In Case You Were Wondering

My landlady here in NY is an effing whacko!

Just thought you would like to know.

What A Difference A Year Makes

About a year ago, I wrote a post about how much I liked New York in the Spring.

It still holds true a year later.

But unlike this time last year, I am not here on my last gig of the season with no work to look forward to. Right now I am booked through October. And the work keeps rolling in.

Also unlike last year, I have someone in my life who puts a big smile on my face. For the first time in a long time I left town for work with a sense of regret. And that is a good thing. It makes me look forward to coming home.

So things are great. Something I sometimes have a hard time adjusting to. But I am beginning to get used to it.

Peace in yer crease.

What's New?

So where the heck have ya'll been?

Just kidding.

Clearly I have been less than diligent about writing here on the ol blog. In my defense, I have been a bit busy of late, so have not had a great deal of free time.

So what's been going on?

I have been in tech for about the past six weeks. The most recent show, The Oracle with African Continuum, was a wonderful experience from a creative standpoint, and is some of the best lighting I have ever done. Go see it, not for my lighting, but for the fabulous work done by the other designers as well as for the cast who are fantastic.

I am trying to get my ducks in a row so I am prepared to go to NY on Thursday. I will be there for about three weeks assisting D on Beyond Glory at Roundabout Theatre.

Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile probably remember that last summer was a bit stressful because of a lack of work, among other things. No such worries this year. I am at the moment booked pretty solidly through early October. There are a few small gaps in there, but since i just opened my 20th show this season as a Designer or assistant, I will be trying to take it easy during those times.

What free time I have had has been spent with my girlfriend.

I will pause now whilst you pick yourselves up off the floor.




Yes, I used the words "my girlfriend" and I wasn't being ironic. I won't share details here, but if I am not posting a lot for the next while, I hope you will understand.

Peace in yer crease, folks. I love you all.

Things To Look Forward To

On Friday I load in Sleeping and Waking for Charter Theatre. We tech over the weekend and have previews mid next week. I really like the script and am enjoying the challenge of making the show work in a small space with limited resources.

Next week load in begins for The Oracle with African Continuum. I am designing both Scenery and lighting, and although I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed, I am really psyched about the chance to do a big show again.

I am looking forward to something else I won't share here, but it has put a smile on my face more than once during what has been a very stressful week.

Peace out, bitches!

Things To Look Forward To

On Friday I load in Sleeping and Waking for Charter Theatre. We tech over the weekend and have previews mid next week. I really like the script and am enjoying the challenge of making the show work in a small space with limited resources.

Next week load in begins for The Oracle with African Continuum. I am designing both Scenery and Lighting, and although I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed, I am really psyched about the chance to do a big show again.

I am looking forward to something else I won't share here, but it has put a smile on my face more than once during what has been a very stressful week.

Peace out, bitches!

Things Not To Do At 5:00 AM

Leave your X-Acto knife lying on the floor and forget about it.

Because you will find it with your foot.

Who knew a foot could bleed that much?

That Galloping Sound You Hear ...

...is probably the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse.

For the first time in a very long time, I am content.

I am not just content, I am truly happy.

My professional life could not be going better.

I have friends who love me, despite their better impulses.

Other things I will not discuss here.

It has been a great week for me personally.

Virginia Tech.

I am heartbroken by the events at Virginia Tech yesterday.

As I try to wrap my head around it, I keep going back to Cho Seung-hui, the gunman. I am saddened that this 23 year old young man ever got to that emotional place where killing 32 people and then taking his own life seemed like the right thing to do.

A lot of questioning and examining will be done in Blacksburg and across the country over the next several weeks. It is my sincere hope that while the pundits are asking about this kid's mental stability and whether there were missed warning signs, we will take a few moments to look at what drove this young man to act in this way.

My deepest sympathies are with the victims and their families, and the entire faculty, staff and student body at Virginia Tech.

Please, be good to one another.

To Quote U2

"I still haven't found what I'm looking for..."

That would be a ticket to the Helen Hayes Awards.

How To Tell It's Getting Towards The End Of The Season

My ability to suffer fools gladly is greatly diminished.

Helen Hayes Tickets

Anyone got one they would like to sell?

My Life At The Moment

The Good Stuff:

For the past three days I have been assisting D on Alex in Wonderland at the Kennedy Center. We had an invited dress rehearsal last night, and it was the first time I have had a chance to watch the show. At one point in the stage directions is written "Pharoh's army of cute, tap-dancing bunnies enters". And they do. I love that a part of my job is to watch tap-dancing bunnies.

I received my Union card in the mail last week. I won't go into all that means to me, but it was a big moment.

I have work lined up until the middle of June, and already have six gigs for next season. I might even be able to not work between the end of this season and the beginning of the next.

One of the gigs I have is to design Scenery and Lighting for Hedwig and The Angry Inch. It's one of my favorite shows ever.

I decided the time had come to revive the DC Theatre Technician Cattle Call, and the response has been overwhelming. Three days ago we filled the last of our interview slots, and we have more than thirty theatres and production companies being represented. It will make for a busy Saturday, but hopefully I will get to have cocktails with ECAG-Retired afterwards.

It is beginning to look like I will have AC for the summer.

The Not So Good Stuff:

I am having real insomnia issues. It is becoming something of a pain.

I still have had no luck in striking that work/life balance thing. I have no personal life because I have so much work, but if I am honest with myself a small part of the reason I take so much work is because I don't really have a personal life. Snake eating it's own tail, doncha know.

S' phone died several weeks ago. This is the longest we have gone without talking since before we started dating. It is just plain weird that I can't pick up the phone and call her. I feel un-moored.

About 90 percent of the time I am happy and content with the overall status of my life. Really, I would have to be an imbecile not to be. I get paid to watch cute tap-dancing bunnies for god's sake. But every once in a while a wave of loneliness washes over me that is so heavy I have difficulty breathing, let alone moving. Then things pretty much suck.

I Am So Fucked!

My X-Box 360 was delivered today.

Reading My Stuff

Quite awhile ago I embedded Statcounter code in my blog. I get a weekly report telling me how many pageloads The Lighting Designer's Life recieves on a daily basis.

Recently I discovered that I had access to far more information regarding the visits here, including IP addresses and their country, city and state of origin. I can find out what links brought people here, how long they stayed, and how many times they come back.

Initially it sort of creeped me out, felt far too Big Brother for my tastes. Yet I find I am addicted to the info.

Things I have discovered:

People google the weirdest shit and get links to my blog. Things like "for the rain it raineth every day", "how do you do young willie mcbride", and my personal recent favorite, "sometimes you just stand there, hip deep in pie".

