 2005
Thursdays-Saturdays at 8pm / Sundays at 2pm
@ The Church Street Theater
1742 Church Street NW, Washington DC
Between 17th & 18th and Q & P Streets, N.W.
2 blocks from the Dupont Circle Metro Stop (Red Line)
director · Shirley Serotsky
featuring · Scott Graham, Jason Lott & Adrienne Nelson
designers · David C. Ghatan, Klyph Stanford, Michael Dove, Kenneth Gilbert, Austin Bragg, Benjamin Flaherty
stage management · Katie Clemmons
producers · Brent Lowder and Michael Dove
What Do You Know
| Obi-Wan Kenobi You scored 78% wisdom, 33% aggression, 51% power, and 81% morality! |
| You are one of the wisest Jedi of them all, and have had a very eventful career full of failures and successes. You are a skilled fighter, having defeated many powerful opponents in your time. You are not overly aggressive, though. You are more reserved and collected. Your sense of morality is without question, and you are a model Jedi. |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Famous Jedi or Sith Test written by SarumantheMad on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Ups And Downs
I am not allowed to blog about it, but I had a really great time yesterday evening.
So that is the up.
The downs: S and I don't seem to have gotten past our big fight from last week. The conversations now are short, strained, and not about anything real. She is planning to return to New Orleans next week, and I am hoping that will make things better, as she gets back to the life that has been on hold since Katrina hit.
I am not sure I will get to see her before she leaves, and I must admit to being bothered by the fact that she has made no effort to come down from Frederick to see me. I have made the trip up there once, but she has been in the area since before the hurricane hit, and you would think she could find some way to get down here.
Of course I feel extremely selfish even expressing that thought. And I suppose I am.
The other down I can't even write about.
Well, maybe I can. I am wondering if someone has just disappeared from my life. And if they have, why.
So that is the up.
The downs: S and I don't seem to have gotten past our big fight from last week. The conversations now are short, strained, and not about anything real. She is planning to return to New Orleans next week, and I am hoping that will make things better, as she gets back to the life that has been on hold since Katrina hit.
I am not sure I will get to see her before she leaves, and I must admit to being bothered by the fact that she has made no effort to come down from Frederick to see me. I have made the trip up there once, but she has been in the area since before the hurricane hit, and you would think she could find some way to get down here.
Of course I feel extremely selfish even expressing that thought. And I suppose I am.
The other down I can't even write about.
Well, maybe I can. I am wondering if someone has just disappeared from my life. And if they have, why.
Why I Am An Atheist
I have been trying to express this for a while now, and while it is not all there yet, I would like some feedback on this. A Warning: If you are deeply religious, you may find this somewhat offensive. It is not my intention to offend, but to illustrate my issues with religous ideas, and hopefully start a productive dialouge.
Here is my problem with the common Christian notion of God. We have this omnipotent being, who created mankind in his own image, endowed him with free will, and then cast him out of paradise for committing the sin of disobedience.
So we have this god who sits in judgment over his creation. Yet he sends his only son to die for their sins, because they are incapable of being worthy of salvation, of being morally perfect.
Let’s pause to consider this. God judges us, holds us to a standard we are incapable of obtaining because we were made imperfect. We were made imperfect by the same god who now measures our transgressions against him.
Say I build a clock. I choose the materials and craft it with my own hands. And say that clock fails to keep time, to behave in the way I expect it to. Do I have a right to be mad at the clock for it’s failure to meet my expectations, or should I instead be angry with the clock maker, i.e. me?
If we are truly incapable of achieving the moral perfection demanded by the Christian’s god, and need some outside savior, Jesus, to redeem us in the eyes of that god, then what is the fucking point of this entire exercise we call human existence? And if we needed this intermediary to obtain salvation, why did god wait so long to send him? Even if we accept the crackpot notion that the world is only a little over 5,000 years old, we have 3000 years of human existence before he got around to sending this savior, this “symbol of his unconditional love”. Am I the only one who thinks that’s a long time for people created by this supposed loving god to wait for their only chance of salvation?
This idea that god loves the world unconditionally also drives me nuts. If god truly loved his creations, we wouldn’t need a savior at all. The word “unconditional” means without prerequisites. I shouldn’t need to believe Jesus was the son of god to be saved, especially when I have been created to need salvation in the first place.
What do we need this god for, this god who judges us for failing to meet expectations we are incapable of living up to, because of the way he made us?
Some would argue that we have the capacity within ourselves to achieve this moral perfection, all we need is our discipline, our intellect, our introspection, and our reason. That mankind has within itself the means to this perfection, to redeem itself, as it were, I don’t argue. I believe it wholeheartedly. But if this is true, if we do have within ourselves the means to salvation, then what do we need god for?
