And that is all I will say about that.
Confused?
Me too.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
And Sometimes I Am A Forgetful Asshole
After my post of yesterday, I would be remiss if I didn't say what an absolute delight all three cast members were to work with.
So Thanx, guys.
So Thanx, guys.
Monday, September 26, 2005
It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Worst Of Times
One of the best things about working in the theatre, is no matter how bad the production process may be, no matter how much you may want to choke the life out of the actors/ director/ choreographer/ costume designer, the show opens, and you can move on to the next project.
One of the worst things about working in the theatre is no matter how good the experience is, it always opens and you must move on to the next project.
I have been having an even mixture of both over the past week and a half. There have been issues with other technical elements on the production, which have caused a lot of stress for the director and myself. But despite that, I have had a wonderful time working with the director, and more recently the playwright. While I am glad to have the production angst over, I am sorry to not have regular contact with some of the people involved.
I frequently go through a bout of post show depression. I am experiencing that right now.
In addition, it seems that my life going so well has tipped the balance and so most of the people I am close to are experiencing horrilble personal traumas. S is still waiting to find out when she can return home to New Orleans, and trying to figure out if there is going to be a life to return to. I have another friend having female related health issues. Another friend's husband abandoned her in June, telling her he "just didn't want to have to think about her when planning his life"*. Two others are contemplating whether they should disolve their current relationships.
It's very hard for me to watch people I care for suffering. I want to mount my white steed, charge in and fix the problem. But of course I can't, and so all I can do is listen, and say "I'm sorry." It doesn't feel like enough. I would like to say to them it's going to be OK, but as much as I don't like to admit it, I am not god, and so have no way to keep that promise.
On to happier topics.
I have been forbidden to blog about it, but I had a very nice time yesterday evening.
*BL, one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, is one of the warmest, most giving, smart, funny and sexy women I have ever known. She is a truley good human being, and after talking with her on the phone, I wanted to take a baseball bat to her ex husband for the way he has treated her.
One of the worst things about working in the theatre is no matter how good the experience is, it always opens and you must move on to the next project.
I have been having an even mixture of both over the past week and a half. There have been issues with other technical elements on the production, which have caused a lot of stress for the director and myself. But despite that, I have had a wonderful time working with the director, and more recently the playwright. While I am glad to have the production angst over, I am sorry to not have regular contact with some of the people involved.
I frequently go through a bout of post show depression. I am experiencing that right now.
In addition, it seems that my life going so well has tipped the balance and so most of the people I am close to are experiencing horrilble personal traumas. S is still waiting to find out when she can return home to New Orleans, and trying to figure out if there is going to be a life to return to. I have another friend having female related health issues. Another friend's husband abandoned her in June, telling her he "just didn't want to have to think about her when planning his life"*. Two others are contemplating whether they should disolve their current relationships.
It's very hard for me to watch people I care for suffering. I want to mount my white steed, charge in and fix the problem. But of course I can't, and so all I can do is listen, and say "I'm sorry." It doesn't feel like enough. I would like to say to them it's going to be OK, but as much as I don't like to admit it, I am not god, and so have no way to keep that promise.
On to happier topics.
I have been forbidden to blog about it, but I had a very nice time yesterday evening.
*BL, one of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, is one of the warmest, most giving, smart, funny and sexy women I have ever known. She is a truley good human being, and after talking with her on the phone, I wanted to take a baseball bat to her ex husband for the way he has treated her.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
And After That Last Post, This Is Somewhat Suprising
| Above Average You scored 60 Fuckability! |
| We might have some fun together, or not. At least you have a better chance with me then the next guy. |
This test tracked 1 variable. How the score compared to the other people's:
|
| Link: The How Fuckable Are You Test written by sadkeylimepie on Ok Cupid |
We Have Long Suspected This
| Woman!! You scored 20 manliness! |
| A real guy would score at least 100 on this test. In fact, a real guy would score at least 150, because he would get the special 50-point bonus for knowing the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer. But you... are not that guy. |
 |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Are You a Real Man Test written by Falkdoctaspot on OkCupid Free Online Dating |
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Am I Exuding Phermones...