Not surprisingly, most of my readers are from the DC area, but I also have regular visits from people in in NY, California, Florida and Massachusetts. In addition, I have had readers from England, Canada, Mexico, South Africa, and China.

I have a regular reader that sometimes visits this blog five times a day. Unusual for reasons I won't go into.

It is odd to know not just that there are people are reading this, but also knowing from where, and in some cases who they are.

Update

My last day in California.

We had our second preview last night, and the cast received a standing ovation. The show is funny (I am still laughing even after having seen it all week) and I am happy with my work, given the limitations of the equipment.

I met someone last night who would actually make me reconsider my "Don't Date Actors" rule.

I had to bow out of designing the next show out here because I now have a gig assisting D at Roundabout Theatre in May. I am excited about both the project and the chance to hang out in NY for a couple of weeks.

I already have two gigs lined up for next season, one of which is designing scenery and lighting for Hedwig and The Angry Inch out here.

I have a lot of work to catch up on when I get back to DC tomorrow.

S's cell phone died a couple of weeks ago. We have emailed back and forth, but it has been strange not actually speaking to her.

More soon.

For Those Of You Wondering

I made it safely to California.

My Favorite Starbucks In Manhattan

The one on the corner of West 43rd and 8th Avenue.

I have been here for the better part of four hours, reading the mounds of paperwork I picked up today at the union office, and watching the world go by.

I just wish I didn't have to wait another four hours to get on my train to come home.

NY Weather Report

It is a wee bit chillier than I had planned on.

No, that is not some metaphor. I am freezing my ass off up here.

Am I The Only One Who Thinks This?

In this whole debate about whether to withdraw troops from Iraq or not, a lot of noise is being made that by fighting the insurgency there, we are not actually engaged in the "War On Terror" because Al-Qaeda is not operating in Iraq.

I have to admit to having doubts about whether the "War On Terror" is one we should be fighting to begin with.

Nothing is gained by responding to violence with violence. A saying attributed to Confucious goes "Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

So what would happen if instead of dropping bombs, invading nations, kidnapping and torturing people, we engaged in a dialog with those nations where terrorists are being recruited? What if we sought to help those governments improve infrastructure such as roads, power plants and water treatment facilities? What if we helped fund educational institutions and granted small business loans to help stimulate economic growth? What if we did all of this with absolutely no strings attached?

What if instead of being the boot that kicks, we became the hand that fed?

Do we think we would still face the same threat of terrorism as we do today?

I Don't Know ABout You Guys...

...but I want my damned hour back!

Random Stuff

I go to NY on Tuesday to pay my initiation fee to United Scenic Artists. After that I will only need to be sworn in. It will be good to have all that behind me.

On Thursday I fly to CA to light Lend Me A Tenor. I am excited about the show but wish I had a few more days to tie up loose ends and see where something is going.

I am now booked pretty solidly through late June. A good feeling.

I have made a decision to stop paying attention to age, mine and others. If it seems right, why should age stand in the way?

Still struggling with that life vs work balance thing.

I am really glad I have gotten to hang out with the folks from Perseverance while they are in town.

Because I have been so busy with work lately, I don't have much food in the apartment. I want to go grocery shopping and do some cooking, but I don't want to leave food around while I am in CA for a week and a half.

On a related note, I am getting tired of cooking just for myself. Some of you folks need to come over for dinner. And you know who you are.

Must be up early to prep for a meeting, so I am off to bed.

Peace out.

I Am Going To Hell

I will see some of you there.

An Update Of Sorts

As is probably obvious, I made it back from New Orleans in one piece. I had a blast and am already making plans to go next year. I saw one parade, actually marched in another, and saw more boobies than I could count. What I did not see was much of S, she was working pretty much the whole time I was there.

I returned to DC to spend 74 hours in one week at my "part time" job. That is largely the reason for the light posting of late.

An old friend from High School has doggedly been tracking me down, and it looks like we might hang out this weekend for the first time in (gulp!) twenty years.

Hearing from him has been a much needed reminder that I am often not good with taking the time out to see those who are close to me. We tend to always say yes to work in this business, because you don't know when the offers will stop coming in. I think I need to have a little more faith in myself and trust that people will still call me even if I say no once in a while.

I am struggling to find a balance behind work and having a life. The past few months have been much more with the work than they have been with the life. I think i am still freaked out about last summer and the three months sans income. But right now I feel the no life thing is getting pretty effing old.

I have to take a moment to say how much I love the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse. I really don't know what I would do without these ladies in my life. A tender shoulder and tough love. What more could a guy ask for?

I have spent the past two days at Theatre On The Run in Arlington, loading in and teching 37 Stones for Charter Theatre. Monday night I was certain my part of it was going to be a total disaster, but we cued through the whole show this evening and I am actually pretty happy with the results. We will see how it all holds together in the run tomorrow night.

It is late, and time for me to go to bed.

Peace out bitches!

Nope!

Don't get women.

Not at all.

Go See This

I am in tech both nights, but you folks have no excuse!

The Best Thing About Online Dating

You both know what you are there for.

Ughh!

Beginning of day 4.

Hour 45.

14 more to go today.

"Part Time" job my ass!

Off To The Big Easy

I leave for the airport in about 30 minutes.

I am doing a little Lighting Designer unplugged thing and not taking my laptop, so there will be no posting until I return.

Be good to one another while I am gone.

Peace out!

So This Must Be What We Meant....

...when we said we were bringing Freedom and Democracy to the Iraqi people.

An article in Wednesday's NY Times reported that Lt General Aboud Quanbar, who runs both the Ministry of Defense and the Ministry of the Interior in Iraq, has unveiled a plan to stop sectarian bloodshed in Baghdad by ordering tens of thousands of residents to leave homes they are occupying illegally.

Other parts of General Quanbar's plan include closing the borders with Syria and Iran, as well as having the government break into homes and cars it (emphasis mine) deemed dangerous, open mail and eavesdrop on telephone calls.

Hmmmm. Can't you just taste the Freedom?

Why I Prefer To Work At Home

In the room next to my office, there has been an alarm going off for two days.

It seems far more annoying to me today, but that may be because I am a wee bit hung over this morning.

Stuff

The "part time job" I started in late December has been eating up more and more of my time of late. I am not sure what the long term is going to be with this thing.

I am really excited about upcoming projects, including 37 Stones with Charter Theatre, and The Oracle for African Continuum (for which I am also designing scenery).

