So, the director I had been trying to show my portfolio to responded to my email the next day, asking for my resume and any photos I might have electronically. I sent some stuff that was small enough to email that evening. That was a week ago, and I have not heard anything since then.
God I love waiting.
As a funny aside, about fifteen minutes after sending the email, I walked out of my office and who was across the street, but the very same director. They were with someone I knew, so I walked across to talk with my friend. I stopped short of saying, "I just sent you an email."
Perhaps I should have.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
OK, So I Have Not Posted In A While
I had my post finished, really I did, but my dog ate it.
Actually, I have been too busy have wild monkey sex on the roof of my building.
Would you believe....?
Seriously, between 10 hour days on the job site, and having a friend staying with me while he is working on a show at Studio Theatre, I have had little time to do anything other than check my email and read some other blogs.
My random thoughts for the week so far:
The East Coast Alaska Girl leaves tommorrow to begin her exciting new life in Juneau. We are happy for her, but sad for us. We will miss her.
As of today, B is no longer a homeowner. Can I hear a WOO HOO!
I have a wonderfully social weekend planned. I am attending the birthday party of a friend on Friday night, then heading to Berkley Springs, WV for fireworks and frivolity. And most exciting of all, I will get to hang out with Dan and Randy, who I have not seen in over a month.
Have an a fun and safe 4th of July weekend all.
Actually, I have been too busy have wild monkey sex on the roof of my building.
Would you believe....?
Seriously, between 10 hour days on the job site, and having a friend staying with me while he is working on a show at Studio Theatre, I have had little time to do anything other than check my email and read some other blogs.
My random thoughts for the week so far:
The East Coast Alaska Girl leaves tommorrow to begin her exciting new life in Juneau. We are happy for her, but sad for us. We will miss her.
As of today, B is no longer a homeowner. Can I hear a WOO HOO!
I have a wonderfully social weekend planned. I am attending the birthday party of a friend on Friday night, then heading to Berkley Springs, WV for fireworks and frivolity. And most exciting of all, I will get to hang out with Dan and Randy, who I have not seen in over a month.
Have an a fun and safe 4th of July weekend all.
Monday, June 27, 2005
How To Help?
I tend to be rather protective of the people I care about, often rabidly so. I have two seperate friends going through considerable angst over moving. One has just sold her house, and between accepting a contract on it a month ago and now, her AC has gone on the fritz, and her refridgerator has died. Twice. All of this must be taken care of by closing on Thursday.
The other friend is moving across country to start a new job in a small town a very long way from anything.
I wish there was something I could do for them. Even if it was to make them believe it will all be OK. Because it will.
I hate feeling powerless like this.
The other friend is moving across country to start a new job in a small town a very long way from anything.
I wish there was something I could do for them. Even if it was to make them believe it will all be OK. Because it will.
I hate feeling powerless like this.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Some Helpful Hints For Going Out In Public
Over the past several weeks, I have spent some time standing in various lines. The post office, the grocery store, the train station. And increasingly, I have been subjected to the grumblings of people around me, usually quite loudly.
In the post office a few weeks ago, there was a woman who wanted to buy stamps. The line at the window was quite long, and there were only two attendants working. Stamp Lady asked another employee if they could open a stamps only line. She was directed to the stamp machine, but the only stamp available in the amount she wanted to buy were the American Flag stamps. Stamp Lady didn’t want those stamps, she wanted something prettier. She then began loudly complaining that no one would open a stamps only line for her. She huffed and puffed up and down the line, alternating between harassing the employees, and declaiming loudly “This is our tax dollars at work, folks.”
The woman standing in front of me finally said to her “Actually, the Postal Service is not funded through taxes, it’s paid for entirely from postage fees and other services.” I wanted to kiss her right then and there.
This took the wind out of Stamp Lady’s sails, and she huffed out a few moments later.
Now I have those days. You know the ones. The ones where you think everyone you encounter is too stupid for words, and it seems there is some vast conspiracy to make you wait as long as is humanly possible so you will be late to absolutely everything. I have them frequently.
You know what I do about it? Nothing. I take a deep breath and try to relax, or I stew and think vindictive things about the metro system that has demanded that everyone who parks at a Metro facility buy one of those Smart Trip card thingys yet only has two machines per station that will let you add value to them and the guy in front of me invariably can’t understand the directions because apparently English is like his third effing language.
I don’t vent these thoughts out loud. I keep them to myself. If I am having a crappy day, there is no need for me to share that information with the world. Just because my life sucks, I don’t have the right to bring other people down with me.
So if you feel slighted because YOU have to wait in line with everyone else, and where you have to go and what you have to do is infinitely more important than the rest of us standing there:
Shut.
The.
F#&K.
UP.
No one cares. No. One.
Suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us.
And don’t be rude to the people who have to deal with obnoxious a**holes like you all day long. They don’t deserve it. These people have the crappiest jobs known to man. Dealing with the general public day in and day out would make me insane.
In the post office a few weeks ago, there was a woman who wanted to buy stamps. The line at the window was quite long, and there were only two attendants working. Stamp Lady asked another employee if they could open a stamps only line. She was directed to the stamp machine, but the only stamp available in the amount she wanted to buy were the American Flag stamps. Stamp Lady didn’t want those stamps, she wanted something prettier. She then began loudly complaining that no one would open a stamps only line for her. She huffed and puffed up and down the line, alternating between harassing the employees, and declaiming loudly “This is our tax dollars at work, folks.”
