If You Are Not Up To Self Indulgent Whining, Don't Read This

OK. I am really grouchy this evening, and I couldn't tell you why. Well. Maybe I can.

First, I am broke. Nothing makes me feel like more of a pathetic loser completely incapable of managing his own affairs than being in this state. It makes me feel like no matter how hard I work, the people who think (or who I project these thoughts onto) I am wasting my time and my life by trying to make a career in the arts* are right.

Of course I am really bad at managing my own money, so that whole completely incapable of managing my own affairs is basically true.

Another source of my angst is the constant search for work you have to undergo** as a freelance artist. Continually having to market ones self is exhausting. And as most of you know, I am not good with the "aren't I great" thing. I am conident as hell when I am working (some*** would say arrogant), but I am still having trouble with extending that to the search for work.

Finally, although I like the people I work for/with in the installation game, it is not what I want to be doing with my life. It is hard for me to get excited abput getting up at 4:00 AM, despite the size of the paycheck.

Yes, I know a whole lot of people are in the same, or worse, boat I am in. But this is my blog, not their's.

So thanks for listening. Sometimes you just need to bitch.

* It is also frustrating that the amount of work we in the arts do is not compensated as adequately as other professions working similar hours.

** Is undergo even a word?

*** Like East Coast Alaska Girl <;)