I will not even attempt to weigh in on the Helen Hayes noms. But really, how many theatres with an annual operating budget below 8 million are represented?

In New Orleans soon. Soon.

Six Days From Now...

...I will be laying face down in a pool of my own vomit*.

ie. I will be in New Orleans for Mardi Gras.


*I am of course, kidding. We at The Lighting Designer's Life encourage everyone to drink responsibly.

And BTW...

...where the hell did Friday go?

Aren't I Too Old For This?

And by this, I mean pulling an all nighter to get a project done.

LD is a wee bit cranky this evening.

Other Stuff Going On This Week

I have a ticket to see Shakespeare's Rape Of Lucrece at WSC Friday night. The show was written and directed by two members of the MSGAP*.

I have begun to bury the hatchet with someone I was once very close to.

I have a one-off I am designing at the Atlas this weekend. The first bit of design work in the new year.

In a little over nine days I will be in New Orleans. But really, who's counting.

I discovered tonight that I have a blog reader I was previously un-aware of. Hopefully they are not the person who has been posting anonymously the past few days.

*MSGAP: Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse

How You Know It Is Too Damned Cold Out

I actually listened to a whole Doors song while walking home because I didn't want to unzip my coat to reach my iPod.

And Sometimes You Just Stand There...

Dan: " You know sometimes it's worth it. Standing there taking all of those pies in the face sometimes really pays off."

Pause

Dan: " So how was your day?"

Casey: "And sometimes you just stand there. Hip deep in pie."

Sports Night*


*I loaned my copies of Sports Night, so I may have paraphrased the first part of that quote a little.

:)

:)


That is all.

Good Stuff

If you want to see the show that will win the 2008 Helen Hayes Awards for Outstanding Scenery and Lighting Designs, go see this show.

It is the best design work I have ever seen.

Grrr!

As you probably remember, in October I took the exam to be admitted into United Scenic Artists, the union that represents designers of scenery, lighting, and costumes for theatre, opera, dance, film, and television. The following week I received notice that the exam committee was recommending me for union membership, and a vote would be made by the general membership.

And that was the last I heard from the union.

After several months of waiting, I finally called the union office on Friday, to be told that none of the people who had passed the exam had been brought on the floor at the November meeting, or at the January meeting. So now I wait until February 20th, when hopefully the office staff will have it's shit together enough to put my application into the meeting agenda.

And these are the people who are supposed to have a grasp on my pension and welfare?

So far, I am not impressed.

Hey, Where The Hell Ya Been?

I looked at the ol blog a few days ago and realized I did not post at all in the month of January. I would love to say it was because I was too busy having wild monkey-sex with some really hot chick, but alas I have no such excuse. Indeed, I have no excuse at all. I was busy with work, but no more than usual. I have just been a wanker.

So what have I been up to?

I spent the Christmas break with S and her mother. Several days of doing nothing but eating good food, drinking good wine and hanging out. Exactly what the doctor ordered.

The beginning of January was spent settling into a new part time work situation. Perhaps more on that later.

The end part of January was spent assisting D on Jitney at Ford's Theatre, and then on Crave at Signature Theatre. Both shows were great experiences, and a wonderful reminder that the production process does not have to be fraught with angst.

And in case you were worried I had gone out and developed a social life while you were not looking, have no fear. Such an event does not seem likely to occur, does it?

What is coming up for LD? In two weeks I fly to New Orleans to visit S for Mardi Gras. My liver may not make it back intact.

In March I am designing lighting for this show at Charter Theatre, then flying back out to California to light Lend Me A Tenor at Towne Hall Theatre.

I am also launching on a decorating project in the cave, er I mean apartment.

But right now I have to finish my NEA/TCG grant application and finish importing my CD collection into iTunes.

More later.

Peace out, bitches.

Oh! Dear! God!

I am such a pussy!

And In A Marketing Sort Of Way

My Designer website.

Turning The Corner

At Playbill this evening, I had a brief discussion with a director whose work I admire very much. That forty-five second exchange left me feeling better about my choice of career than I have in months.

The Fall was stupidly busy. It was also frequently busy with things that, although they paid really well, had little if anything to do with being a designer. Given that I went through a lot of trouble and no small expense to become a part of United Scenic Artists, the union that represents theatrical designers, the lack of design work has been exceptionally discouraging.

Having that moment this evening of "Oh yeah, you are someone I would be really excited to work with!" has recharged the ole battery a bit and I feel motivated to try and find more design work.

Now I just have to get better at marketing/ publicity...

Random Wedneday Musings

My work life at the moment is a bit like trying to jam six gallons of water into a five gallon bucket. Yet I still keep taking more work.

It looks like S will be coming for Christmas. Woot!

Although the warmer weather is nice, it does make it difficult to get into the holiday spirit.

At least it isn't warm enough for flops.

I have serious doubts about the Democratic Congress' abilities to do anything worthwhile. That makes me sad.

I recently watched the entire series Sportsnight on DVD. How did that show get cancelled after only two seasons?

I don't get women. At all.

The Thing You Are Never Supposed To Say

I am tired of being single.

It Really Is The Devil

After over two years without one, I finally broke down and bought a TV. I was tired of watching DVDs on my laptop, so I purchased it and a DVD player online. Both arrived last week in the midst of tech for a show. I got them hooked up, and even patched in my Laserdisc player this evening.

The damn thing has been on almost constantly when I have been at home.

I am NOT getting cable, or I will never get anything done.

Semantic Question For The MSGAP*

Is there a difference between "the guy I am seeing" and "my boyfriend"?


* Multi- State, Girlie- Advising Posse

Did I Miss Something?

In the past few months I have observed several men, all of whom seem old enough to know better, sporting mohawks.

Someone please splain.

Second Time Is The Charm

Received this in my inbox today.

We are pleased to inform you that the Lighting Design Exam Committee has approved your application for membership into the United Scenic Artists Local 829 and will recommend to the General Membership that you be admitted to the Union.

Woot!

Random Shit

Back home from California. The show went very well and the reviews so far have been positive.

I have been trying for about a month to find a time to meet someone I met through Onion Personals for coffee. The Onion Personals tagline is "For people who already have a life." Apparently, we both have so much of a life that the first time we meet face to face may be in November.

Lucky Spinster has completed her stint at the MacDowell Colony, and hopefully will be back in DC soon. Food and adult beverages with her and ECAG (Retired) are definitley in order.

The next three weeks promise to be absolute hell. I am double booked this week and I am taking the United Scenic Artists exam on Saturday in NY. An event for which I am not the least bit prepared.