The woman standing in front of me finally said to her “Actually, the Postal Service is not funded through taxes, it’s paid for entirely from postage fees and other services.” I wanted to kiss her right then and there.
This took the wind out of Stamp Lady’s sails, and she huffed out a few moments later.
Now I have those days. You know the ones. The ones where you think everyone you encounter is too stupid for words, and it seems there is some vast conspiracy to make you wait as long as is humanly possible so you will be late to absolutely everything. I have them frequently.
You know what I do about it? Nothing. I take a deep breath and try to relax, or I stew and think vindictive things about the metro system that has demanded that everyone who parks at a Metro facility buy one of those Smart Trip card thingys yet only has two machines per station that will let you add value to them and the guy in front of me invariably can’t understand the directions because apparently English is like his third effing language.
I don’t vent these thoughts out loud. I keep them to myself. If I am having a crappy day, there is no need for me to share that information with the world. Just because my life sucks, I don’t have the right to bring other people down with me.
So if you feel slighted because YOU have to wait in line with everyone else, and where you have to go and what you have to do is infinitely more important than the rest of us standing there:
Shut.
The.
F#&K.
UP.
No one cares. No. One.
Suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us.
And don’t be rude to the people who have to deal with obnoxious a**holes like you all day long. They don’t deserve it. These people have the crappiest jobs known to man. Dealing with the general public day in and day out would make me insane.
Weekend Highlights
Being drunk dialed Friday night by East Coast Alaska Girl and Lucky Spinster at the same time. Sounds like you ladies had fun, though I wonder if ECAG remembers the conversation.
Helping one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, B, move ino her new apartment.
Going to the movies with another of the MSGA Posse.
Helping one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, B, move ino her new apartment.
Going to the movies with another of the MSGA Posse.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
My Pillow Shams
Thanks to all of you who have offered advice/ assistance on the problem of obtaining an introduction to a certain director. I just sent off an email, so we will see how it goes.
As a digression, I am often discouraged by human beings' treatment of one another. But every once in a while, my faith in humanity is restored. People I only know through this blogging community have on more than one occasion offered advice, help and solace to someone (me) most of them have never met.
Thanx for helping me keep the faith.
As a digression, I am often discouraged by human beings' treatment of one another. But every once in a while, my faith in humanity is restored. People I only know through this blogging community have on more than one occasion offered advice, help and solace to someone (me) most of them have never met.
Thanx for helping me keep the faith.
I Have Now Officially Seen It All
I just sat in my office (Starbucks), and watched two people sit at a table and brew coffee in a coffemaker.
I am more than a bit confused.
I am more than a bit confused.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Where I Want To Be
Despite the fact it is summer, and it is hotter than balls there now*, I really want to jump on a plane and see S in New Orleans. I have been getting up at 4:00 AM for work, and she works nights, so I have not really talked with her, other than to check in, in about two weeks.
I miss her something awful.
*If you have never been there in the summer, you have no idea what disgusting hot humid is. i was there in July several years ago, and saw a cat lying in the shade panting. Yes, the cat was panting. It was ten AM.
I miss her something awful.
*If you have never been there in the summer, you have no idea what disgusting hot humid is. i was there in July several years ago, and saw a cat lying in the shade panting. Yes, the cat was panting. It was ten AM.
Monday, June 20, 2005
How Much Is Enough
I was reading an article in the paper yesterday about record companies adding protection software to CDs to control how many times they can be copied. The record companies are blaming piracy for lower revenues in recent years, but many feel that once they have purchased a CD, it is their's to do with as they wish. One guy was quoted as saying "I have paid for the music, so I should be able to do whatever I want with it.
I have a few thoughts. Of course I do, otherwise, why the hell would I be writing this.
First, when you purchase a CD, you have not purchased the rights to the music recorded on it. What you have purchased is the right to play it for the enjoyment of yourself and your friends. You cannot play that music in an enviroment where people have paid to gather. So yes, every movie you go see that plays music in the soundtrack has paid the owner of the music's rights for the use of that piece of music.
Ask yourself this. If the technology to copy CDs was not available commercially, and you wanted to give your girlfriend that CD you first made out to, what would you do? You would go out and buy another copy. So every time you copy a CD, you are depriving the owner of that music's rights the royalties they are legally entitled to. And I would argue they are entitled to it ethically. Why should they not be compensated for someone enjoying the fruits of their labor.
If you don't like the system, lobby to change the intellectual property laws. And good luck with that.
However, I would also argue that while piracy may be eating into record company profits, another reason for the decline in sales may be that we have finally figured out CDs cost too freakin much. Come on. When the technology was new, sure there were R&D costs to be recouped. But a CD costs somewhere around 2cents to produce, so why do they still cost between $16 and $18 retail?
Perhaps if we began paying recording artists more reasonable sums of money, and record company executives were compensated a little less, we might drive the cost of CDs below $10, where it should be. I mean, really, how much money is enough?
Another benefit of reducing artists' compensation would be the reduction in talentless people producing records as a way to get rich. Cheaper CDs and quality music in one fell swoop?
Where do I sign up?
I have a few thoughts. Of course I do, otherwise, why the hell would I be writing this.
First, when you purchase a CD, you have not purchased the rights to the music recorded on it. What you have purchased is the right to play it for the enjoyment of yourself and your friends. You cannot play that music in an enviroment where people have paid to gather. So yes, every movie you go see that plays music in the soundtrack has paid the owner of the music's rights for the use of that piece of music.
