I am in Juneau, Alaska, remounting the production of Hedwig and The Angry Inch that I designed here last season. I had forgotten how much I love this show. It is hard, and bitter, and lonely, and beautiful, and, ultimately, re-affirming. I know so many people (myself included) who have lived through the same experience, searching for identity in an increasingly confusing world, seeking love and acceptance, both from others and ourselves. Hedwig is a freak, an outward representation of the freak I suspect we all feel on the inside. Her search for herself, and the other half she lost is painful to watch, but in the end provides the hope we will all find what we are looking for.
Last season I worked on two shows here that dealt with being outsiders, and the consequences of that status. One of those shows was Hedwig, the other was columbinus. I am struck by the different paths feeling on the outside leads. In one case, it leads to creative acts, in the other (and based on history) it leads to death and destruction. I suppose the difference is that despite her marginilization, Hedwig still believes in love. I wonder at what point Harris and Klebold stopped hoping for it. As I have searched for answers to the question of why they acted the way the did, that they despaired at ever loving or being loved is the only reason I can come up with. It is the only reason I can accept.
On to other things.
I had also forgotten how much I love this production of this show. I sat through a run through this afternoon, and was crying at the end. In a good way. The cast is amazing, and I believe it's some of the best work I have ever done. I will be sorry to leave this one behind.
The week has been one of a lot of emotional upheavel (sp?). I had the rather unpleasant experience of facing my mortality very up close and personal. I realized I am not ready to go gently. Still too much to do.
Other upheavals have been profound changes in the lives of some people very close to me. Of probably greatest note, S, one of the founders of the MSGAP, is getting married.
Yeah.
Peace in yer crease.
3 comments:
S!!!!!!!!!!! That's wonderful! I'm delighted for you and your fiance. I hope you two have many happy years together.
LD, you'll be home soon! I hope the flight back is less eventful.
Merry Christmas to all!!
wow. i guess i've been outed. that's really weird to see in print. fdon't think i'll get used to that one.
one note for bea: nothing's changing. i remain me and he likes it that way. thanks for the congrats.
-s
S-lol am glad to hear that you don't have to go through a personality mutation : ) It's sad when one or both parties wind up with terribly altered personalities after they've been hitched.
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