I am contemplating someone I met over a year ago. We went out twice, but I decided to see where something with someone else would go. It went nowhere. The question for the MSGAP (and anyone else who wants to chime in) is, how weird would it be to call her now?

I finally have a dining table and chairs. And blinds. The apartment is beginning to feel a bit like home now. And I've only lived here a little over two years.

More later. Peace in yer crease.

A Long Overdue Update

I am sitting in a Starbucks in Lafayette, CA. I am here to design Scenery and Lighting for Copenhagen. The show is going well. We teched throught he whole thing yesterday, and I am mostly happy with the results. There is still some poking at it that needs to be done, but I feel confident the show will be in fine shape when I head home on Friday.

I have more work in DC this season than I did last season. And since I am managing to be home more, I am endeavoring to actually have something of a life outside of just working. In pursuit of that, I have been trying to be more social with my friends and family. I have also been reading more. I read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, and How To Be Good while I was in Alaska, and I just finished Middlesex, which was fabulous.

Another part of trying to have a life is I have leaped into the dating pool again. We will see how that goes.

I left my iPod at home by accident. My heart is filled with sadness.

My heart is also filled with sadness over North Korea's nuclear test yesterday.

Trying to figure out what to do for Thanksgiving.

More later. I promise to attempt to write a little more often.

Peace in yer crease.

Hello

I am still alive, and made it safely to California.

Dear Tabloid Skewered Celebrities

Yes, you are right. Often the photographers and reporters working for these publications use sleazy tactics to catch you at your worst moments. They are the bottom feeders you complain of.

But if you are writing a check to a publicist every month, then when it comes to this issue you need to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Thank You

As I write this, I am sitting on the floor outside the "Admirals Lounge" at Seattle- Tacoma International airport. We opened Hamlet last night, although I was not able to watch the first act because I was sewing scenery pieces for my next show. I did slip in to watch the second act, which is the part where everyone dies.

Hope I didn't spoil it for anyone.

Despite being exhausted, I could not sleep last night because I had a 6:50 AM flight and I was afraid I would oversleep. So I sat up and read Nick Hornby's How To Be Good. I enjoyed it, but am not yet sure how I feel about the ending.

Obviously, I was not so good with the whole writing every day thing. I really have no excuse. For the first time since I started working at Perseverance, I had a Master Electrician to execute the physical part of the design. I even had an assistant who kept track of paperwork (and me*) during the whole process. As a designer I felt totally supported.

So why no writing? I am not sure. Part of it was practical. I had no internet access where I was staying, so I had to get online at the theatre. It is hard to have a private moment there.

Really I have not been writing because I have not had much to say, and I have been tired. I think the play really got me down. Here is a family, the place where you are supposed to be safe and loved and cared for, yet they cheat and lie and eventually murder one another. With all of the terrible crap going on everywhere in the real world, I guess I was not ready to watch horrific events on the stage as well.

I don't know. I always feel reflective when I leave Juneau, and since I fear it may have been my last time there, I am even more so.

Please try to be good to one another and yourself.

* I came to the conclusion that I had become D. My assistant told me where to stand and what we were doing next, and I brought her cookies, although they were not nearly as good as R's.

A Grouchy Stream Of Concious

I am grouchy I have no internet access where I am staying so I have to come to the theatre to check email where I can recieve it but not send it because of some network isssue that no one has been able to resolve on top of which my domain address has been bouncing back a mass of messages for the last month so no one seems to be able to get ahold of me via email and I don't have time to contact my hosting service and investigate the problem and my cellphone does not work up here so I have to use a calling card and most of my friends are control freaks and won't answer their phones if they do not recognize the number so I play phone tag and oh by the way my father had a heart attack last week and now I am in family life hell which is compounded by being three thousand miles away so I cannot deal with anyone directly and I am four hours behind the east coast which gives me a very short window to talk to call people or try and get business done especially since we have been in the theatre till around one am so I cannot sleep in if I want to talk to anyone back home and I am trying to find materials for a show in NY next week but that of course is difficult for the aforementioned reasons plus I do not really know NY well enough to know where to go for things and I am eating like crap here and starting to get sick and there are a whole host of show related issues I cannot even begin to discuss and I am lonely and really would the world go spinning off of it's axis if i were to get laid every once in a while and I have not been able to do laundry since I arrived here and I do not know when I will have a chance to before I leave here and head for NY.

No, I Have Not Been Eaten By A Bear

But, after six fruitless trips up here to Juneau, I have finally managed to see one in the wild.

I went with A and E out to see a friend at what is called a Salmon Bake. It is basically something they set up for the tourists who come in on the cruise ships. They bus them out into the woods where a number of large grills are set up. Everyone pays an exhorbitant fee to sit outside, eat salmon and other foods, and listen to my friend Betsy sing funny tunes.

We had gone out on an invitation from Betsy. She was able to get us in for free, and we were hanging out and eating when Betsy exclaimed "Oh, I almost forgot. There is a bear here."

We moved over a bit to observe a very large black bear, nestled in a tree taking a nap. He moved several times, trying to find a more comfortable position. He was adorable, in that whole large animal capable of ripping your head off with one swipe of his paw sort of a way.

There are other tales, but they will have to wait.

So Much For That Whole Writing Every Day Thing

Yeah, about that....

In my defense, I have been busy. I am at the theatre close to 13 hours a day*, and trying to keep my head above water on four other shows at the same time.

Little of interest has happened really. The somewhat relaxing weekend rolled into a rather hectic week. We had a dry tech of sorts on Monday, sans actors. Tuesday night we began with the cast. A lot to do. The first scene took almost the whole evening, what with the lightning, sound, fog, lighting, costumes and makeup. Last night rolled through a little better, though we did not reach the end of act one.

Our fight choreographer arrives on Saturday, so we have to be to the fight scene by then. It is the last scene of the play, but the fight will take a great deal of time to stage.

More later I am sure.

Juneau- Day Three

I am afraid I don't have much today.

Cooked dinner for a bunch of people from the theatre last night. Pan- seared salmon in a red wine reduction sauce, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, bread, and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Also a very relaxing evening of good people and good conversation.

Sat through a run through of the play this afternoon. Impressed.

Off for the rest of the evening and again no idea what to do.

Have not seen bears yet.

Juneau, Day Two

As a little exercise, I have decided to try and post every day while I am here in sunny* Juneau, Alaska. I am here to design Hamlet for Perseverance Theatre. Both I and E, my intrepid assistant, arrived very late Thursday night/ Friday morning.