Ask yourself this. If the technology to copy CDs was not available commercially, and you wanted to give your girlfriend that CD you first made out to, what would you do? You would go out and buy another copy. So every time you copy a CD, you are depriving the owner of that music's rights the royalties they are legally entitled to. And I would argue they are entitled to it ethically. Why should they not be compensated for someone enjoying the fruits of their labor.
If you don't like the system, lobby to change the intellectual property laws. And good luck with that.
However, I would also argue that while piracy may be eating into record company profits, another reason for the decline in sales may be that we have finally figured out CDs cost too freakin much. Come on. When the technology was new, sure there were R&D costs to be recouped. But a CD costs somewhere around 2cents to produce, so why do they still cost between $16 and $18 retail?
Perhaps if we began paying recording artists more reasonable sums of money, and record company executives were compensated a little less, we might drive the cost of CDs below $10, where it should be. I mean, really, how much money is enough?
Another benefit of reducing artists' compensation would be the reduction in talentless people producing records as a way to get rich. Cheaper CDs and quality music in one fell swoop?
Where do I sign up?
Sunday, June 19, 2005
If You Are Not Up To Self Indulgent Whining, Don't Read This
OK. I am really grouchy this evening, and I couldn't tell you why. Well. Maybe I can.
First, I am broke. Nothing makes me feel like more of a pathetic loser completely incapable of managing his own affairs than being in this state. It makes me feel like no matter how hard I work, the people who think (or who I project these thoughts onto) I am wasting my time and my life by trying to make a career in the arts* are right.
Of course I am really bad at managing my own money, so that whole completely incapable of managing my own affairs is basically true.
Another source of my angst is the constant search for work you have to undergo** as a freelance artist. Continually having to market ones self is exhausting. And as most of you know, I am not good with the "aren't I great" thing. I am conident as hell when I am working (some*** would say arrogant), but I am still having trouble with extending that to the search for work.
Finally, although I like the people I work for/with in the installation game, it is not what I want to be doing with my life. It is hard for me to get excited abput getting up at 4:00 AM, despite the size of the paycheck.
Yes, I know a whole lot of people are in the same, or worse, boat I am in. But this is my blog, not their's.
So thanks for listening. Sometimes you just need to bitch.
* It is also frustrating that the amount of work we in the arts do is not compensated as adequately as other professions working similar hours.
** Is undergo even a word?
*** Like East Coast Alaska Girl <;)
First, I am broke. Nothing makes me feel like more of a pathetic loser completely incapable of managing his own affairs than being in this state. It makes me feel like no matter how hard I work, the people who think (or who I project these thoughts onto) I am wasting my time and my life by trying to make a career in the arts* are right.
Of course I am really bad at managing my own money, so that whole completely incapable of managing my own affairs is basically true.
Another source of my angst is the constant search for work you have to undergo** as a freelance artist. Continually having to market ones self is exhausting. And as most of you know, I am not good with the "aren't I great" thing. I am conident as hell when I am working (some*** would say arrogant), but I am still having trouble with extending that to the search for work.
Finally, although I like the people I work for/with in the installation game, it is not what I want to be doing with my life. It is hard for me to get excited abput getting up at 4:00 AM, despite the size of the paycheck.
Yes, I know a whole lot of people are in the same, or worse, boat I am in. But this is my blog, not their's.
So thanks for listening. Sometimes you just need to bitch.
* It is also frustrating that the amount of work we in the arts do is not compensated as adequately as other professions working similar hours.
** Is undergo even a word?
*** Like East Coast Alaska Girl <;)
Saturday, June 18, 2005
How Shamless Should I Be?
There is a director working here in DC whose work I have found impressive. They are someone with whom I would very much like to work. We have met once, but it was at a bar after an opening, and I was not exactly sober enough to start whoring for work.
I have asked two different people to provide me with an introduction, and both times it has not worked out. So do I just email this person cold?
Help me out here folks.
I have asked two different people to provide me with an introduction, and both times it has not worked out. So do I just email this person cold?
Help me out here folks.
Friday, June 17, 2005
I Want To Cook
We had a rather slow day at the shop. We packed up work boxes to take to a jobsite on Monday, but otherwise were left with alot of free time. We spent a good deal of the morning talking with the owner of the company, known as Old White Bastard (his name for himself), and my two co-workers. The conversation turned to food and cooking, and we traded some recipies back and forth.*
This raised a jones to cook, especially with the weather being so nice here in DC at the moment, and I have an urge to be in the kitchen. There are two problems with this scenario.
1) I am broke at the moment, so cooking fancy food is out. I have been doing a lot of preparing, but not a lot of cooking.
2) Most of the things I cook are for more than one person, and the recipies don't halve well. It is difficult to make rissotto for one. I really enjoy cooking for other people, but don't get the opportunity to do so often.
And of course my AC does not work, so by the time I get paid, the weather will probably have gotten hot again. So even if I could find someone to cook for, it would be too uncomfortable in my apartment to do so.
So, if you want good food prepared for you in your airconditioned home, just let me know.
* It sometimes strikes me as odd to be working in construction and having conversations about fine dining.
This raised a jones to cook, especially with the weather being so nice here in DC at the moment, and I have an urge to be in the kitchen. There are two problems with this scenario.
1) I am broke at the moment, so cooking fancy food is out. I have been doing a lot of preparing, but not a lot of cooking.