Or do I just look that bad?
In the past two weeks, three different men have passed me on the street, given me long, meaningful stares, and then made a comment that has been some variation on "Wow."
I must admit I find myself mystified.
In the past two weeks, three different men have passed me on the street, given me long, meaningful stares, and then made a comment that has been some variation on "Wow."
I must admit I find myself mystified.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Word Verification
I finally got around to turning on word verification for comments. Hopefully my loyal readers/ responders will continue to offer me their whining drivel, er, I mean pithy and searing insights.
That last part was a joke, BTW.
That last part was a joke, BTW.
Monday Morning At The Office
I had to get up early this morning to run some errands this morning before I head to load-in at the Kennedy Center. In plotting out my route this morning, I decided to go to a different branch of my office (Starbucks) than I usually visit to do my online business.
I am now awash in corporate/ government America, a much different breed than the crowd that tend to frequent my local office. While I certainly experience this phenomenon to a certain extent at my usual haunt, it is stunning to me how many of these people behave as if they were the most important person in the universe.
There is a longer rant here, but my heart is not really in it. The truth is, I am happy. And so, though there are negative things going on around me, I cannot focus on them.
I am finally living the life I am supposed to. When you are doing that, it is amazing how much other stuff doesn't bother you.
The show I am cuurently working on for Forum Theatre and Dance, Upshot, is having some technical difficulties related to the use of projections, but I feel good about my work, and I love working with the director, City Mouse. The next day or so may be a little rocky. One of our cast has been in another show, so we have not had the whole cast onstage at the same time in five days. We have had to tech in bits and pieces which has been a little frustrating. Still, the cast has been very positive and upbeat, and I think once we get through the next day or so, we are going to have a really good show.
For those of you wondering about the other things in my life, I am afraid you are just going to have to keep wondering. At least for a while.
Peace in yer crease, yall.
I am now awash in corporate/ government America, a much different breed than the crowd that tend to frequent my local office. While I certainly experience this phenomenon to a certain extent at my usual haunt, it is stunning to me how many of these people behave as if they were the most important person in the universe.
There is a longer rant here, but my heart is not really in it. The truth is, I am happy. And so, though there are negative things going on around me, I cannot focus on them.
I am finally living the life I am supposed to. When you are doing that, it is amazing how much other stuff doesn't bother you.
The show I am cuurently working on for Forum Theatre and Dance, Upshot, is having some technical difficulties related to the use of projections, but I feel good about my work, and I love working with the director, City Mouse. The next day or so may be a little rocky. One of our cast has been in another show, so we have not had the whole cast onstage at the same time in five days. We have had to tech in bits and pieces which has been a little frustrating. Still, the cast has been very positive and upbeat, and I think once we get through the next day or so, we are going to have a really good show.
For those of you wondering about the other things in my life, I am afraid you are just going to have to keep wondering. At least for a while.
Peace in yer crease, yall.
Friday, September 16, 2005
My Brain Is Mush
But we have the beginnings of a show.
The cast have been wonderfully patient with an extremely tech heavy show, and their good spirits have been a godsend this week.
Brain oozing out of ear now, but more later.
The cast have been wonderfully patient with an extremely tech heavy show, and their good spirits have been a godsend this week.
Brain oozing out of ear now, but more later.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
A Skip In My Step
On my way home from rehearsal last night, I stopped outside Starbucks to check my email.
I walked home with a bigger grin on my face than I have had in a long time.
I walked home with a bigger grin on my face than I have had in a long time.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
One Of The Great Things About Blogging
Sometimes the act of writing down a complaint in a public forum is that it actually goads you into doing something about it.
Contact has been made.
And now we wait.
Contact has been made.
And now we wait.
I Am Such A Wanker
From yesterday's post, I got the contact info for the person I had been thinking about asking out. And now I am too nervous to actually use it.
And this is why I am still single, I guess.
And this is why I am still single, I guess.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Do We Think This Is A Sign?