And if god is operating under the clock worker model, building the world, winding it up and then leaving it to operate by itself, I question the need for god. If he is not willing to accept responsibility for the colossal fuck-up that is the human condition, then we certainly don’t need him.
Some would say the world was made perfectly, and mankind is what fucked it up. To that I would counter that the human race is not somehow magically separate from the rest of the world. We exist in it, and so if there is a god, he is responsible for what we have done to it.
I would like to believe there is a god, so I could confront him with the complete debacle he has created. And this is why I cannot accept the notion of a loving creator god. If there were such a god, empathy would be an innate human trait, not one that has to be learned.
There was an episode of Star Trek where one of the crew members died, and Data questioned Riker about why people had been more upset by Tasha Yar’s death than by the death of this crew member not many people had known. Riker responded “If we all felt the loss of those we don’t know as keenly as the loss of those we do, the history of humankind would have been entirely different."
Amen Brother.
Here is my problem with the common Christian notion of God. We have this omnipotent being, who created mankind in his own image, endowed him with free will, and then cast him out of paradise for committing the sin of disobedience.
So we have this god who sits in judgment over his creation. Yet he sends his only son to die for their sins, because they are incapable of being worthy of salvation, of being morally perfect.
Let’s pause to consider this. God judges us, holds us to a standard we are incapable of obtaining because we were made imperfect. We were made imperfect by the same god who now measures our transgressions against him.
Say I build a clock. I choose the materials and craft it with my own hands. And say that clock fails to keep time, to behave in the way I expect it to. Do I have a right to be mad at the clock for it’s failure to meet my expectations, or should I instead be angry with the clock maker, i.e. me?
If we are truly incapable of achieving the moral perfection demanded by the Christian’s god, and need some outside savior, Jesus, to redeem us in the eyes of that god, then what is the fucking point of this entire exercise we call human existence? And if we needed this intermediary to obtain salvation, why did god wait so long to send him? Even if we accept the crackpot notion that the world is only a little over 5,000 years old, we have 3000 years of human existence before he got around to sending this savior, this “symbol of his unconditional love”. Am I the only one who thinks that’s a long time for people created by this supposed loving god to wait for their only chance of salvation?
This idea that god loves the world unconditionally also drives me nuts. If god truly loved his creations, we wouldn’t need a savior at all. The word “unconditional” means without prerequisites. I shouldn’t need to believe Jesus was the son of god to be saved, especially when I have been created to need salvation in the first place.
What do we need this god for, this god who judges us for failing to meet expectations we are incapable of living up to, because of the way he made us?
Some would argue that we have the capacity within ourselves to achieve this moral perfection, all we need is our discipline, our intellect, our introspection, and our reason. That mankind has within itself the means to this perfection, to redeem itself, as it were, I don’t argue. I believe it wholeheartedly. But if this is true, if we do have within ourselves the means to salvation, then what do we need god for?
And if god is operating under the clock worker model, building the world, winding it up and then leaving it to operate by itself, I question the need for god. If he is not willing to accept responsibility for the colossal fuck-up that is the human condition, then we certainly don’t need him.
Some would say the world was made perfectly, and mankind is what fucked it up. To that I would counter that the human race is not somehow magically separate from the rest of the world. We exist in it, and so if there is a god, he is responsible for what we have done to it.
I would like to believe there is a god, so I could confront him with the complete debacle he has created. And this is why I cannot accept the notion of a loving creator god. If there were such a god, empathy would be an innate human trait, not one that has to be learned.
There was an episode of Star Trek where one of the crew members died, and Data questioned Riker about why people had been more upset by Tasha Yar’s death than by the death of this crew member not many people had known. Riker responded “If we all felt the loss of those we don’t know as keenly as the loss of those we do, the history of humankind would have been entirely different."
Amen Brother.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Just Found This
A blog written by a US Serviceman stationed in Iraq. It makes for some interesting reading.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
How Correct (And Depressing) Is This?
I found this link at Love Is A Cunt
Do's and Don'ts of Cultivating and Maintaining a Platonic Friendship with a Woman You Would Otherwise Want To Have a Relationship With and Quite Possibly Marry.
Those of you who have ever been in this situation will get it.
Do's and Don'ts of Cultivating and Maintaining a Platonic Friendship with a Woman You Would Otherwise Want To Have a Relationship With and Quite Possibly Marry.
Those of you who have ever been in this situation will get it.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Flipping The Coin
Remember the movie Bandits with Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton? I cannot remember the name of the woman who played the female lead, but in the movie her character falls for both Willis and Thornton’s characters. Unable to choose, she decides to try to be with both of them. We feel sorry for her because she is caught in an impossible situation, having to make an impossible choice.