2) Most of the things I cook are for more than one person, and the recipies don't halve well. It is difficult to make rissotto for one. I really enjoy cooking for other people, but don't get the opportunity to do so often.
And of course my AC does not work, so by the time I get paid, the weather will probably have gotten hot again. So even if I could find someone to cook for, it would be too uncomfortable in my apartment to do so.
So, if you want good food prepared for you in your airconditioned home, just let me know.
* It sometimes strikes me as odd to be working in construction and having conversations about fine dining.
What Are People Thinking
I am sitting in my office (Starbucks), and just observed an elderly couple bring in what I can only assume are their five grandchildren. The grandfather went to the counter with the kids while the grandmother stood at the doorway shouting over my head what to order, and changed her mind three times. The children, all somehwere between six and twelve, then proceeded to rearrange the furniture at the grandmother's direction, and then began to complain loudly that their order was incorrect. She then started screaming for her money back.
First, WTF are you bringing pre-adolescents into Starbucks for. The little monsters aren't hyper enough, you had to get them frappaccinos?
Secondly, don't ask a gaggle of children to order something and then expect the order to be right.
Third, SHUT THE F%#K UP!!!! If you get your panties in a bunch over coffee drinks, that's your affair.
Don't make it mine.
First, WTF are you bringing pre-adolescents into Starbucks for. The little monsters aren't hyper enough, you had to get them frappaccinos?
Secondly, don't ask a gaggle of children to order something and then expect the order to be right.
Third, SHUT THE F%#K UP!!!! If you get your panties in a bunch over coffee drinks, that's your affair.
Don't make it mine.
Fun Getting Hurt
Yesterday I had the most fun you can have burning the holy-mother-of-god-living-crap out of yourself.
It's called a plasma torch, and it cuts through steel like a hot knife through warm butter.
I cut a piece of flat steel into tiny little strips. I cut chamfers in the corners of angle iron.
I splashed molten metal onto my neck.
Wow, did that hurt.
The plasma torch is still effing cool.
It's called a plasma torch, and it cuts through steel like a hot knife through warm butter.
I cut a piece of flat steel into tiny little strips. I cut chamfers in the corners of angle iron.
I splashed molten metal onto my neck.
Wow, did that hurt.
The plasma torch is still effing cool.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Wonders Of Caffeine
This week I started working again for a company that installs stage rigging and machinery. The money is better than working overhire*, and there is far more work in the summer. The downside is we keep construction hours, in the shop at 6:30 AM, which means getting up at 4:00 AM.
Now, through no concious choice, I spent Monday and Tuesday without consuming any caffeine. I guess I was too tired to remember to drink a glass of tea. This, on top of trying to readjust a body clock used to working until 2:00 AM, has had me dragging ass in the shop.
Today. one of my co-workers bought me a giant cup of iced tea. I have actually come home, taken a shower, walked to the Kennedy Center and back, and am currently in my office, aka Starbucks, and it's almost 7:00 PM.
This probably means something negative, but I am just happy to have some energy.
* Overhire: Doing on-call production work for a theatre, as opposed to having a staff position there.
Now, through no concious choice, I spent Monday and Tuesday without consuming any caffeine. I guess I was too tired to remember to drink a glass of tea. This, on top of trying to readjust a body clock used to working until 2:00 AM, has had me dragging ass in the shop.
Today. one of my co-workers bought me a giant cup of iced tea. I have actually come home, taken a shower, walked to the Kennedy Center and back, and am currently in my office, aka Starbucks, and it's almost 7:00 PM.
This probably means something negative, but I am just happy to have some energy.
* Overhire: Doing on-call production work for a theatre, as opposed to having a staff position there.
Monday, June 13, 2005
MMM.... Heat
So yes, it's Africa hot out, and everyone is miserable, and bitching about the heat. Even the little old lady in my building who had not left the AC all day. I know this because, as I was coming home from my day gig for the summer where I had been welding all day in a shop without AC, and was on may way up to my apartment where the AC doesn't work, she felt the need to harp on the heat all the way through the lobby and continued in the ride on the elevator.
I have not been that close to homicide in a long time.
Posting may be a bit light this week. I am trying to adjust my body clock to getting up at 4:00 AM, so I am a wee bit tired. And the welding in a shop without AC doesn't help.
I have not been that close to homicide in a long time.
Posting may be a bit light this week. I am trying to adjust my body clock to getting up at 4:00 AM, so I am a wee bit tired. And the welding in a shop without AC doesn't help.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Being Shy
I had lunch today with one of my few male friends. I had not seen him in a couple of months, so we spent some time catching up. As we were comparing dating notes, I made mention of my shyness. His response sort of took me off gaurd.
"I've never seen you as shy. I think it's what you have convinced yourself, and have made it a self fulfilling prophecy."
I am left wondering about that. Am I as shy as I think I am? A number of people I have talked to about it have been somewhat surprised I consider myself so. Am I just using it as a front so I don't have to face up to what an arrogant prick I really am?
But if I'm not shy, why do I have such trouble dealing with the opposite sex?
"I've never seen you as shy. I think it's what you have convinced yourself, and have made it a self fulfilling prophecy."
I am left wondering about that. Am I as shy as I think I am? A number of people I have talked to about it have been somewhat surprised I consider myself so. Am I just using it as a front so I don't have to face up to what an arrogant prick I really am?
But if I'm not shy, why do I have such trouble dealing with the opposite sex?