The day after I decided to end my dating boycott, the site I have a personals profile on, The Onion, went to a pay site.
And the one person I was thinking of asking out I have no way to contact.
It was easier in the cave.
And the one person I was thinking of asking out I have no way to contact.
It was easier in the cave.
Leap And The Net Will Appear: A Testimonial
At 3:00 PM on Friday, I ended my summer day job.
I am now totally self employed, living the life of a freelance designer.
A part of me is scared shitless.
But the larger part of me is happier than I have ever been in my life. It has taken me a long time to get here. I had to go through a false start in college, a failed marriage and the loss of many of my dearest friends to reach this point, but I am finally living the life I am supposed to live.
Of course many would say the life I am supposed to live is one of seeking security, securing a good paying job with benefits. Owning a home and settling down with someone. But I tried all that (except the home ownership thing), and what the universe kept whispering to me, though I refused to listen for a long time, was that I had to feed my soul.
I believe to be truly happy, you have to do what you are. Unfortunetly for some, doing what you are goes in direct contradiction to what our culture says is a reasonable pursuit. Most people in the arts face low wages, lack of health insurance and other benefits, difficulty finding a partner who understands the needs of our profession*, and a society at large that often questions whether what we do is worthwhile. Well meaning friends and family members often harp upon these issues.
So it is easy to doubt. I did it for a long time. I lived a half life existence where I tried to maintain a standard of material comfort for myself and my exwife, and pursue my tue passion in my spare time. And I found this half involvement in the arts even more frustrating.
But finally, I could no longer deny who I was. And I started on a path.
Or, more acurately, I began to leap.
And the net appeared.
I decided to return to school to finish my degree at North Carolina School of the Arts. I applied and was accepted, but was unable to come up with the tution. I was talking about it with my father, and he said "send me the bill and I will pay it." He payed over $30,000 in tuition over the next two years while I fininshed my BFA. The net appeared.
In March of last year, while graduation was approaching and I was trying to figure out how I would be able to afford moving and restarting a stalled career, I got a call from a friend who was the general manager of the rigging company I used to work for. She offered me three months of work for the summer, which allowed me to get back on my feet in the community I wanted to work in. The net appeared.
Three weeks ago, while I was trying to figure out how long I was going to have to keep working the day job, I got three work offers that have let me go back to being a freelance artist. The net appeared.
If you can let go of your fear, have a little faith, and boldly pursue the life you know in your soul you are supposed to be living, you will be surprised at the ways in which the universe will open the path before you.
Leap, and the net will appear.
It really does work.
I am now totally self employed, living the life of a freelance designer.
A part of me is scared shitless.
But the larger part of me is happier than I have ever been in my life. It has taken me a long time to get here. I had to go through a false start in college, a failed marriage and the loss of many of my dearest friends to reach this point, but I am finally living the life I am supposed to live.
Of course many would say the life I am supposed to live is one of seeking security, securing a good paying job with benefits. Owning a home and settling down with someone. But I tried all that (except the home ownership thing), and what the universe kept whispering to me, though I refused to listen for a long time, was that I had to feed my soul.
I believe to be truly happy, you have to do what you are. Unfortunetly for some, doing what you are goes in direct contradiction to what our culture says is a reasonable pursuit. Most people in the arts face low wages, lack of health insurance and other benefits, difficulty finding a partner who understands the needs of our profession*, and a society at large that often questions whether what we do is worthwhile. Well meaning friends and family members often harp upon these issues.
So it is easy to doubt. I did it for a long time. I lived a half life existence where I tried to maintain a standard of material comfort for myself and my exwife, and pursue my tue passion in my spare time. And I found this half involvement in the arts even more frustrating.
But finally, I could no longer deny who I was. And I started on a path.
Or, more acurately, I began to leap.
And the net appeared.
I decided to return to school to finish my degree at North Carolina School of the Arts. I applied and was accepted, but was unable to come up with the tution. I was talking about it with my father, and he said "send me the bill and I will pay it." He payed over $30,000 in tuition over the next two years while I fininshed my BFA. The net appeared.