We showed up at the theatre yesterday morning to get our bearings, see how scenery and lighting were coming along, get connected to the theatre's network, and attend a production meeting. We also met AL, the new electrics intern, who had the plot up and raring to go.

We started focus last night, and actually finished this afternoon, six hours ahead of schedule. I am as giddy as a schoolgirl, although I am not used to having free time when I am here. A Saturday night in Juneau, and no idea what to do with myself.

So far things are going well. It is a little frightening.

I will write more tomorrow. Now we are off to have dinner with A, the theatre's TD.

Peace in yer crease.

*And by sunny I mean rain drenched. The ten day forecast is for showers every day and temps in the low 50s.

For The Rain, It Raineth Everyday

For those of you monitering this for news of my health, I made it safely to Juneau. Both the flight to Seattle and the flight to Juneau were delightfully un-eventful, although I am annoyed by this whole "You can't carry a bottle of water on the plane, even if you purchased it at a kisok after going through security" thing. It seems to me the message is that they can't ensure security of the space even after you go through the screening.

And I was told today that it has been raining in Juneau for 25 days now.

S

I am in a funk.

I spent three days last week in Chicago with S, the founder of the Multi-State, Girlie-Advising Posse, and her mother (also a good friend of mine). We had a great time. Looked at some art at the Art Institute of Chicago (including my favorite painting), as well as stained glass at the Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows on Navy Pier. We also ate great food and drank great wine in a number of spots, like Quartino.

So why the funk?

When we get to spend time together I am reminded how woven into the fabric of my life she actually is. I don't ever feel awkward around her. I can say what is on my mind, and we can sit around talking about just about anything for hours on end. We can also sit quietly with one another. There is no such thing as an uncomfortable silence when I am with her.

And when we have to part, it is as though I have lost my right arm. I miss her terribly.

Regrets

I make a serious effort not to have them. For a very long time I played lots of my life safely, hoping to avoid regretting things I had done. I believed I was trying to avoid hurting anyone, although perhaps I just did not want to feel bad about doing so. Either way, the regrets I ended up with were about the things I had not done, the possibilities not pursued.

After my divorce, I vowed I would never again regret the path not taken. And of course now my regrets center around the fallout of choices I have made. Friendships lost or irrevocably altered, all because I didn't just keep my mouth shut.

Are we supposed to learn something from these experiences? I feel like it is the snake eating it's own tail. The choice is don't take a risk and wonder what might have been, or leap forward and change your life for the worse.

Regret the thing you do, or regret the thing you didn't? Either way, you're fucked.

Sometimes...

...I am a huge putz.

That is all.

GRRRR!

WTF is it with theatre festivals (and some regional theatres) scheduling things at the last minute?

I got an email yesterday that informed me I had a meeting in a week and a half. In New York. Too bad I booked a trip to Chicago three weeks ago.

And yes, when I can tell you today where I will be and what I will be doing on January 25, 2007, a week and a half is indeed "the last minute."

We call them schedules for a reason, folks!

Careful What You Wish For

Remember back when I was bitching about there being no work?

Well, except for a week in October I am booked solid from the 24th of August until right before Thanksgiving.

And by booked solid I mean no days off for almost three months.

Feast or famine. Goddamn I love Show Business!

I Am So Embarassed

I am a doofus. I was writing an email to one of the Mutli- State, Girlie- Advising Posse about something personal and I managed, through an Outlook screwup, to send it to Theatreboy instead.

Sorry T-Boy, I know you could not have cared less.

I Feel Like Freakin Goldilocks

Lots of work to get done in the next week. Plot and paperwork for Hamlet at Perseverance Theatre, groundplan for Lunch at NYMF, scene breakdown and sketches for Copenhagen at Town Hall.

My apartment is too hot.

Starbucks is too cold.

Still looking for somewhere that is just right.

And Now We Really Feel Like Rock Stars

I was just forwarded this ad.



Wanted: 3 Tickets for LUNCH, Tues July 25 - $54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-186020286@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-25, 10:01AM EDT

While we are looking for 3 tickets to tonight's production of Lunch at PEPCO's Edison Place Gallery - 702 8th St. NW at 8 pm, we will take any number of tickets available.
thanks!

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

How effing cool is that?

Only Two More Chances!!!

Get more info here.

Buy tickets here.

We have played to capacity houses for three nights running, so be sure to get your tickets early.

Awwww!

The other day, as I was walking up 17th street to buy props for the show, I approached a couple kissing one another goodbye. Each turned and headed in opposite directions. The one walking towards me had a smile on her face, and turned back to watch the other walk away. Twice.

I sighed audibly.

Isn't love grand?

Random Lunch Musings

After two days of venue related stress, we opened Lunch last night to a standing room only crowd. God love em, the audience laughter added a good five minutes to our run time. And they were laughing in all the right places.

I am running lights for the show, something I have not done in about a decade. Even more frightening is that I have been given lines. That has not occured since Ronald Reagan lived in the White House.

We went up nine minutes late last night, so I was surprised to read that intrepid Fringe blogger (and astute theatre critic) Trey Grahm was not seated when he arrived late at this afternoon's show. Hopefully he will make it back to hear and see the whole thing.

Come see the show, because I am certain it is going on to very big things, and wouldn't you like to say you saw it when.

Yesterday

In the midst of the Fringe madness, I forgot that yesterday was the 27th anniversery of the first moonwalk. A feat that both inspires and saddens me.

In 1969 we sent three men 225,000 miles through space to land on the moon. They landed, got out of the spacecraft and walked around, got back in and returned safely to Earth. Keep in mind that in 1969 we had just barley invented the computer, yet here we were landing men on another planet.

Sadly, the race to reach the moon was born largely out of fear. The fear that the Soviet Union would develop rocket technology superior to our own, putting us at a disadvantage where the potential use of nuclear weapons was concerned.

As you read the paper, you are reminded how little has changed since 1969. North Korea's missle tests on July 4th are a reminder of the very real danger we face from the continued existence of nuclear weapons. Ethnic and religious violence in Africa and the Middle east continues unabated. The AIDS crisis in Africa. Intolerence of differences so extreme that people would accept amending the US Constitution to prohibit same sex mairrage. The list goes on and on.

In the film Apollo 13, Tom Hanks' character says of the moon landing, "It wasn't a miracle. We just decided to go."

One wonders what would happen if we "just decided" to make the world a better place. To bring and end to violence and hatred, poverty, disease, hunger, intolerence.

The human mind contains every possibility. To solve the world's problems does not take a miracle.

We just need to decide to do it.