Friday, June 10, 2005
Dashing Off
To spend the weekend with the family, so I probably won't be posting this weekend, despite desperately needing to. Stay tuned for my thoughts on Big Death & Little Death, Woolly's new space, the Lautrec exhibit at the National Gallery of Art, and proper museum etiquette.
Have a great weekend, all.
Have a great weekend, all.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Why Do I Watch This Movie
I got home this evening from seeing Big Death, Little Death at Woolly Mammoth (That is a post for another time), and had some work I wanted to get done while it was still reasonably cool in my apartment. So I decided to put in a movie for background noise. For whatever reason, the movie I chose was Love Actually.
Now, as my regular reader's know, I love this film. I think it is one of the truest treatments on the nature of love ever seen in pop culture. So you may ask why is watching it a problem, if I feel this movie so much.
I feel deep down that I have lost my capacity to fall in love. There is no one I am going to dodge airport security for, or cross international lines to profess my love to. And no one is going to do it for me, either. And it makes me sad.
And yes, I understand that while we may applaud such behavior in movies, we generally frown upon it in our day to day life. "That's not real love, that's just a display of passion." we say.
But don't we all want that? Is there anyone who can honestly say they don't wish someone was so crazy about us that they would risk humiliation and possible jail time to tell us so?
Maybe that is the key. We want someone to take a risk to express their affection. But that risk can be hard to take, and we often spend too much of our time waiting for the other person to take the leap first.
I wish there was someone out there who I was willing to take that risk for. I wish I could feel that strongly about someone. And even more I wish there was someone for whom that was mutual.
Now, as my regular reader's know, I love this film. I think it is one of the truest treatments on the nature of love ever seen in pop culture. So you may ask why is watching it a problem, if I feel this movie so much.
I feel deep down that I have lost my capacity to fall in love. There is no one I am going to dodge airport security for, or cross international lines to profess my love to. And no one is going to do it for me, either. And it makes me sad.
And yes, I understand that while we may applaud such behavior in movies, we generally frown upon it in our day to day life. "That's not real love, that's just a display of passion." we say.
But don't we all want that? Is there anyone who can honestly say they don't wish someone was so crazy about us that they would risk humiliation and possible jail time to tell us so?
Maybe that is the key. We want someone to take a risk to express their affection. But that risk can be hard to take, and we often spend too much of our time waiting for the other person to take the leap first.
I wish there was someone out there who I was willing to take that risk for. I wish I could feel that strongly about someone. And even more I wish there was someone for whom that was mutual.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
The Net Finally Shows Up
Got an email today about work starting next week. I'm not going to starve to death. Woo Hoo!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Life of Crime?
For whatever reason, it hit me today that I am now no longer producing income, and I have no prospects for doing so. I have been suffering through a massive anxiety attack for most of the day. I at one point had to stop in the street and call S, just to hear a reassuring voice.
The next gig on my calander is not till August. Next season seems to be shaping up, but I am nervous about surviving until then.
The plan I had for making money this summer seems to have fallen through.
Maybe a life of crime wouldn't be so bad.
The next gig on my calander is not till August. Next season seems to be shaping up, but I am nervous about surviving until then.
The plan I had for making money this summer seems to have fallen through.
Maybe a life of crime wouldn't be so bad.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Bachelorette #1
I returned several hours ago from my very first date through an internet connection. I tried to go in with low expectations, and just enjoy the other person's company. We met for pool and a drink, although we ended up playing only one game. The music was up so loud it was difficult to talk without standing next to each other. So we turned in our balls and sat outside to chat.
She was full of questions about my work, and we ended up talking career for quite awhile. Unfortunately, there really wasn't any spark, and we ran out of conversation after about an hour and a half. We had a friendly parting, and I got home to a thank you email from her.
So some measure of success. I am at least out there again.
God help us.
She was full of questions about my work, and we ended up talking career for quite awhile. Unfortunately, there really wasn't any spark, and we ran out of conversation after about an hour and a half. We had a friendly parting, and I got home to a thank you email from her.
So some measure of success. I am at least out there again.
God help us.
I Think It's Strange
I have a date tonight, and I don't feel the least bit nervous. I keep expecting this wave of panic to come crashing down on me, but so far I am calm.
I suppose it is easy not to take it too seriously. This is someone I met in the internet, and so expectations are not high. I am not seeking a life mate here, just trying to meet some new people. Especially people not in the theatre.
But is that being disrespectful to this woman?
Your thoughts, gentle readers.
I suppose it is easy not to take it too seriously. This is someone I met in the internet, and so expectations are not high. I am not seeking a life mate here, just trying to meet some new people. Especially people not in the theatre.
But is that being disrespectful to this woman?
Your thoughts, gentle readers.
Yikes
The Dating Hell Diarist has linked to my blog. I guess I will have to start writing things that interest someone other than myself.
The Funniest Thing Seen All Day
I got back from Berkley Springs today to a package from Perseverance Theatre, mailed to me by the East Coast Alaska Girl. In it were the show disks from columbinus, a copy of the program, and a Juneau, Alaska garter belt.
Spit water through my nose on that one.
Spit water through my nose on that one.
UGHH!
My contract with the Kennedy Center ended last Wednesday. I am now officially unemployed.
Woo Hoo.
Woo Hoo.