In March of last year, while graduation was approaching and I was trying to figure out how I would be able to afford moving and restarting a stalled career, I got a call from a friend who was the general manager of the rigging company I used to work for. She offered me three months of work for the summer, which allowed me to get back on my feet in the community I wanted to work in. The net appeared.
Three weeks ago, while I was trying to figure out how long I was going to have to keep working the day job, I got three work offers that have let me go back to being a freelance artist. The net appeared.
If you can let go of your fear, have a little faith, and boldly pursue the life you know in your soul you are supposed to be living, you will be surprised at the ways in which the universe will open the path before you.
Leap, and the net will appear.
It really does work.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
It's Time To Face It
George Bush is quite possibly the worst leader in the history of the US Presidency. The man has completely bungled every crisis the US has faced.
Supporters of the Presidential Imbecile point out that W cut short his vacation to come back to Washington and deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
W is, as part of his job, Commander In Chief of the nations armed forces. As we are at war in two different countries, one is left wondering,
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF DOING ON VACATION?!?!?!?!
Are any of the officers or enlisted men currently stationed in Iraq allowed to go on vacation? I don't think so.
The hurricane struck last monday. Why did he wait untiil Wednesday to return to Washington?
When is the nation going top wise up and realise this man is leading s down the road to ruin?
And we are paying a premium at the gas pump while we do it.
But that is a rant for another time.
Supporters of the Presidential Imbecile point out that W cut short his vacation to come back to Washington and deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
W is, as part of his job, Commander In Chief of the nations armed forces. As we are at war in two different countries, one is left wondering,
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF DOING ON VACATION?!?!?!?!
Are any of the officers or enlisted men currently stationed in Iraq allowed to go on vacation? I don't think so.
The hurricane struck last monday. Why did he wait untiil Wednesday to return to Washington?
When is the nation going top wise up and realise this man is leading s down the road to ruin?
And we are paying a premium at the gas pump while we do it.
But that is a rant for another time.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Only Five More Days
I have only five more working days on which I have to get up at 4:30 AM.
Woo Hoo!
Woo Hoo!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Will Work For Work
I am going to try to set up a network to help people displaced by the Hurricane find temporary work. Most of the people I know who are coming into this area are coming from service industries, so if you know someone who owns a restaurant or bar that might be able to employ some temporary help, please let me know.
I will be investigating putting this info into it's own space, so people can post or view listings directly.
I will be investigating putting this info into it's own space, so people can post or view listings directly.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Only A Few Moments Here
But I wanted to post a bit about the hurricane and it's aftermath.
First, special thanks to all who have called or emailed your concerns about S.
She is safely in Maryland, staying at her mother's house. She is frantic about friends from NO, and whether or not she has a home or job to return to, but otherwise she is fine.
Times like these test faith, even the faith in Atheism. I sometimes wonder if these sorts of things happen to allow humanity to redeem itself by reaching out to their fellow mankind with compassion.
The fucking morons who are shooting at ambulances attempting to evacuate hospitals in New Orleans, are failing this test miserably.
The National Gaurd is on it's way (and would have been there before now had most of them not been on active duty in Iraq!), and an already tragic situation is about to turn bloody.
Please donate what you can to the American Red cross, and designate the money for hurricane relief. This situation is going to strain relief agencies to degrees we cannot imagine.
Peace
First, special thanks to all who have called or emailed your concerns about S.
She is safely in Maryland, staying at her mother's house. She is frantic about friends from NO, and whether or not she has a home or job to return to, but otherwise she is fine.
Times like these test faith, even the faith in Atheism. I sometimes wonder if these sorts of things happen to allow humanity to redeem itself by reaching out to their fellow mankind with compassion.
The fucking morons who are shooting at ambulances attempting to evacuate hospitals in New Orleans, are failing this test miserably.
The National Gaurd is on it's way (and would have been there before now had most of them not been on active duty in Iraq!), and an already tragic situation is about to turn bloody.
Please donate what you can to the American Red cross, and designate the money for hurricane relief. This situation is going to strain relief agencies to degrees we cannot imagine.
Peace
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