I F%#&ing HATE PROPS!!!!!

That is all.

Cue Shameless Self Promotion

Come see the show!

Find more info here!

Buy tickets here!

You won't regret it, I promise.

A Favor From My Friends

If you have not heard froom me via email in the past two days, it means I no longer have your email address. Could you please email me so I can have it back?

Assuming you actually want to hear from me.

I Must Be Losing Weight

My ass did not use to hurt this much after spending a day in a chair in front of the computer.

Because it wasn't bony enough already.

I Am The Luckiest Man Alive

So I got robbed Wednesday night.

I had gotten a call from a theatre in California asking about my availability this season. I promised I would look at their website and see what shows I had room for in my schedule. I toodled down to 15th and K to get online. As I was sitting there, a man approached me said he had a gun, and demanded my laptop. I closed it and handed it to him. He took my bag, stuck the laptop in it, and walked up 15th street.

As soon as he was out of sight, I called the cops. Say what you will about the DCPD, but they responded immediatly. There was a car there in three minutes, and I spent the better part of an hour with two officers, driving through alleys in the are searching for the guy.

Ultimately the search proved fruitless, and I was driven home by one of the officers. I sat in my apartment as the shock wore off and I began to realize exactly what losing my laptop meant. I have some files on disk here and there, but nothing even close to a comprehensive backup of the info on that computer.

Gone are 18 months worth of email, all of my music on I-Tunes, dozens of email addresses I don't have written down anywhere, various bits and pieces of dribble I had been writing, the CAD* drawings of over a dozen theatres I have worked in. Perhaps worst of all was the loss of all the work I had been doing for the past month in preperation for the Union exam next week.

I was feeling pretty crappy about it the next day as I took a walk through the alleys in the area, looking in dumpsters and trash cans in the hopes my robber had ditched the bag and computer when he heard the cops coming. No such luck. I contacted various theatres to have them resend me info about upcoming shows, and had to call the exam committee and postpone the test until October.

I talked with both of my parents about the situation, and my mother offered to loan me the money to replace the computer.

After the inevitable second-guessing and anger one goes through in these situations, I began to reflect on how truly lucky I have been in this situation.

One, you are reading about this on my blog, and not in the obituaries.

Two, I have family able and willing to lend support, and not just through this little incident.

Probably more encouraging, I have friends willing to help out. Friday afternoon I received a call from D, whom I have assisted a lot over the past two seasons. He told me he had been discussing my situation with another designer hear in town, and they both offered to front me so I could replace my computer.

I know I have been rather morose of late, and some of you have had to deal with that a lot more than others, but I do know how blessed I am.

If I can't look at my life and see that, then I really have a problem.


BTW folks, back up your data. It really is worth the trouble.

Trust me on this.

*CAD- Computer Aided Drafting

What A Week

There are a lot of tales to tell, but unfortunatly, I am pressed for time.

The short version is I was robbed on Wednesday evening, and the guy got away with my laptop.

Almost three days with no internet access.

Laptop has been replaced, and I am back online.

More later.

This Is Just Wrong

I have discussed dating woes with a number of people over the past few months, and many have said to me "You have to get back on the horse."

It probably says something disturbing about me that every time someone says this to me, I can only think of two words.


Christopher Reeve.

I am pretty sure no one ever said that to him.

Sometimes, I Am An Asshole.

That is all.

Dongle Update

When I got home from the office yesterday there was still no sign of the Vectorworks dongle I have been waiting on since last Wednesday. So I called my new best friend Mike, the sales rep from the software company I had talked to last week.

After telling me how glad he was I had called because he had been trying to get ahold of me for days, he informed me that because the version of the software I had was two releases old, I would indeed have to buy the upgrade to version 12. Mike is no longer my best friend.

Fortunatly, I purchased the software while a student and they are giving me the upgrade at the student price. $160.00 is still way better than $1,700.00, though I am annoyed that Mike could not have told me this last week while I was on the phone with him. The clock is ticking on the union exam.

So now I wait another three to four days.

And we all know what a patient person I am.

WTF!

Did someone move DC into a rain forest while I wasn't looking?

Disclaimer

The post below was written on Friday, when life seemed much bleaker than it does now.

Into Every Life A Little Rain Must Fall

Right now, it is fucking pouring.

This is going to ramble a bit, and large portions of it will probably appear terribly self involved. My apologies.

But isn't blogging self involved anyway?

Life has not been going so well for the ol LD lately. I had four weeks of work drop out from under me last month, and except for two days working overhire last week, I have been six weeks without income. This is a trend that looks likely to continue into the middle of July. I had been (perhaps foolishly) counting on having the rigging work to keep me afloat, but for various reasons that has not come to pass.

Add to that the fact that I did half the number of shows from January to May that I did from August to December this season, and I am in a huge cash flow pinch.

Both of my parents and a friend have been kind enough to float me loans to get me through this rough patch. I am more grateful than I have the ability to express.

On other fronts, my brother has been having health issues. A colonoscopy a few weeks ago revealed a five cm* lump, and last week he had 30 percent of his colon removed. We are still waiting on the pathology report for the lump they removed, but obviously the concern is he may have colon cancer.

In the midst of this, my brother's physician has strongly recommended that I have a colonoscopy done as well. My brother is only three years older than I am and they say he is young to have such a sizable lump. There is a history of colon problems in my family, so I should definatly have the procedure done.

Have I mentioned I don't have health insurance right now?

And now we get to the excessivly self-absorbed portion of the program.

This whole thing, the no work, no health insurance, having to borrow money from my parents, makes me feel pretty much like a failure at this game we call life. Why can't I get it together? I am 38 years old for god's sake, why do I have such difficulty managing my own affairs? Do I just bite the bullet, get a "real job", and put this thing to rest?

I don't know what I would do. I don't actually know how to do anything else.

My brother and I have not been close for a very long time. With inspiration and encouragment from City Mouse, I started to try and do something about that at the beginning of the year when my brother and I flew down to attend my uncle's funeral. We had a long talk about our past and how we became so estranged. We both pledged to try and be better.

The current situation has pointed up how little progress has been made on that front. I feel badly about what my brother is having to face, but find myself at a complete loss as to what to say. I am never good in those situations anyway, and it is made much worse by the fact that we have had so little contact in the past fifteen years.

As I sat at the hospital with my sister in law, I came to realize how closed off I actually am. I don't like people. I like individuals, but humanity as a whole annoys the living crap out of me. As a friend of mine likes to say about me, I do not suffer fools gladly. Yet I feel lonely much of the time. I don't know how to build that bridge out to other people. Being really shy does not help.