What's Missing From Episode III
I went to see Revenge of the Sith again this evening. I still enjoyed the movie very much, but I realized there was something missing. Each character you will meet in Star Wars is in some way introduced in Episodes I-III, with the exception of Han Solo. Bobba Fett, who has about five minutes of screen time in Episodes V & VI, is all over the place. So what gives? I'm not talking about a long drawn out explanation, but some passing reference to Han would have tied the whole thing up completely.
I also spent parts of the movie wishing Hayden Christianson could act.
I also spent parts of the movie wishing Hayden Christianson could act.
Summer Is Here
And it is hotter than balls out. The AC does not work in my apartment, and I am afraid i may have missed the deadline to get a pool pass for my building.
Let the sweating begin!
Let the sweating begin!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Am I The Only One
Who thinks it's high time the Arctic Actor, aka Karl Miller, posted something new on his blog. columbinus closed a week ago. Where the hell are ya?
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Susan
I met Susan in high school. She and I were working together at a fast food restaurant. I had a crush on her the instant I saw her, and though she rebuffed my awkward attempt at asking her out, we soon became fast friends. We spent a lot of time together over the next year or so, cruising around in my Gremlin with the windows down and the Beatles blaring through cheap speakers.
Susan was a girl with a "reputation", and while I knew her she had a series of relationships with men who abused her emotionally, and in one case physicaly. I suppose that was part of the attraction for me. She brought out my "White Knight" complex like no one before or since.
In the summer after I graduated from high school, Susan and I became involved. I ended up staying in her parents house for a while (needless to say, my mother did not approve), and she was the girl I lost my virginity to. We had a great time for a while, but in the end she couldn't deal with being with someone who treated her well. She left, and it was awhile before we could be friends again.
Over time, we drifted apart. I had not seen her in six years or so, when my ex-wife and I moved back to MD from NC. I was working with someone who had gone to high school with her, and he told me she had been killed in a domestic dispute earlier that year.
That was ten years ago. I still think about her sometimes. I think about the rough and rather unhappy life she had led, and I am saddened. But what I think about most of all is how frightened she must have been at the end of her life. I wish that I could have been there to protect her, or at the very least not let her die alone. Even now, she brings out my white knight.
I am sorry, Susan, that I couldn't protect you when you really needed it. I miss you.
Susan was a girl with a "reputation", and while I knew her she had a series of relationships with men who abused her emotionally, and in one case physicaly. I suppose that was part of the attraction for me. She brought out my "White Knight" complex like no one before or since.
In the summer after I graduated from high school, Susan and I became involved. I ended up staying in her parents house for a while (needless to say, my mother did not approve), and she was the girl I lost my virginity to. We had a great time for a while, but in the end she couldn't deal with being with someone who treated her well. She left, and it was awhile before we could be friends again.
Over time, we drifted apart. I had not seen her in six years or so, when my ex-wife and I moved back to MD from NC. I was working with someone who had gone to high school with her, and he told me she had been killed in a domestic dispute earlier that year.
That was ten years ago. I still think about her sometimes. I think about the rough and rather unhappy life she had led, and I am saddened. But what I think about most of all is how frightened she must have been at the end of her life. I wish that I could have been there to protect her, or at the very least not let her die alone. Even now, she brings out my white knight.
I am sorry, Susan, that I couldn't protect you when you really needed it. I miss you.
One Other Thought
I have a date Monday evening and have nothing to wear. Or even any idea what I should wear. Help!
Random Saturday Thoughts
For those people deeply entrenched in some political/religious/social idealogy: If your way is the only correct one, what do you have to fear from other ideas?
I don't know if it's because I have spent the last week surrounded by estrogen, but I really want to have sex.
I miss my best friend, S, who lives in New Orleans.
Does it say something about me that almost all of my friends are women?
Why is it that the only three places I seem to have any confidence are the theatre (ie at work), the kitchen, and in bed (and I don't mean alone)?
I am incredibly self concious about my writing these days, which is odd, because I am not a writer, and have never pretended to be. Maybe I just feel I should be able to communicate better.
I am glad the director of Steel Magnolias and I have become friends. Of course, she is a woman.
Going back to the friends being women part, I actually only have two close friends who are heterosexual men. Does this seem odd? My mother thinks so.
I wish I could figure out some way for my brother and I to be friends.
My niece is graduating from high school today. I cannot possibly be old enough to have a niece graduating from high school.
Should I start a politics only blog?
I feel much less lonely now than I did three months ago. I have been blogging about that amount of time. Some correlation?
There is a line from Steel Magnolias to fit every occasion.
We keep looking for easy solutions to the world's problems. There aren't any. Get over it. The solutions are difficult and require everyone to sacrifice a little for the greater good. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
Not wanting children is not a disease. I don't need to be talked into the idea of being a parent. I don't want to be one. Deal with it.
I want to make out more than I want sex.
Friday, June 03, 2005
No Patsy Cline Karaoke For Me
We previewed Steel Magnolias last night. After a less than stellar final dress, there was some concern how the show would go in front of an audience. And like they say in Shakespeare in Love, everything turned out well in the end. I don't know how, it's a mystery.
After the show, S, the director, J, the stage manager, C, the sound designer, and also J's fiance, A, who plays Mlynn, and R, A's husband, piled into cars to head to the Troubador. The Troubador is a bar outside of Berkley, which also houses a recording studio. It was here that Patsy Cline did her first recordings.