Now, reverse that. Imagine it is a man torn between two women. You would never be able to make that a successful mainstream film. Everyone would tear it apart as a tale of a commitment phobic, double dealing asshole. Someone who wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Why is that? Why can we believe a woman can be torn equally between two men, but not the reverse? Do we really find it that impossible to fathom?
Is it possible, for either sex to have equal feelings about two different people at the same time?
I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation, and how, or if, it was resolved.
Now, reverse that. Imagine it is a man torn between two women. You would never be able to make that a successful mainstream film. Everyone would tear it apart as a tale of a commitment phobic, double dealing asshole. Someone who wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Why is that? Why can we believe a woman can be torn equally between two men, but not the reverse? Do we really find it that impossible to fathom?
Is it possible, for either sex to have equal feelings about two different people at the same time?
I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this situation, and how, or if, it was resolved.
MMM… Insomnia
Thursday night I had a huge fight with my best friend. We don’t do that very often, and even though we smoothed things over yesterday, I was still emotionally overwrought. I went to bed at 11:00 PM, exhausted. I woke at 3:00 AM. I have been up ever since.
I have had bouts of insomnia for most of my adult life. They seem to be worse when I am A) single, and B) working from home/ studio. When I get like this, I try not to just lay in bed trying to sleep. I usually get up and do something, and I sometimes even manage to tire myself out so I can get back to sleep.
This is not turning out to be one of those times.
So while I am up, a few things I have been thinking about:
I am trying to articulate my position on the notion of god, and am having a great deal of difficulty getting it out in some way that makes sense.
I have been trying to improve my writing, because it bothers me I am not better able to communicate my thoughts.
I have come to realize I have been hiding behind my emotional intimacy with S. She is the person I have been sharing my mental and emotional inner life with for so long that I don’t feel the need to find someone else who I can share it with. For all my bitching about my loneliness, I am the one who has been standing in the way of finding someone to be with.
The above is a long winded way of saying I have figured out I am ready to be in a relationship again.
A few have commented about my cryptic-ness in the last couple of posts. Yeah, sorry bout that. Too many people I know read this thing.
No one should read anything into the above statement. I am just trying to keep a private thought private.
By the end of next week, I should have my website up and running. With pictures and everything. Stay tuned.
I have been thinking about doing the adspace thing here on the old blog. Has anyone else done this and what has been your experience?
I occasionally pose questions about relationships here at The Lighting Designer’s Life. By some of your responses, it seems some think these questions pertain to me directly. Rarely is that the case. I am something of a relationship philosopher, and so ask these questions to see what people think about different issues/ ideas. I am not trying to draw value judgments on people’s ideas, I just want to know what people think.
As a companion to that thought, my posts, particularly those with a more negative slant, are almost never the only way I think about a certain situation. I express the more negative aspects of my thoughts here so that I am not venting them in a non-productive way. So if you are reading this, and believe you see yourself in what I have to say, please don’t take it personally. It is just one side of how I feel about something.
I have had bouts of insomnia for most of my adult life. They seem to be worse when I am A) single, and B) working from home/ studio. When I get like this, I try not to just lay in bed trying to sleep. I usually get up and do something, and I sometimes even manage to tire myself out so I can get back to sleep.
This is not turning out to be one of those times.
So while I am up, a few things I have been thinking about:
I am trying to articulate my position on the notion of god, and am having a great deal of difficulty getting it out in some way that makes sense.
I have been trying to improve my writing, because it bothers me I am not better able to communicate my thoughts.
I have come to realize I have been hiding behind my emotional intimacy with S. She is the person I have been sharing my mental and emotional inner life with for so long that I don’t feel the need to find someone else who I can share it with. For all my bitching about my loneliness, I am the one who has been standing in the way of finding someone to be with.
The above is a long winded way of saying I have figured out I am ready to be in a relationship again.
A few have commented about my cryptic-ness in the last couple of posts. Yeah, sorry bout that. Too many people I know read this thing.
No one should read anything into the above statement. I am just trying to keep a private thought private.
By the end of next week, I should have my website up and running. With pictures and everything. Stay tuned.
I have been thinking about doing the adspace thing here on the old blog. Has anyone else done this and what has been your experience?
I occasionally pose questions about relationships here at The Lighting Designer’s Life. By some of your responses, it seems some think these questions pertain to me directly. Rarely is that the case. I am something of a relationship philosopher, and so ask these questions to see what people think about different issues/ ideas. I am not trying to draw value judgments on people’s ideas, I just want to know what people think.
As a companion to that thought, my posts, particularly those with a more negative slant, are almost never the only way I think about a certain situation. I express the more negative aspects of my thoughts here so that I am not venting them in a non-productive way. So if you are reading this, and believe you see yourself in what I have to say, please don’t take it personally. It is just one side of how I feel about something.
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