Then there is my need to have a colonoscopy done. Yes I will get insurance and have the procedure done. I am not willing to stick my head in the sand. But what really bothers me is that I am not ready. I am not ready to start looking over my shoulder. I am 38, but most days I don't feel a day over thirty.

I am not ready to begin anticipating the hand of death.

Finally, I developed strong feelings for someone. Those feelings were not reciprocated. It sucks, but since there has been nothing but honesty between us, there is no one to blame. I am just profoundly disappointed.

But it gets me thinking about the larger issues. I am 38. I am not getting any better looking. I am certainly not getting any richer A year ago I was finally coming to grips with the notion I might be living the rest of my life alone, and I was begining to accept it.

Now I am facing that notion again, and it frightens me. Will I really never find someone who will love me the way that I want? Someone who is as excited by me as I am by them? The answer is quite possibly yes.

I refuse to settle and I refuse to be settled for. A combination that could lead to a life alone.

And when you find yourself afraid of death, that you might face it alone is fucking terrifying.

* That is just shy of two inches, BTW.

Things I Would Really Like To Stop Doing

Life has been a bit stressfull lately and it has finally gotten to the point it is effecting my behaviour. Not in a good way. What follows is a list of things I really want to stop doing.

• Yelling at my mother.
• Losing things (see post below). I mean really. I live in a studio apartment. It is clean. Why the fuck can't I find anything?
• Eating out of a can or box (not literally).
• Swearing like I have Tourette's.
• Drinking like I have a spare liver stored somewhere.
• Whining to my friends about how much my life sucks right now.
• Taking it out, in a very passive-aggressive way, on one of my best friends.

I know, I know.

So stop already.

Losing It

I lost my dongle.

No that is not some sort of euphamism. It is the USB key I attach to my computer so I can run my copy of Vectorworks, the program I use for drafting.

I had it yesterday as I sat at the office (Starbucks) working on cleaning up the draftings I will be showing at the United Scenic Artists exam next month. Then I got bumped off-line, and when I tried to reconnect, T-Mobile informed me my account was no longer active.

Huh? The payment posted on Friday, but I figured before I called to yell at them I should be absolutely sure.

So I turned off my computer, pulled out the dongle from the back, and started packing up.

Now I was distracted. I conduct a great deal of work discussions via email, and had a number of things floating about that I needed to get responses on. I can't afford not to have an internet connection*.

I headed home to drop off my bag before I went to the bank to check my statement. I entered my apartment, dropped my bag, went to the bathroom, and as I was getting ready to leave I pulled out my keys. When I am drafting away from the house, I keep the dongle on one of those keychains that seperates into two parts, the other part having my house keys.

There in my hand were my house keys, but the other half of the keychain was missing.

OH!

MY!

GOD!

I began searching through my pockets, then through my bag, then on the shelves where I usually deposit items when I enter the house. I checked my drafting table. I searched my bag again, then my pockets again. I walked into the hall outside my apartment.

I decided to retrace my route back to Starbucks. Of course I was so distracted on my way home, I could not remember my exact steps, but I walked the whole way back with my eyes cast to the ground searching.

I reached Starbucks and searched around the table I where I had been seated. I asked at the counter to see if anyone had found it and turned it in. No dice.

I walked back home, and I began to panic. The union exam is three and a half weeks away. Everything I need to prepare for the exam has to originate with those drawings. The software in question will cost $1,700.00 to replace. I don't have $1,700.00. Oh My God!

I asked the doorman at my building if anyone had found it and turned it in. Nope.

On the way up to my apartment I start going through the logistics of re-drafting all of the drawings I will need for the exam. By hand. In three and a half weeks.

Get into the apartment and do a thorough search. It is gone.

OH!

MY!

FUCKING!

GOD!

Cue full blown panic attack.

I sit on my couch for over half an hour just trying to breath.

Finally I begin to attack the problem. I call the software company. The version I have is two releases old, and I am afraid they will not be able support the version I have anymore. But my new best friend, Mike, informs me he can send me a new dongle, and it will only cost $25.00.

$25.00 is waaaaaay better than $1,700.00. And way better than trying to reproduce a bunch of draftings by hand. We love Mike.

Dongle has been ordered, and I should have it by the end of the week.

* Of course, these days, who can?

The Five Stages Of Grief

Denial and Isolation.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.

Hit the Anger stage Friday night.

It was not pretty.

Only Two More Days Till .....!!!!

.... This!!!!

Come one, come all.

Power

It is remarkable the power we allow others to hold over us. The power to be one day lifted up, and the next day be completely eviscerated, all with a casual word. Most of the time people are completely unaware they have even given it away, or that they have been given that power themselves.

It is impossible to open your heart to someone without handing over to them this power. We trust, hoping they will exercise it with caution, and that in the best of cases, they will also give us the same power. If we want the best of what sharing of ourselves has to offer, we must be prepared for the worst as well. That is the bargain life makes with us, maintain power and be alone, or give it away and risk heartbreak.

At this moment, I am completely in the middle as to which is the best option.

Randomly Overheard Comment

"She is so nice, I just want to bitch-slap her sometimes."

TS

Did Someone Get The License Number On That Truck?

I am exhausted. Physically, mentally, spiritually. I just want to go soak my head in a large bucket of whiskey.

It was a stressful day. A day about dealing with family, and health issues (not mine), and more family, and a series of painful memories.

But in the midst of this day, someone was thoughtful enough to contact me and ask how things were going.

Thank you. I don't know that I would have made it through the day without that.

Ahhhhh

After almost five weeks, two days of work.

Woo hoo!

Could Someone Please Explain This To Me?

Apparently, I am really dense.

On Wednsday, the US Senate voted 49-48 to sponsor a constitutional amendment that would prohibit states from recognizing same-sex marriages. Sam Brownback, R-Kan, made a statement that "We're not going to stop until marriage between a man and woman is protected."

Now, I have known a fair number of homosexuals in my life. Some of my dearest frinds are gay. Not once have I ever heard, not even drunk at the bar, any of them declare "Whatever we do, we have to deystroy the institution of marriage! Dear God, don't let the heterosexuals get married!"

So what exactly is it that these people think they are protecting?

My thought?

The right to continue to divide society into "us" and "them". The right to feel superior to someone else based on something as arbitrary as sexual orientation. The right of ignorant people to exercise the only bit of power they posess by marginalizing somone else.