A quick digression by way of explaining. Berkley Springs is a spa town, and there is a signifigant tourist industry here during the summer. To kick the season off, the town has something called "Hey Girlfriend". There are pink flyers all over town advertising various events and specials. Our production is listed, as was an event at the Troubador called "Patsy Cline Karaoke". Intrigued, I mentioned it to the other production staff. Those of us from out of town decided quickly there was no way we were missing that.
So off we went, eagerly anticipating drunk locals belting out country torch songs. There was even some idea of joining in. And what did we find. When we pulled up, the parking lot was almost empty. As J, C and I approached the door, a large woman came to the screen door, peering at us as if we had green skin and tentacles.
"Are you open?" asked C.
"What do you want?" was the suspicious reply.
"We heard there was Karaoke, we thought we would have a few drinks."
"No. We're closed. Tommorrow night."
OK, then. As we were headed back to the car, the place cleared out. The last of the cars were filling as we drove away. It was strange.
C has told us that many places here only seem to welcome locals. I guess we looked too weird. It did have that feeling of having walked in on something illicit.
We are going back tonight for another try.
After the show, S, the director, J, the stage manager, C, the sound designer, and also J's fiance, A, who plays Mlynn, and R, A's husband, piled into cars to head to the Troubador. The Troubador is a bar outside of Berkley, which also houses a recording studio. It was here that Patsy Cline did her first recordings.
A quick digression by way of explaining. Berkley Springs is a spa town, and there is a signifigant tourist industry here during the summer. To kick the season off, the town has something called "Hey Girlfriend". There are pink flyers all over town advertising various events and specials. Our production is listed, as was an event at the Troubador called "Patsy Cline Karaoke". Intrigued, I mentioned it to the other production staff. Those of us from out of town decided quickly there was no way we were missing that.
So off we went, eagerly anticipating drunk locals belting out country torch songs. There was even some idea of joining in. And what did we find. When we pulled up, the parking lot was almost empty. As J, C and I approached the door, a large woman came to the screen door, peering at us as if we had green skin and tentacles.
"Are you open?" asked C.
"What do you want?" was the suspicious reply.
"We heard there was Karaoke, we thought we would have a few drinks."
"No. We're closed. Tommorrow night."
OK, then. As we were headed back to the car, the place cleared out. The last of the cars were filling as we drove away. It was strange.
C has told us that many places here only seem to welcome locals. I guess we looked too weird. It did have that feeling of having walked in on something illicit.
We are going back tonight for another try.
The Betrayal of The United States
I have been on a rampage lately about the Downing Street Memo, a document leaked to the London Times and printed there on May 1st.
I have never supported the war with Iraq. I believe we crossed a very dangerous line in March 2003. For the first time in US history, we carried out a war of agression against another country without any provocation. At that moment we became on equal moral footing with the Germans when they marched into Poland.
But what surprises me is that no one who supported this war seems outraged that they were lied to about our reasons for invasion. Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction. Intelligence reports indicated other nations as far more real threats where WMDs were concerned. No concrete link has been found between Iraq and the perpetrators of September 11, 2001.
The Bush Administration, for reasons that are still unclear, decided in the summer of 2002 that they would topple the government of Iraq, and then fixed intelligence reports to garner support for an invasion.
How can the conservatives in this country not be foaming at the mouth? The President they believed in and supported lied to them. To them. Not to the liberal side of the country, who were not going to support the war anyway. Does the Republican Party not realize they have been betrayed?
George Bush, as President of the United States, has a responsibility to represent this country and the values it holds dear. I would like to think those values include integrity and honor. By choosing to act on his own, with no regard for the truth, the President has betrayed the trust we as a people have placed in him. He is no longer acting in the best interests of the country.
He has also made the world less safe for US citizens, not more so.
It is time for the House and the Senate to bring this man to task. To send a clear message to him, and to all would be tyrants, that we will not accept leadership that does not reflect the basic values of truth and honor we hold dear.
Please join me in taking action. Contact your representatives in the House and Senate and demand they get to the bottom of this. Contact the press and demand they keep asking the question, "Mr. President, can you explain why you and your administration doctored intelligence reports to provide justification for the invaion of Iraq." To ask the question until they recieve an answer.
It is our government. Let's take it back.
I have never supported the war with Iraq. I believe we crossed a very dangerous line in March 2003. For the first time in US history, we carried out a war of agression against another country without any provocation. At that moment we became on equal moral footing with the Germans when they marched into Poland.
But what surprises me is that no one who supported this war seems outraged that they were lied to about our reasons for invasion. Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction. Intelligence reports indicated other nations as far more real threats where WMDs were concerned. No concrete link has been found between Iraq and the perpetrators of September 11, 2001.
The Bush Administration, for reasons that are still unclear, decided in the summer of 2002 that they would topple the government of Iraq, and then fixed intelligence reports to garner support for an invasion.
How can the conservatives in this country not be foaming at the mouth? The President they believed in and supported lied to them. To them. Not to the liberal side of the country, who were not going to support the war anyway. Does the Republican Party not realize they have been betrayed?
George Bush, as President of the United States, has a responsibility to represent this country and the values it holds dear. I would like to think those values include integrity and honor. By choosing to act on his own, with no regard for the truth, the President has betrayed the trust we as a people have placed in him. He is no longer acting in the best interests of the country.
He has also made the world less safe for US citizens, not more so.
It is time for the House and the Senate to bring this man to task. To send a clear message to him, and to all would be tyrants, that we will not accept leadership that does not reflect the basic values of truth and honor we hold dear.
Please join me in taking action. Contact your representatives in the House and Senate and demand they get to the bottom of this. Contact the press and demand they keep asking the question, "Mr. President, can you explain why you and your administration doctored intelligence reports to provide justification for the invaion of Iraq." To ask the question until they recieve an answer.
It is our government. Let's take it back.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Site Statistics
My comments below got me to thinking about my readership. I know that friends like Lucky Spinster, the East Coast Alaska Girl, and B, read this blog with some regularity. But I wonder if there is anyone out there reading this that I don't know personally?
About a month ago, I added Site Counter to the site, so I could see how many hits I was getting. I am technologically challenged, however, so I am not quite sure what the stats I am seeing mean.
Does anyone know how to keep your own hits from registering?
Anyhoozle*, if you are reading this, and you think I don't know it, or even if you think I do, please leave a comment and say hello. Or tell me my writing is crap and I should just stick to making pretty pictures on stage.
Thanks.
*Anyhoozle is a word I stole from Lucky Spinster. Thanks Sis.
About a month ago, I added Site Counter to the site, so I could see how many hits I was getting. I am technologically challenged, however, so I am not quite sure what the stats I am seeing mean.
Does anyone know how to keep your own hits from registering?
Anyhoozle*, if you are reading this, and you think I don't know it, or even if you think I do, please leave a comment and say hello. Or tell me my writing is crap and I should just stick to making pretty pictures on stage.
Thanks.
*Anyhoozle is a word I stole from Lucky Spinster. Thanks Sis.
The Next Phase Of The Experiment
As my regular readers* know, a little while ago I began an experiment in internet dating. I posted a profile on Onion Personals, and did a search for women between 32 and 42** living in the DC area. I have respoded to a few profiles I saw online, mostly ones that had made me laugh. I have even recieved from messages from women responding to my profile. I have a somewhat regular email contact with a couple of these women, and two have even moved to private email.
So, on the prodding of Lucky Spinster, I actually screwed my courage to the sticking place, and asked one of these women out. We have a date for drinks and pool early next week.
Stay tuned.
*I get the feeling it is a small readership. But I am grateful for you all.
**In response to some criticism by the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, I decided to confine my search to women within five years of my age.
So, on the prodding of Lucky Spinster, I actually screwed my courage to the sticking place, and asked one of these women out. We have a date for drinks and pool early next week.
Stay tuned.
*I get the feeling it is a small readership. But I am grateful for you all.
**In response to some criticism by the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, I decided to confine my search to women within five years of my age.
Bush Must Resign!
Sorry for the politics, folks. But the Bush Administration's refusal to address the Downing Street Memo has me at a boil.
We have invaded Iraq on false pretenses. The Downing Street Memo seems to prove this. And the most morally reprehensible thing of all? The Bush Administration had absolutely no plan for what would happen after the fall of Saddam Hussein.
It is time for Bush to go. Him and his entire administration. I want to see the resignation of Bush, Cheney, and every member of the cabinet. It is time to dismantle the Department of Homeland Security. It is time to repeal the Patriot Act.
It is time to become the America we could be. An America where all people have an equal voice. An America that recognizes it's foriegn policy debacles, and seeks to correct them. An America that recognizes ours is not the only valid viewpoint in the world. An America that is more concerned with alleviating the suffering people experience in the privacy of their own homes, rather than trying to regulate the joy they find there.
It is time to remove the hypocrasy from American politics.
It is time for us all to act. The government is by the people, and for the people. And it is time to hold every elected official accountable. Somehow they have come to believe they are immune to that accounting. But they are wrong.
I sent this email to the President this evening.
Mr. President,
Your refusal to address the information contained in the Downing Street Memo leaves me with no other conclusion than you have in fact deliberately misled the citizens of the United States about the possible threat posed by Saddam Hussein's government, so that you could engage in a war for your own purposes.
Over fifteen hundred US servicemen have lost their lives in Iraq, as have an estimated 100,000 of Iraqui civilians.
Mr. President, I hearby demand your resignation, as well as the resignations of your entire administration, including the Vice President.
We have invaded Iraq on false pretenses. The Downing Street Memo seems to prove this. And the most morally reprehensible thing of all? The Bush Administration had absolutely no plan for what would happen after the fall of Saddam Hussein.
It is time for Bush to go. Him and his entire administration. I want to see the resignation of Bush, Cheney, and every member of the cabinet. It is time to dismantle the Department of Homeland Security. It is time to repeal the Patriot Act.
It is time to become the America we could be. An America where all people have an equal voice. An America that recognizes it's foriegn policy debacles, and seeks to correct them. An America that recognizes ours is not the only valid viewpoint in the world. An America that is more concerned with alleviating the suffering people experience in the privacy of their own homes, rather than trying to regulate the joy they find there.
It is time to remove the hypocrasy from American politics.
It is time for us all to act. The government is by the people, and for the people. And it is time to hold every elected official accountable. Somehow they have come to believe they are immune to that accounting. But they are wrong.
I sent this email to the President this evening.
Mr. President,
Your refusal to address the information contained in the Downing Street Memo leaves me with no other conclusion than you have in fact deliberately misled the citizens of the United States about the possible threat posed by Saddam Hussein's government, so that you could engage in a war for your own purposes.
Over fifteen hundred US servicemen have lost their lives in Iraq, as have an estimated 100,000 of Iraqui civilians.
Mr. President, I hearby demand your resignation, as well as the resignations of your entire administration, including the Vice President.
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