"The Republican leadership is asking us to spend time writing bigotry into the Constitution," said Sen. Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts, to which Sen. Orrin Hatch replied "Does he really want to suggest that over half of the United States Senate is a crew of bigots?"

I can not speak for Senator Kennedy, but I will do more than suggest it. I will flat out fucking say it.

Anyone who supports this amendment is a bigot.

Any politician who votes for it or similar measures is doing nothing more than adding to a divisive culture for their own profit.

MMM.... Paperwork....

Let's face it. Theatre is not an enviromentally friendly industry. We use all sorts of materials, paints, dyes, glues, that can have a negative impact on our local ecosystem if not disposed of properly. We build scenery out of wood which we frequently throw away when the show has closed.

And paper. Reams and reams of paper. Draftings, drawings, performance reports, scripts, notes, schedules. The list goes on and on.

Right now I am preparing paperwork for the United Scenic Artists exam. There is a lot of it.

I don't think the trees like me very much today.

What Are YOU Doing On June 18th?

Coming to the benefit for the show I am working on, of course!

Come one, come all. It will be loads of fun, and I will be there.

Besides, it's only seven bucks. You can't even see a movie at that hour for that price.

Rhetorical Questions

Really, I don't take the trouble to contact people and ask them. If I have asked a question, I am expecting an answer. In some cases I require one to be able to move forward with plans. If I asked you a question on Friday you cannot possibly be so busy that you are unable to reply by the following Wednsday.

What is so difficult to understand about that?

Bea's Meme- Part Deux

1. If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what would you choose?

That I have ever caused another human being pain.

2. What are 3 things in your life that you feel you honestly deserve?

To be wanted for who I am.
A shot at the title.
Probably, a punch in the nose.

3. When was the last time you had to search most deeply for your inner strength?

About two weeks ago.

4. How many simple things have you learned to appreciate more for one reason or another?

Countless.

5. What truth about yourself do you wish wasn’t so?

At the moment, I wish I wasn’t really a girl.

6. What is the biggest age difference you can tolerate between you and your partner?

I don’t really know anymore. The biggest has been twelve years, but I don’t think I would go that large a span again. It really depends on the person, though.

7. What is the most expensive thing in your clothing closet?

Nunn Bush cap toes.

8.What is the fondest memory you have of your mother?

The support I had from her in the time after my ex-wife and I seperated.

9. What was the job you had before your current position?

Student. Ugh. Never again.

10. Have you ever been sexually harassed at work? If so, what happened?

No.

11. List 8 of your pet peeves

Only eight? Jeez.

A) People who behave as if they are the only person on the face of the planet.
B) People who seem to believe they have some entitlement simply because they were born.
C) People who deliberatly hurt other people.
D) People who use other people.
E) Discovering I am out of tonic after I have poured the vodka.
F) Not having phone calls returned.
G) Airlines that can’t get a flight out on time.
H) People with no sense of personal space.

12. What is one of your biggest fears and how might you overcome it?

That I will never be loved the way I want to be. Don’t really know what to do about that.

I am not tagging anyone on this.

Bea's Meme

Cause really, what else do I have to do at the moment?

1- Do people notice you when you walk into a room?

I can’t believe they do.

2- When is the last time you became unraveled?

You mean just today? It has not been a banner couple of weeks, but completely unraveled was Wed night.

3-What are you good at?

Designing, cooking. I have been told I am good at something I don’t feel comfortable mentioning here.

I try to be a good friend.

4-What's in your pocket?

My cell phone, I-Pod, wallet and passport. Oh yeah, and my house keys.

5-What songs would you play to match these situations:

a) sporting event-not much on the sporting events, but probably Taking Care of Business - BTO
b) party-1999 - Prince
c) when you're feelng depressed-Please Accept My Love - BB King
d) while driving or walking-I’m Gonna Be - The Proclaimers
e) when you're feeling frisky- It’s been so long the tune doesn’t really matter anymore.

6-Name 3 songs that remind you of playing when you were a child.

Play That Funky Music White Boy –Wild Cherry
Only The Good Die Young –Billy Joel
Saturday Night – Bay City Rollers

7-How would you spend a rainy holiday weekend?

In my fantasy life, or reality?

In reality, probably working. “Holiday Weekend” means little when in show biz.

In my fantasy life, a long time spent curled up with someone I loved, doing little else except enjoying their company. Although passionate sex would probably enter into the picture a few times.

8- What song is playing right now?

You’re Beautiful –James Blunt

9-If you could have a DVD/VHS of any TV show that you watched as a child, what would it be?

Muppet Show!

10-Name 5 songs that remind you of summer.

Night Moves – Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band
Let’s Go Crazy – Prince
American Pie – Don McClean
Pyromania –Def Leppard
Jack and Dianne –John Cougar

11-Name a food you can't live without.

Pasta. I know several people with wheat allergies, and I can’t imagine. I would shoot myself in the face if someone told me I could not have pasta.

12- How do you like your eggs?

Over easy.

13-What kind of food are you?

Hopefully chicken n dumplings or mashed potatos. You know, comfort food.

14-Are you brave or cowardly?

Not sure. I have friends/ family who describe me as brave, but I don’t feel it most days.

15- What makes you lose focus?

In a good way: specific memories of a certain person, the smell of wood pulp, music that brings up fond memories.

In a bad way: the smell of Patchouli.

16-When is the last time you felt appreciated?

A phone call from my brother a few days ago.

17-What is the weirdest thing about you?

Probably my whole “woman and their shoes” judgment thing.

18-If like the newspaper you could have anything delivered to your front doorstep each and every morning, what would it be?

At the moment, work.

19-Which month of the year describes your personality?

I would love to say October, crisp, cool and colorful. But I suspect these days it is more like January, cold, bleak and depressing.

20-Who is your hero & why?

I admire a number of people in my life so it is hard to bring it down to just one, but if I had to I would say my mom. She has persevered, no matter what, and managed to do so with a sense of humour and a zest for life I find astonishing.

21-Name something (of non-monetary value) that you've always wanted but have never received.

For someone to sing a love song for/to me.

I tag Lucky Spinster, ECAG, S, and City Mouse. Cause you guys are the only bloggers who are reading this damned thing anyway.

From Depressing To Just Plain Funny

When things are not going well in your life, there is a point where bad news just becomes funny.

I hit that point yesterday about 11:30 AM, when in the midst of a series of text messages about my self-conciousness regarding showing up to social things without an invitation (which I wrote about here), I recieved word the two shows I was supposed to run next week have been cancelled. That makes four weeks of work that has fallen out from under me.

And I laughed.

Cause really, what else are you going to do?